


The Trick is to Keep Breathing

by DreamingDangerous



Category: Once Upon A Time - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Drug Use, F/F, First Love, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Underage Drinking, adventures of our favorite clueless beauties, band nerd/jock, but still angst, happiness and acceptance, innocence of youth, just lightly, mild child abuse, not a whole lot of angst, nothing too bad, saxes and softballs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-15
Updated: 2017-11-17
Packaged: 2018-10-05 17:20:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 62,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10313258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamingDangerous/pseuds/DreamingDangerous
Summary: Regina Mills finds herself uprooted from her California hometown before her junior year in high school and moved across the country to a small town in dreary Maine. Regina is less than thrilled at the prospect of having to start over in a place where no one knows her and life is completely different, until she meets Emma Swan: an upbeat, beautiful softball player. Emma's zeal for life despite her less than favorable circumstances quickly pulls Regina in like a magnet, and she finds herself driven to find out who Emma really is underneath the facade she wears like armor. They quickly form a close relationship, and through years of high school parties, family problems, and venturing out into life on their own,  they realize that they can handle anything life decides to throw at them...as long as they  have each other.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! I'm back with my second story. This one is an AU, and will cover the span of about 10 years of Emma and Regina's lives. This one is going to be loooong, I think. So I hope you're ready for the ride! Drop a comment and let me know what you think so far. :)

 

Climbing up two flights of stairs to get to a trigonometry class was just plain ridiculous. Why anyone would ever build a three-storey high school was completely lost to Regina Mills. Two-storey, fine. But three? And for such a small population?

Then again, _lost_ was a good word to describe Regina in general.

For you see, this was Regina's sophomore year of high school, and she had just been uprooted from the sunny California town she'd grown up in and moved all the way across the country to a tiny hole-in-the-wall hovel called Storybrooke, in cold and dreary _Maine._

This travesty had been all her mother's doing. Cora Mills was fashion designer. She had once been just a little girl in the very town Regina was now standing in and seething about, holing herself up in her room and drawing and creating. When she was nineteen, Cora had left home and traveled to California after she'd been discovered by a renowned designer. Not long after arriving in California, she'd met aspiring author Henry Vasquez and they'd fallen madly in love. When they'd wedded, Henry took Cora's last name " _because you have my heart, and should not have to change a thing about yourself for me, mi amor."_

After working for other companies for five years, Cora Mills had broken the mold with her designs and had made a clothing line of her own-branded _Queen of Hearts-_ and it had taken a life of its own for almost twenty years. Cora Mills was now a huge name in the fashion industry, her tasteful yet extravagant clothing having reached Paris, Milan, and even Japan. Now in her late forties, Cora had decided it was time to settle down, and she wanted to go and live the quiet life running a boutique in her hometown. Henry was now a well-loved fantasy/science-fiction author and could work from anywhere, so it hadn't taken much for Cora to convince him to move. (His love of Stephen King was another factor, but they didn't mention that unspoken truth.)

Though Regina had fought tooth and nail, in the end she found herself packing up her room, saying goodbye to the beautiful Pacific ocean and all of her friends, and fuming all the way to their new residence at 108 Mifflin Street.

Now here she was, walking into a pristine classroom on the first day of school, sitting down in a cold chair in a cold room full of strangers.

_Wonderful._

Regina felt more and more tense as more people filed into the classroom, the realization of just how alone she was filling her with dread. She knew _no one_ here.

"Heads up, Swan!" came a loud voice suddenly, and Regina's head snapped up as a softball zoomed toward her face, just _inches_ from breaking her nose, when it was caught by an athletic blonde girl in a purple and gold Letterman jacket. The blonde toppled off balance and crashed into the desk, sending Regina scooting as far back in her chair as she could. " _Excuse_ you!" she cried. The blonde girl righted herself, blowing her hair out of her face, and shot Regina an apologetic smile. "Sorry!" she shrugged nonchalantly before turning away to throw the ball at a dark-haired boy across the room. "Your aim is still freaking terrible, Cassidy! You almost broke the new girl's face." The boy, Cassidy or whatever, just laughed and sat down at a desk.

"I hope you realize," came a melodic voice from the back of the room, "that summer break is _over,_ children." Regina swiveled in her chair and saw a beautiful, yet stern-looking woman a high-waisted pencil skirt and a matching blazer gliding into the room, her long blonde hair styled in a meticulous up-do. She strode to the front of the room where she uncapped a marker and scrawled the name _Ms. Mallory Drake_ across the whiteboard. "Most of you know who I am, and those with older siblings are likely to already know how I run my class. You are in here to learn trigonometry, _not_ to play catch. Now, if you'll all settle down, we'll do roll-call and get started on the syllabus for this class."

When Ms. Drake reached Regina's name, the very thing Regina had been dreading happened. Every head turned to get a glimpse of the "new girl", and the room exploded in whispers. "Quiet!" snapped Ms. Drake, before walking over to Regina and smiling down at her, probably amused by the shade of red Regina's burning face had turned in embarrassment. "Welcome to Storybrooke, Regina. I hope you'll like it here."

"Thank you," Regina said quietly, and without thinking she glanced to her right and saw the letterman-jacket-wearing blonde shoot her a blinding smile. Face burning hotter, Regina glanced back down at her lap and willed the teacher to continue the roll call.

The rest of the day passed in fairly the same manner, though her facial integrity was threatened no more by stray softballs. She skipped lunch, taking that time to walk around the school grounds. No way in hell was she going to walk into a busy lunch room, scanning for an empty seat and looking like a loser eating alone. Tomorrow, she decided, she would pack her lunch.

Regina's last hour of the day was an elective class. Her mother had willed her to take art, her father had practically begged her to take a creative writing class, but Regina had her own passion: playing the saxophone.

So here she was, walking into a giant room filled with chairs. Along every wall in the room were cubbies, some of which were filled already with backpacks, books, and instrument cases. Regina had already been in this room, early this morning to drop off her saxophone for safekeeping. She walked to her cubby where she hung up her jacket and backpack and brought out her prized instrument. It was a beautiful Selmer sax in black nickel silver, her parents having bought it for her when she'd mastered the clarinet by age fourteen. She'd been a star in her last school's jazz band, praised for her amazing ability at such a young age.

Here in this town, there was no jazz band. Only a regular band class. It would have to do, Regina mused.

After easing the instrument's strap over her shoulder, she stood and scanned the room, which was beginning to fill up. She easily spotted two other saxophone players sitting toward the center of the semi-circle of chairs, and made her way over. "This is our section, right?" she asked a dark-haired girl with a cheap-looking beginner's sax perched on her lap. The girl looked up from where she had been arranging her music, gave Regina and her professional saxophone a haughty once-over, and said, "Uh…yeah. Obviously."

Face once more heating up in embarrassment, Regina took the seat next to the girl. "Sorry, that was a dumb question." she mumbled. "I don't-I don't know this place that well yet."

Almost instantly, the girl softened. "Hey," she said, "I'm sorry. That was rude. I'm Lily Drake. My mom teaches trig here. I went through that crap last year, I'm a senior now so I'm done with all that math crap. You must be the new girl everyone is talking about."

Regina pinched the bridge of her nose before looking over at Lily again. "Everyone is talking about me?" she asked, feeling overwhelmed. "Why?"

Lily laughed. "Have you seen our town? It's not every day we get a new face…let alone one with such famous parents."

Regina was about two seconds from bolting out the room, going to her new house, stealing her mother's credit card and hopping the next flight back to California. Lily seemed to sense her major discomfort and immediately changed the subject. "That's an awesome sax, is that a Selmer?" Regina nodded shyly and presented the instrument for Lily's viewing pleasure. "Yeah. I started playing clarinet when I was ten. My parents bought this for me a couple of years ago. I was in my last high school's jazz band. We even won a few awards last year." Lily looked impressed. "Wow," she breathed, reaching over to carefully touch the smooth gray metal. "It really is beautiful. Maybe you could help me practice sometime, if you're really that good."

It sounded like a friendly challenge, which Regina gladly accepted and launched into Kenny G's "Silhouette". After the first few bars, she closed her eyes and got lost in the music. By the time the last note faded, Regina realized the room was deathly quiet. Opening her eyes, she saw about thirty students and a balding middle-aged man on the podium in front of her, all staring in awe. Blushing furiously once again, Regina sat back in her chair and willed herself to disappear.

"That was beautiful," The band instructor beamed down at her. "Everyone, Regina Mills." The room erupted in applause. Regina glanced at Lily, whose mouth was agape even as she was clapping. "You definitely have to help me practice," she yelled over the noise.

Regina smiled at Lily, her first genuine smile all day.

* * *

At the end of the school day, Regina packed up her instrument and made her way home. She lived only about a block from the school, so the walk wasn't terrible. Her walk brought her past the softball fields, where she caught a glimpse of golden hair shining in the rare afternoon sunlight. She stopped in her tracks as she recognized the letterman-jacket-wearing blonde from her algebra class. Swan…Regina couldn't recall her first name, as she'd been trying to bury herself in a figurative hole during that particular roll-call.

Swan was now wearing white softball pants and a black tank top, her uniform shirt abandoned probably somewhere in the dugout. She was pitching, and Regina couldn't help but admire the ripple of her muscles and the rigidity of her stance. Regina was amazed when Swan lurched forward and let a perfect pitch fly toward the batter's face. She looked like she was born to play the sport. She heard the clang of a bat meeting a ball, and watched a thin redhead wearing a helmet zoom to first base.

Regina watched a bit longer, uncaring that she probably looked ridiculous just standing outside the gate, staring. She had never been a sports player, aside from volleyball on the beach, but her father loved baseball and there seemed to always be a game on the big television in their living room.

Regina finally looked away from the practice and continued on her way home, her mind's eye still seeing the blonde Swan, doused in sweat and pitching like her life depended on it.

"Mother? Daddy? I'm home!" Regina yelled as she opened up the front door of the huge house her mother had purchased. She hung her jacked up on a rack by the door and slid her flats off, wiggling her toes in newfound freedom. She missed being barefoot on the beach…

"Do not raise your voice in this house, Regina," she heard her mother yell from the kitchen. Regina smirked. _Pot, meet kettle_ , she mused to herself as she walked through the foyer and sitting room to reach the grand kitchen where it appeared her mother was attempting to cook dinner. "Where's the new housekeeper?" Regina asked, puzzled. Her mother didn't cook. Ever.

"There isn't going to be a housekeeper, dear," Cora said as she squinted over a cookbook. "We've decided that since we're both going to be living at home, we can both handle the upkeep of the house. With your help, of course."

Regina was momentarily astounded. They'd always had a housekeeper…then again, Cora had always been gone and Henry had always been shut in his study, writing. "Oh," was all she managed to say as she sat down at the island.

"I know it's a lot of changes, _princesa_ ," came her father's voice from behind her as he entered the kitchen to wrap an arm around her and kiss the top of her head. "But they are good changes. How was your first day at Storybrooke High?" He looked expectantly at her as he took a seat next to her.

"Um," Regina began. Cora looked up from where she was butchering a poor, innocent tomato and pointed the cutting knife at her daughter. "We do not start our sentences with 'um', Regina."

"Sorry, Mother," Regina supplied. "It was different. It wasn't all bad though. I just…miss home." Cora put down the knife and rinsed her hands, drying them quickly on a hand towel, before making her way around the island counter to hug her daughter. "I promise you, Regina," she began, "this move is a good thing. For one, there are fewer earthquakes to worry about." She winked at Regina before going back to her squashed tomato. "This weekend, I'll take you both to my favorite places in town. When I was a girl, I loved going to the ice cream shop on the other side of downtown. It's called 'Any Given Sundae', get it, _sundae_ as in ice cream. It's quite the popular place for people your age to hang out at after school…or at least it used to be. Towns like this don't change much, though."

Regina and Henry politely listened to Cora as she went on and on, reminiscing over her childhood. Regina's grandparents had died in a car accident before Regina was even born, and even though Cora never talked about it, she could tell she still missed them horribly, and they were part of her reason to move home.

Cora's voice faded into background noise after about a half an hour as Regina found herself thinking of hot weather, crashing waves, collecting seashells on the beach, playing volleyball and wakeboarding with her friends, going scuba diving, grabbing refreshing lemonade from the seaside stands…and she suddenly felt very claustrophobic, even in this big house.

"I'm going to take a walk before dinner, Mother," she interrupted Cora before she even thought about it. Cora looked shocked, but with a glance at Henry, her visage softened. "Of course, sweetheart. I think dinner will be ready in…maybe another hour. I have no idea," she admitted as she grudgingly turned back to her cookbook.

Regina heard her father's good-natured laughter all the way out to the back yard. It wasn't much of a yard, but more the clear remnants of what was once a beautiful garden. _Hmm_ , Regina thought as she plucked at a dead bush. _Maybe I could learn how to garden_.

"Ow, _shiiiit_."

The loud exclamation caused Regina to nearly jump out of her skin. Whirling around, she was astounded to see Swan, one leg thrown over the back gate, the other appearing to be caught on something. "What are you doing?" Regina gasped, running over to the girl.

Swan at first looked shocked to see her, then shot a guilty sideways grin. "Oh," She said, leaning forward to balance herself over the gate with her hands. "So you're the people that bought this place. You guys haven't set foot outside since moving, have you? But I should have guessed. Nice digs, huh?" She tried to laugh, but ended up wincing.

"You've hurt yourself," Regina stated. "What are you doing climbing our fence? That's trespassing."

"Geez, Regina, calm down. It wasn't trespassing when this house was empty. It's a shortcut to my house from the school. It just slipped my mind that there's people living here now." She swung her other leg over the gate and Regina gasped at the sight of blood on her thigh. She had torn her jeans and now had a deep gash just above her knee. Blood was streaming down her leg and staining the denim. "Shit, I'm a klutz." She hopped down to solid ground and adjusted her backpack. "Sorry," she said. "I probably scared the crap out of you." She shot Regina another smile and limped her way to the front gate-the one with an actual latching door-before Regina called out to her. "Swan!"

Swan turned around, puzzled, and Regina ran over to her. "Come inside, we can get your leg cleaned up."

Emma shook her head, her sweaty curls dancing around her face. "I'm good…I live a few houses down from you, on the other side of the street." She gave Regina a wink and added, "And it's Emma."

"What?" Regina was still staring at Emma's wound, distracted and concerned.

"My first name. It's Emma."

With that, she opened the gate and disappeared when she closed it behind her.

* * *

Dinner was disgusting.

"Dinner is delicious, my dear," Henry said, supportive.

"Don't lie to me, Henry Mills," Cora snapped, tossing the burnt-whatever it was-into the trash can and grabbing three TV dinners from the freezer.

* * *

  


   


	2. Chapter 2

Regina's bedroom had a bay window. It was her favorite thing about the house. She sat on the plush window seat and stared out over the town. It really was beautiful, in its own unique way. She had opened the window and the cool salty breeze brushed gently over her skin. If she closed her eyes, she could almost pretend she was back in California.

She wrapped a soft blanket around her and leaned back on a pillow. She started to drift off when she noticed the sound of angry shouting coming from somewhere down the street. Sitting up quickly, she looked down and could barely make out the shadows of man and woman screaming at each other from inside a smaller house. The window was wide open and Regina registered a few choice curse words. She saw a light turn on in a room on the second storey, and she looked up to see none other than Emma Swan. She couldn't see much but a silhouette, but the halo of golden hair was unmistakable. The girl didn't move, and Regina realized she was probably staring right at her. Feeling like a voyeur, Regina closed up her window and turned out her bedroom light, before climbing under the covers of her bed. She stared at the ceiling for another hour, wondering what she had just witnessed. Was Emma in some kind of bad home situation? No, she couldn't be. She was well-dressed, healthy, played sports and her parents obviously had money if they were living on this street. All the houses on this block were upscale. No, her parents were probably just in an argument, like all couples are bound to do once in awhile. They must have forgotten their windows were open.

After trying to convince herself that everything was fine, Regina fell into that deep, exhausted sleep that always came after the first day of school.

* * *

The next morning, as Regina sleepily lowered herself into her desk in Ms. Drake's class, a whirlwind of purple and gold flashed in front of her tired eyes. "Oh, hey, Regina," Emma breathed as she crouched next to her, looking up into her eyes. "Hey…I'm glad I caught you before everyone came in here." Emma looked a little uncomfortable, and Regina could take a bet as to why. Her theory was confirmed when Emma continued, "Look, I'm sorry if my foster parents kept you up last night…" Regina shook her head. "Not at all…I was just sitting in my window seat enjoying the evening…I closed the window when they started. It wasn't my business, right? I didn't want to eavesdrop." Then something clicked in her brain. "Wait…foster parents?"

Emma rolled her eyes. "Ugh, yeah. You don't know yet. I was new to this school last year. Been a foster kid my whole life. James and Kathryn Nolan took me in after my last stay at a group home in Augusta. They're…a little intense, sometimes. I just wanted to apologize for what you may have overheard."

Regina watched Emma's face carefully as she asked, "Do they…do they fight often?"

Emma's face flickered with an unknown emotion before a mask of indifference slid into place. "Well, they…they're not bad. I prefer them to some other homes."

More of their classmates began to file into the room, and Emma brightened and sent Regina another dazzling smile. "I'll talk to you later, Regina," she said as she crossed over to talk with a few of her friends. Regina was left dazed and confused to stare out the window until the bell rang to mark the beginning of the school day.

Regina cast a few glances at Emma throughout that hour, noticing that Emma kept rubbing her left bicep. _Maybe she pulled a muscle during softball practice,_ Regina mused as she began to think about what she knew of Emma so far. For being a foster kid, Emma was really comfortable with herself, made friends easily it appeared, was bright and happy and as it turns out, really good at math. She proved it when Ms. Drake called her to the front of the class to solve a problem and it took her less than ten seconds to do so. She lived with _"_ intense" foster parents, was accident prone judging by her cut leg yesterday and whatever was wrong with her arm today. She appeared to be an open book, but Regina couldn't help but think there was much more to Emma Swan than meets the eye.

* * *

Lunch time rolled around and Regina was feeling overwhelmed. The school work had started, but it wasn't what was overwhelming her. She missed her friends. She didn't seem to be making any at all yet, really, and she wondered if something about her was off-putting. She grabbed her sack lunch from her locker and wandered into the courtyard behind the school. It was a beautiful place, with trees and summertime flowers still blooming, and Regina's favorite feature was the smooth stone fountain in the middle of a circular walkway. She sat on one of the benches that surrounded the fountain, and opened up her pathetic lunch of pre-packaged salad that she'd put in a Tupperware bowl this morning. Drizzling a bit of the dressing she'd packed with it on her salad, she began feeling as pathetic as her lunch. Eating alone in the courtyard, indeed.

Until…

"Hey, Regina, can I sit with you?"

Regina looked up at the familiar voice and was surprised to find Emma standing in front of her with a brown paper sack in hand. "Um, sure," Regina said, scooting over to allow room. Did Emma follow her out here?

"Thanks," Emma sighed as she plopped down in an unladylike fashion. Out of her paper sack she pulled a simple peanut butter and jelly sandwich. After taking a bite, she exhaled sharply. "Sorry if I'm like, bothering you. I just didn't want to be in the lunch room today. They're serving 'surprise' casserole, no one knows what's in it and it always smells horrible."

"Oh," Regina said, realizing that Emma hadn't followed her, and for some reason that disappointed her. "You're not bothering me, Emma. I find I like your company."

Emma grinned at her and took another bite of her childish sandwich. "Gotta hab thomeone to thabe you from thray thoftballth," she said through a mouthful.

"What?" Regina asked, mildly disgusted. Emma laughed and swallowed before trying again. "I'm sorry, that's a horrible habit of mine. I said, you gotta have someone to save you from stray softballs."

Regina recalled almost getting hit with a ball yesterday and smiled. "Yes, well, thank you for that yesterday. Luckily you have good reflexes. I bet you're a good catcher on the field."

"I'm a much better pitcher," Emma laughed. "You got lucky and caught me on a good day to save your face."

"I know, I watched you yesterday," Regina blurted out before she could stop herself. She realized what she said and felt her face heat up. "I mean, I was walking home from school and I saw the team out there, and I've always enjoyed baseball, so I stopped to watch for a minute."

Emma was grinning again. "It's all good, no one said you can't watch if you want to." She finished off her sandwich and pulled a bottle of water out of her bag. After taking a few huge gulps, she wiped her mouth and then turned to Regina quickly, as if suddenly having an idea. "Hey, that reminds me. My best friend Neal, he's the guy that almost squashed your face yesterday, plays for the baseball team and they have their last game on Saturday. Softball season is already over, but we still like to play as long as we can until the weather gets too bad. Anyway, me and a few friends are meeting in town at the ice cream parlor before the game, if you'd like to come with us. It might help you, you know, make some friends and feel more comfortable here."

Regina's heart was pounding at the invitation, but she felt a little hurt when Emma basically told her she needed to make friends. "I'm perfectly comfortable here," she insisted, taking the first bite of her almost-forgotten salad. _Soggy. Ugh._

Emma threw her head back and laughed. "That's why you're eating a salad in the courtyard, alone. Don't worry, Mills, your secret is safe with me." She got up from the bench and pointed at Regina's salad. "You might wanna hurry and finish that, lunch period is almost over."

She started to walk away, but turned around and continued to walk backwards as she shouted, "'Any Given Sundae'! Noon on Saturday. Be there!" She turned back around and hurried off.

Regina sat on her bench, staring after Emma Swan and completely forgetting about her pathetic, soggy salad.

The next few days passed in a blur of stacks of schoolwork, horrible meals made by her mother (Regina was really considering using her allowance to hire a cook, if things kept on like this she was going to die of malnutrition. One could only eat so many frozen dinners in a week), and flashes of Emma Swan.

She had started a tentative friendship with Lily, but they only really talked in between classes and before and after band class. That class was fun, at least. They were playing simple music, but there was something soothing about the hum of the different instruments coming together to make a song (some wrong notes played by her classmates aside).

She overheard two more fights coming from Emma's house as she kept up her new habit of sitting in her window every night. And every night, Emma appeared to do the same. Every time the fights started, Emma would appear in the window. Regina figured it was probably to make sure the neighbors weren't peeping…Regina included. So Regina would close her window and go to bed, trying to ignore the voice in her head telling her that _couples shouldn't fight that much_.

Saturday rolled around in no time. Regina woke feeling excited for the first time since moving to Storybrooke. She finished up what was left of her homework, then showered lazily, soaking up the steam and letting it relax her after her stressful week. She then braided her long brown hair to keep it out of her face, put on a light layer of makeup and dressed in a pair of shorts and a royal purple v-neck shirt. _Might as well represent the school colors,_ she figured. After slipping on a pair of sneakers, she grabbed her purse and headed downstairs, where she found her parents waiting for her. "Are you ready to go see the town?" Cora asked, slipping on her boots as Henry finished his coffee and closed the morning paper. Regina felt a guilty twinge as she realized she never told them about her weekend plans. "Actually," she began, "One of my classmates invited me to the ice cream parlor, and to the last varsity baseball game this season…I'm sorry. I forgot to tell you."

But Henry and Cora looked anything but upset. "How exciting!" Cora exclaimed. She elbowed Henry in the arm and said, "I _knew_ the parlor was still the hangout place." She clapped her hands together and beamed with pride. Henry hugged Regina and said, "I'm happy to see you're adjusting. Have a good day sweetheart. Your mother and I will make it a date of our own, then. Be safe. Call and check in every few hours, if you will." Regina hugged him back tightly and said, "I will, thank you," before rushing out the door.

She made it as far as the next street over before a bright red car pulled up beside her. "Are you going to walk all the way downtown?" came a deep voice from the car. Regina looked over and saw Neal Cassidy grinning at her from the passenger seat. In the driver's seat was a dark-haired boy she'd never met. "Um, yes?" Regina said hesitantly. Neal laughed and said, "Hop in. We've got room."

"I'm…good," Regina said. She barely knew Neal, and she didn't know August at all, and didn't feel comfortable riding with them.

But then the tinted back window rolled down and Regina saw Emma leaning up to punch Neal in the arm. "You look like a total creeper, Cassidy. Jesus." She turned and flashed that billion-watt smile at Regina. "Come on Regina. August is a senior, he's a good driver. If he pulls any stupid stunts, I'll slug him for you."

Emma looked so beautiful, Regina noticed. She was wearing a white athletic tank top and had her hair piled high on her head in a messy bun. She'd also put on makeup, and her skin was practically glowing.

"Uh, Regina? Hello? You okay?"

At that moment, Regina realized she'd been standing there, looking like an idiot, staring at Emma Swan like some kind of weirdo. "Um, yeah," she said, her face heating up. "Okay," Emma opened the door for her and she slid in. After she put her seat belt on, August pressed the gas pedal and they were off.

"Regina, this is August Booth. His dad is the best freaking woodcarver I've ever seen, almost everyone in town gets their furniture and stuff from him." Emma said.

Taking one hand off the wheel, he waved it at Regina without taking his eyes off the road. "Hey Regina. Nice to meet you. My dad knew your mom, they went to school together back in the day. He was quite a bit older than her, though."

"Hello, August. Nice to meet you as well."

"And I'm Neal!" Neal piped up from the passenger seat, turning around to face the girls in the back. "I'm the resident baseball star and heartthrob, pleasure to finally get to talk to you."

 _Heartthrob, huh?_ "Pleasure is all mine," Regina quipped, accidentally putting a bit too much sarcasm into her words. Emma laughed and slugged Neal again. "Turn around, idiot. You're making her uncomfortable."

"Why do you seem to always think I'm uncomfortable?" Regina asked, even though Emma was one hundred percent right. "Well," Emma said, cocking her head and appearing to ponder the question. "It was either Neal made you uncomfortable or you were checking me out back there, one of the two."

Her unfiltered reply shocked Regina so much, she didn't even blush. "F-fine, you got me," she stuttered out quickly. "I've never ridden in a car that wasn't being driven by my parents' personal driver."

They arrived at the ice cream parlor right then, and all three turned to look at her after August parked the car. "Personal driver, huh?" August repeated. "That's something." He turned to Emma and said, "You hear that, Swan? When I'm a famous novelist, I'm going to get myself a personal driver."

Emma scoffed. "You like driving too much, Booth. I'll believe it if I ever see it."

As they got out of the car, Regina walked beside August behind Neal and Emma. "So, you're aspiring to be a novelist?" she asked to start conversation. August nodded. "Yeah, uh, I'm already almost done with my first book, it's kind a of a twist on fairy tales. Just gotta add a few more things and figure out an ending, I think," he blushed a little and scratched the back of his neck. "My dad wants me to take over the woodworking business, but it's not my thing." Regina nodded as they entered the parlor and were blasted with cool air. She felt goosebumps rise on her arms and regretted that she didn't bring a jacket. "I know how it is," she said. "My parents wanted me to write, or to draw or design, but I chose a musical instrument. We have to live our own lives, I think."

As they crossed the parlor to join a group of other people, Regina added, "You know, I bet Daddy-I mean, my father-would help you, if you want some tips on writing." August's eyes lit up. "Advice from the famous Henry Mills? He would do that?"

"Of course," Regina laughed at his, placing a tentative hand on his arm. "I'll talk to him about meeting with you."

"Thanks, Regina. That would be awesome." He smiled at her and then wandered off to greet a couple of his other friends. Regina then noticed that among the crowd was Lily. "Lily!" she exclaimed, walking up to her band mate. "Look at you, Regina," Lily smirked. "Out and about, finally." She grabbed the arm of a girl next to her that had been in conversation with Emma and dragged her close. "This is Ruby Lucas, my girlfriend."

If Regina's jaw hadn't been hinged to her skull, it would have fallen to the floor. "Oh wow," she said, reaching out to take Ruby's hand. "Nice to meet you, Ruby. Wow. So, you guys are…openly together?"

"Ha! Crazy, right?" Ruby laughed. "Yeah, Lily's mom is a total hippie underneath all those business suits, she believes in the 'one love' stuff. And my gram-my parents died when I was little, so my gram raised me-is just happy I'm not going to end up a pregnant teen statistic." She leaned over and pecked Lily's cheek. "Graham just walked in, we haven't seen him in weeks, I'm gonna go say hi!" and she bounced away like a toddler on caffeine. "She's cute," Regina said conversationally to Lily, who was laughing at her girlfriend's antics. Lily gave a fake angry face and said, "Stay back Mills, she's mine." Regina shook her head and chuckled. "All yours," she agreed. "So, how does the town take…homosexuality?" Lily shrugged. "It's Maine. Even the small towns aren't that bigoted anymore. Some people are, but who cares when we're happy, right? Was it all sunshine and roses in California?"

"Definitely more than what I've heard about other states," Regina confirmed. "But you two are cute together."

"Thanks, Mills. I'm gonna go pry her off of Graham, he's looking for someone to save him." And true to her words, a tall man with sandy brown hair was being bear hugged by Ruby while trying to talk to a few other people. Regina made a mental note to ask who he was later. She meandered up to the counter and was greeted by a beautiful blonde woman who appeared to be in her mid-thirties. "Hey, a new face! You look a lot like Cora Mills. You must be Regina!" She pulled a glove off her hand and leaned over the counter, proffering her hand for Regina to shake. "I'm Ingrid Keller, I own this place. What can I get you today?"

Regina looked from the stunningly beautiful woman to the seemingly endless ice cream flavors in front of her before saying, "I don't really know. What do you recommend?" Ingrid gave her a wink and said, "My Rocky Road is a town favorite. Want to sample?"

Regina glanced at the tub of ice cream labeled _Rocky Road_ and shuddered at the overload of marshmallows and chocolate. "Um, no thanks," she said. "I guess I'll just have a scoop of vanilla in a cup today, please."

Ingrid moved to get her order, but Regina felt an arm wrap around her shoulders and her nose was invaded by a pleasing scent of warm vanilla and cinnamon as Emma appeared behind her, yelling, "Live a little, Gina! Get her a scoop of the Rocky Road, Ingrid. I'll pay for it." Regina started to argue with her, starting with that _awful_ nickname Emma had just bestowed on her, but Emma held up a finger to her lips and said, "Shush. You don't come into Any Given Sundae and order a scoop of _vanilla_ , Regina. That's just sooo…vanilla." She laughed at her own joke and said, "Look, if you don't like it, you can buy yourself a boring vanilla scoop and I'll eat the Rocky Road. But just give it a try."

Quicker than Regina could say _I don't like sweets very much_ , a cup filled to the brim with the delectable-looking Rocky Road ice cream was in her hands and Emma was pushing some cash across the counter.

"I also do specialty cakes, just so you know!" Ingrid added hastily as the girls walked away from the counter to rejoin the now huge crowd of students at the tables.

Regina sat down and glared in disdain at offending confection until Emma laughed and grabbed the spoon, scooping up a sizeable amount and holding it up to Regina's face. "Come on," she urged. "One bite." Regina, ready to now explain that she didn't like overly sweet foods, looked up at Emma's face and found herself barking with laughter at the ridiculously cute pout she found on the blonde girl's face. "Okay," she gave in. "One bite." She leaned forward and wrapped her lips around the spoon, pulling the ice cream into her mouth. An amazingly rich flavor exploded over her taste buds and she moaned in surprised delight. "Oh my god," she said, smiling. She looked at Emma again and noticed a blush on the girl's face, her mouth slightly agape. She quickly recovered from whatever was wrong with her, and slapped Regina lightly on the arm. "I knew you'd love it," she crowed victoriously. "Hey, Ingrid!" She shouted to the parlor owner, who popped up from where she'd been restocking a flavor in the chiller. "She loves it!" Ingrid grinned and gave a thumbs up before returning to work.

Regina willingly ate the whole scoop of ice cream, keeping her eyes on Emma as she left her side to talk to a few other people. Regina admired the way Emma was so confident, standing tall and proud and not afraid to talk to anyone. Regina had had a fair amount of friends back in California, but most of them had been her friends since kindergarten. She'd always been a bit shy, and that mostly stemmed from being the daughter of two fairly famous people. She was never sure if people wanted to be her friend because they liked her, or if they just wanted to befriend the famous Mills' couple's daughter.

But Emma, beautiful, golden Emma, was working the room like a socialite, a big wide grin pasted on her face and her incredible green eyes shining with mirth. That girl was scared of nothing, open to everyone. And yet she was a mystery to Regina, one that Regina found herself wishing to solve.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, just a little note here: I am aware the Red Sox have won 8 World Series championship games, and that the Phillies have won 2. However, the start of this story takes place in 2006, so I had to adjust the numbers to the year accordingly. Also, Regina's favorite team being the Phillies is a nod to the fact that Lana's father played for that team. So, just a little Easter egg in there. Let me know what you think!  
> Also, this chapter contains underage drinking, which I in no way condone or support, but I'm also not stupid, I know what happens at some parties. Lol

After a few more introductions, the group started to disperse as people made their way out to go to the baseball fields. Regina pulled her flip phone out of her purse and quickly sent a text to her mother- _Any Given Sundae is pretty good. Heading to the game soon-_ and then she saw Neal and August start to leave and she got up to follow, but Emma grabbed her elbow and said, "I figured we'd walk. The fields aren't far and the sun is actually out today. Figured we could talk, get to know each other a bit more. I was kind of distracted by everyone in there." Regina found herself nodding and falling into step beside Emma.

"So," Emma began, "Lily told me you're a really good saxophone player. You should play for me sometime." Regina felt a blush heating her cheeks and she ducked her head. "Yeah, I've been playing since I was little. I still have a long way to go. What are your hobbies, besides softball?" she asked Emma, desperate to learn more about her new friend.

To her surprise, Emma seemed to shrink into herself, raising a hand to scratch absently at her neck. "Um, nothing really," she said shyly. "I'm not good at anything but softball."

"Well, even if you're not  _good_  at anything else, what are your other interests?"

Emma glanced at Regina's hopeful face and sighed in resignation. "Okay. Quid pro quo. I tell you a secret hobby, you tell me one. Okay?"

Regina nodded a little too quickly. "Okay."

Emma puffed out a laugh and linked her arm through Regina's as they walked. "I love to cook."

Regina was expecting probably anything else but that. Emma could have told her that she secretly loved to crochet sweaters for dogs and Regina would have been less surprised. "Really?" she said, almost disbelieving. "You were eating a peanut butter sandwich for lunch the other day." Emma giggled. "Well, I don't always like to eat what I cook, but I love to cook anyway. It started when I was about eight. My foster parents then were a real piece of work. The kind that only took the kids to get the money, then spent the money on everything but the kids. They'd leave for weeks at a time, I still don't know where they would go. Now that I'm older, I suspect they were on drugs. But anyway, there were four other kids in the home, all younger than me. I found this old cookbook that the 'mother' had tucked away in the kitchen and read it when I was bored. The recipes sounded fun, so I started to steal ingredients from gardens, grocery stores, et cetera. We were starving, you understand. I did what I had to. And I started cooking. I burned a lot of meals, but we ate them anyway."

Regina's heart was filling with sadness for her new friend. "Oh, Emma…"

Emma held up a hand. "No, don't you dare pity me. I found a passion and a little bit of skill in culinary arts. Everything I went through is the reason I am who I am today. My GPA is 3.9, and I'm about to raise it to a 4.0, get scholarships, and get myself through college. Plus, now I cook for the sheer fun of it instead of out of necessity. I work three evenings a week at Granny's Diner downtown, as a line cook. You should try it sometime, it's one of the best places in town to eat. Now, it's your turn."

"My turn?" asked Regina, having completely forgotten their deal. Emma raised her eyebrows at her. "Yeeahh. Quid pro quo. Tit for tat."

"Oh," Regina said, feeling stupid for forgetting. But could Emma really blame her? What a story… "I…have a lot of other hobbies. Or at least, I did in California. One of my favorite things to do is going snorkeling off the coast. Daddy took me scuba diving twice last summer, and it was amazing, and terrifying…I miss the Pacific ocean so much already."

"Hmm," said Emma, "I think I'd like to try that someday. Did you ever surf?"

"Ha! No. I've wake boarded a few times, but surfing is definitely not for me."

"Too much of a klutz?"

"Too scared of the gigantic waves that have the potential to break my neck."

"Fair enough."

They had arrived at the baseball fields, and Regina was amazed at the size of the crowd. "This must be the whole town," she said as she gawked. Emma chuckled and said, "You'd think, but no, not quite everyone." They purchased their tickets to the game and Emma quickly found her group of friends, leading Regina up the stands to two empty seats as the game began.

Regina was actually kind of impressed. Neal Cassidy did seem to be the star player for the varsity baseball team, and he had this contagious energy about him that the whole team seemed to leech from. Regina found herself completely focusing on the game, until Emma's soft laughter graced her ears. "You really do like baseball, don't you?" the blonde asked, leaning close so Regina could hear her over the noise of the crowd. Regina smiled shyly, not taking her eyes off the game. "I've watched baseball since I was a baby," Regina answered.

"What's your favorite team?"

"Philadelphia Phillies, of course," Regina grinned.

"Whaaaat?" Emma squawked. "Come on, the Boston Red Sox have won  _six_  World Series championships…how can you be a fan of a team that only won  _one…_ in 1980?"

Regina sniffed, finally looking away from the game and sending Emma a mock-glare. "Maybe I enjoy that they play with their whole hearts and keep going even when they don't win  _World Series championships_. They're a great team."

"Whew, Regina, don't ever tell anyone but me what team you root for. Believe me, I'm saving your hide here." Regina stuck her tongue out at Emma and they both laughed before turning back to the game.

* * *

Storybrooke's varsity baseball team won the game against the neighboring town with an impressive score of 13-4, and by the end of it all Regina was slightly sun-burnt and filled to bursting after sharing nachos, pretzels and a large soda with Emma. They parted ways with the group of Emma's friends and began their walk back to Mifflin street.

"Thanks for inviting me," Regina said to Emma as they fell into step with each other once again. "I had fun." She smiled at Emma and the blonde grinned back. "No problem, Gina."

Regina was about to set Emma straight over the repeat of that hideous nickname, until she realized that Emma was  _really_  sun burnt. "Oh, Emma!" She gasped. "You burned…" Emma glanced down at her red arms and touched her shiny red face gingerly. "Oh, yeah," she said. "That does hurt a bit. I forgot to put on sun block this morning." Registering Regina's concerned face, she reached over and poked her in the arm. "It's fine, worry wart. It'll be a tan by tomorrow morning."

Regina was not convinced, but she let the blonde off the hook. "Whatever you say."

"So, do you have any plans for tonight?" Emma asked out of the blue a few seconds later. Regina's brow furrowed. "I…don't think so, why?"

"Well, everyone always celebrates on the beach after the last game of the year. They get a bonfire going, play some volleyball, it's a lot of fun. You could come with me."

Honestly, Emma had Regina at the words "bonfire" and "volleyball", but in an attempt not to seem too eager, Regina shrugged. "I'll ask my parents and let you know. Do you have a cell phone?" Emma nodded and pulled a Razr out of her back pocket. "Sure do. What's your number?"

They exchanged phone numbers and, as they turned onto Mifflin street, Emma waved goodbye with a "Let me know! They start when the sun goes down!" and darted into her house.

Regina walked the rest of the way to her house, unable to get the smile off of her face. Her first weekend amongst her new friends and classmates really wasn't so bad. She'd had a lot of fun, and she owed Emma for that. Opening the front door of her home, she yelled out, "Mother! Daddy! I'm home!" and was greeted with silence. Puzzled, she pulled out her cell phone to see if her mother had texted her back. Sure enough, she had one message from Cora:  _Your father and I are going to dinner and a movie. We'll be back late._

Quickly, she texted back.  _Sorry if I'm interrupting dinner, but Emma invited me to go to a bonfire down at the beach tonight. May I?_

She waited impatiently for the return text, reminding herself that her parents were enjoying themselves at dinner and probably wouldn't constantly have their cell phones out. She put her phone down and got into the shower, running cool water over her overheated skin to alleviate some of the stinging from her burn. When she finished, she dressed in a pair of faded jeans and a loose, flowing blouse that felt like heaven against her tender skin…just in case she got to go to the bonfire. She reached for her phone and saw that her mother had replied. Flipping the phone open with excitement, she read,  _Ah, I remember those parties. Yes. Check in often._

There was also a message from her father:  _Have fun. Make good choices._

Shaking her head with a chuckle, she pulled up Emma's number and sent her a quick text.  _Parents said yes._

It was less than a minute later that her phone rang. Seeing Emma's name on the screen, she answered immediately. "Hey," she greeted.

"Hey. So, I wasn't going to take no for an answer, and since it took you so long to text me, I'm kind of hanging out in your back yard, ready to jailbreak you if need be."

Regina rushed downstairs and to the window that overlooked the dead garden, seeing Emma sitting on an old rickety bench swing toward the back of the gate. She hung up the phone and ran out the back door, instantly entering the garden. "That's a little stalkerish, I must say," she joked as she approached Emma. Emma shrugged. She was still dressed in her clothes from earlier, with the addition of a long, soft-looking green cardigan thrown over her shoulders. She had taken her hair down from its bun and it was flying around her shoulders and face in wild, gorgeous disarray. The cardigan emphasized her glowing green eyes, and for a moment, Regina was stunned by her. "What can I say?" Emma said, snapping her back into focus. "I'm not ready for the day to end. You're starting to be fun, loosen up…you've smiled more today than I've seen so far. You have a beautiful smile, you know?"

Regina folded her hands in front of her self-consciously. "Um, thank you."

The setting sun was shining through the trees and casting waves of shadow and golden light over the garden. Emma's skin was still red, but her eyes shone bright and her smile was contagious. Regina found herself smiling back at her hesitantly, and they were both locked in a strange kind of staring contest. Emma's eyes drifted down to Regina's outfit, and Regina felt a strange sensation in her stomach under the scrutiny…almost like a flip and flutter. Emma's eyes moved down to linger on her feet before she busted out laughing, ruining the moment. "Are you planning on going barefoot?" she asked. Regina glanced down at her bare feet and groaned. "You know, I would have put on shoes, but I was made aware of a stalker in my garden."

Emma stood up from the old swing carefully and said, "Well, let's go get you some shoes on. Are your parents in there?" Regina shook her head and explained that her parents were at dinner, and Emma began  _bouncing_ on her toes. "Excellent. Wasn't quite ready to meet the parents, especially not looking like a lobster."

 _Meet the parents?_ That kind of sounded like…was this a…a date?

Was Emma gay, like Ruby and Lily? Did she think Regina was?  _Regina_  didn't even know if Regina was gay. She'd never had boyfriends, never had any interest in them. But was she  _gay?_  She'd never even entertained the idea of romance, let alone tried to figure out which sex she was attracted to. But hell, she was sixteen now…it was probably time to start thinking about that sort of thing. "Um, meet the parents?" she asked, hoping that Emma would clarify without further questions.

Emma delivered, and her answer was…disappointing? "Yeah, I mean, I'm your first friend in this town, right? Your mom is this renowned fashion designer. I'm not dressed to the nines tonight. And your dad? Don't ever tell him this, but I own like every single one of his books… _whoa._ "

They'd entered the house through the back door and Emma was now staring in awe at the immaculate, large kitchen. Regina hummed in amusement and led Emma through the sitting room, into the foyer and up the stairs, trying not to laugh out loud at Emma's constant  _"Wow"_ s and " _Holy shit"_ s in regards to the décor and size as they made their way up to Regina's room. Once inside, Emma's jaw seemed to unhinge. She took in Regina's cherry wood canopy bed, the matching vanity that housed Regina's makeup and hair products, and the string of white lights that Regina had hung all around the top of her walls. "You live like a princess," Emma gasped.

Regina chuckled uncomfortably. "I guess." she reached into her closet for a pair of sandals. Slipping them on, she turned to see that Emma was staring at a corkboard on her wall that housed about a dozen photographs, all of Regina and her friends in California. Emma reached out and touched one picture, and Regina saw that it was one that was taken of her underwater, wearing scuba gear and waving at the underwater camera. There were a multitude of colorful fish around her, and beautiful white sand at the bottom of the frame. "Wow," Emma breathed. "You lived a fun life. I can see why you aren't so happy here."

Regina didn't say anything for a long moment, and Emma's gaze never left the pictures until Regina blurted out, "I have an idea!" she rushed over to her small desk and pulled a Polaroid camera out of one of the drawers. She rushed back to Emma and pulled her close, holding the camera facing them. "Say cheese!"

"Gina, I look like a tomato. And who even owns Polaroids anymore? Digital cameras are now a thing."

"Don't call me Gina," Regina finally said, "and say cheese."

She checked that Emma was smiling and she pressed her face in close, snapping a quick photo. The photo paper printed out immediately and Regina grabbed it, waving it into the air to help it develop quicker. When her own face and Emma's beet red one was smiling back at her, she grinned triumphantly and grabbed a push pin, sticking the photo onto the corkboard and stepping back to admire her handiwork. "There," she stated. Emma stepped over to her to look at the picture, bringing her hand up to rest on her chin as she studied it. When she didn't say anything for a long moment, Regina took a deep breath and attempted to fill the silence. "I think I could make some new memories here. Starting with you, tomato-face," she joked. Emma seemed to start slightly, for some reason, before turning to face Regina. "I like it. I'm happy to be in your first picture here."

They looked at each other for a moment, both smiling awkwardly, before a car horn was heard from somewhere on the street and Emma glanced away and at the clock on the wall. "Oh, hey, it's eight thirty. The bonfire should be starting soon. That's probably Neal and August, they're our ride for tonight. Grab a jacket and let's go!"

Regina quickly grabbed her favorite light denim jacket and led Emma back downstairs and out into the rapidly cooling evening, where they were greeted by the now-familiar red car sitting outside of Emma's house.

Upon first sight of the bonfire, Regina was elated. The fire was roaring, people were standing all around, a few people were already involved in an intense game of volleyball…it looked so much like home. After pulling out her phone and letting her mother know she'd made it safely to the bonfire, she looked back at the ocean and felt a pang of immense sadness fill her. This wasn't the Pacific ocean, and she didn't know very many of these people.

Emma saw her face go from excited to sad in that split second, and she reached out and took her hand. "Hey," she said. "It's not California, but that doesn't mean it's not a hell of a good time. Come on, we'll give you the whole Storybrooke experience."

Regina tucked a stray strand of hair that had fallen out of her braid behind her ear and nodded, ready to try and have fun again. Emma's warm fingers squeezed her own tightly and then let go. "First thing's first," Emma said, going to the trunk of the car and pulling out a large cooler. "You need to loosen up, and we have just the thing."

Regina was stunned as Emma pried off the lid to reveal that the cooler was full of beer. "Emma!" she gasped. "We're sixteen!"

Neal appeared beside her, leaning over to nudge her with his shoulder. "We won't tell if you don't," he said with what he probably thought was a charming wink. He leaned down and grabbed a cold can of beer, popping it open and chugging it down in a matter of seconds. Emma grabbed one of her own and held another out to Regina, who refused with a wave of her hand.

"Never done any actual partying, have you, Regina?" Emma asked as she opened her beer. Neal and August replaced the lid on the cooler before each grabbing a handle and carrying it down closer to the shore to share it with the group.

"N-no."

Emma sipped her beer and said, "I don't like getting drunk, but I do like how a couple of beers relaxes me. Want to taste? It's not all that bad." She handed the can to Regina who took it reluctantly and lifted it to her lips for a sip. She immediately grimaced as the bitter taste spread over her tongue and down her throat. "Oh, that's definitely bad," she choked out as she handed the can back to Emma, who was laughing at her. "Oh well, at least you tried it. Come on, let's play some volleyball."

Regina gladly joined the game of volleyball and within ten minutes, a circle had formed around the players and Regina was a sudden star. She was a mediocre player at best, but for some reason her peers seemed to love watching her play.

There was nothing to drink at the bonfire but an assortment of beers and a few stray bottles of liquor, so Regina, overheated and sweaty, gave in and opened a can of her own after the game. A can soon turned into three as she grew accustomed to the taste, and before she knew it she had lost Emma somewhere and was dancing in a circle around the large fire with a handful of other people, Lily and Ruby included, feeling more relaxed and free than she ever had as someone blasted popular hits from their car speakers.

Her peers whooped and yelled and sang along, Lily grabbed Regina's hands and spun her around, and when Shakira's "Hips Don't Lie" came on the radio, Regina found herself singing along loudly while attempting to shake her hips with the rest of the crowd and ending up sandwiched between the two resident lesbians.

She was having  _fun_. She didn't feel like an outsider, not right now, not with everyone so happy and the atmosphere so welcoming. She danced with people she'd only seen in the hallways at school, she danced with people she'd never seen before.

And eventually, sometime after her fifth or ninth beer, she supposed, she found herself standing where the sand met the ocean and staring into the blackness, her blurry gaze on the stars as she took her sandals off and waded up to her ankles in the water. It was cold, too cold for her liking, but she was sweaty and dirty and smelled strongly of beer, and before she knew it she was peeling her jeans and jacket off.

"Whoa, Regina, what are you doing?!" came Emma's shriek from somewhere in the distance. Regina turned around, spotting the blonde running toward her. She felt a grin split her face and she took her hair down from her braid, shaking it out and letting it fall down to her hips in waves. "I'm going for a swim, Emma," she shouted, seconds before running out into deeper water and diving right in.

The icy sting of water stole her breath, and she heard the roar of the waves in her ears as she submerged herself. But oh, this was heaven. She was surrounded by darkness and the muffled sound of the ocean, and felt totally at peace.

Until something brushed her leg.

Regina broke the surface, screaming, adrenaline pumping, before a pair of thin, strong arms wrapped around her. "Whoa!" Emma yelled. "I got you. It's just me. Jesus, Regina, you are crazy!"

Regina brushed her hair out of her face and gasped, "I thought you were a shark!"

"I might have been! Why are you swimming in the ocean in the dark? God, it's freezing in here!"

Regina looked down and saw that Emma had stripped her jacket and shirt off and was standing in waist-deep water in only her bra and shorts. Goosebumps raised on her chest and stomach, and Regina's head felt even fuzzier at the sight. She started to apologize, but then a rush of sound and motion caught her attention.

Apparently, her crazy antics had earned her a few followers. About twenty teenagers were now stripping down and jumping into the water, screaming at the chill and laughing as they splashed each other.

"There are definitely not going to be sharks now," she said to Emma, her teeth starting to chatter.

God, Emma looked beautiful. The moon was shining down on her wet skin, her hair was slicked back away from her face, and the look of worry was now replaced by a look of amusement. "Okay, Miss Popular," Emma said, grabbing Regina's hand and hoisting her out of the water, "You've had a few too many and don't need to be in the water this far out. Or at all. Damn, it's cold. Let's go back to the fire."

They collected their clothes and the others followed suit, everyone gathering close to the fire to dry off and get warm.

Eventually, everyone was dry and the fire was dying, and Regina felt herself drifting off where she was leaning against a log. Emma disappeared for a moment, and Regina felt too heavy to ask where she was going or follow her, but she soon came back with a pile of blankets that she'd gotten from somewhere, laying them out on the sand for multiple people to use. "We've all been drinking, no one needs to drive," she announced softly to Regina, who nodded in understanding, moving to claim one of the blankets. Emma laid a second blanket out and then a large one over both of them, and Regina could hear her saying something that sounded like "Beautiful, amazing, and  _insane_ " but was already drifting into a heavy, dreamless sleep.

* * *

"Regina."

Regina opened her eyes and immediately regretted it, as her eyes were quite frankly  _shanked_  by the sunlight. Wrenching her eyes closed again, she tried to go back to sleep.

"No, Regina, you have to get up. Come on."

Emma. That was Emma's voice. Regina opened her eyes again and, despite the burning pain that brought on, focused on the figure sitting next to her. Emma had packed up her blanket and was holding out a bottle of water and two white pills. "Come on, Gina. Sit up and take these."

With Emma's help, Regina got herself into a sitting position and groaned as her head and stomach protested. "What the…what is wrong with me?" she moaned as she took a sip of the blessedly cool water.

"You have a hangover. You had like ten beers or something last night, you were keeping up with the jocks like a pro…" Emma shoved the pills into Regina's hand and repeated, "Take these. They'll help. It's just aspirin."

Regina did as she was told, but gagged a little as the pills slid down her throat. "No, no no no," Emma coaxed, rubbing a hand down Regina's back. "Don't you dare throw up. Come on."

Fighting back the urge to vomit, Regina drew her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, leaning her head down on her knees. "Oh, God. I'm such an idiot."

Regina vaguely registered the sounds of car doors closing and engines starting and assumed that people were waking up and going home. "What time is it?" She asked, her voice muffled by her cocoon of bodily misery.

"About, oh, noon?"

" _What?"_ Regina exclaimed, jumping up and ignoring the pounding in her head. "Oh, God, my parents are going to kill me! The last thing I texted them was that I was here, I never told them I wasn't going to come home, they're probably  _furious_ -"

"Whoa, Gina," Emma coaxed, having jumped to her feet with Regina. "No, they're fine. I texted them last night for you."

"Huh?"

Regina lifted her bleary eyes to Emma's face, taking a moment to admire the fact that the red skin had faded into a beautiful golden tan already- _hmm, she wasn't lying, the burn did become a tan by morning-_ and then asked, "What do you mean you texted them for me?"

Emma gave her a guilty grin and said, "I took your phone out of your pocket when you fell asleep and found your contacts, and texted your mom. I told her who I was and that you had fallen asleep on a blanket on the beach and would be home sometime in the morning. She thanked me for letting her know."

"Oh," Regina breathed. "Thank you." She was extremely relieved that Emma had thought of contacting her parents when it had slipped her inebriated mind. "You didn't tell them I was drinking, did you?" she asked, suddenly paranoid. Emma laughed. "Regina, all of our parents know we drink at these things. As long as we don't stumble into the house at three in the morning after doing some drunk cruising, they don't give us too much shit about it."

"Oh."

* * *

It was about one in the afternoon when Regina finally entered her home, desperate for a shower. Her skin was stiff and itchy from the salty ocean water and the sand that had wedged into extremely uncomfortable places in the night. "Hey, I'm home," she called weakly upon entering the foyer.

"In here, Regina," came her father's voice from the sitting room.

_Uh oh._

Regina walked into the room to find her father and mother sitting on the couch, watching a baseball game on the TV. "Uh, hey," Regina said, moving to stand behind a chair as if it would protect her from her parents' wrath. "I'm sorry I didn't text you last night…"

Cora waved a nonchalant hand. "Your friend Emma is a very considerate girl. Your father and I were up late waiting for you to get home when we received the text. At least  _she_ cared to let us know that you hadn't drowned in the ocean."

Regina hung her head. "I'm sorry, Mother," she apologized softly. "It won't happen again."

"You bet it won't," Cora confirmed in clipped tones.

"Daddy?" Regina asked, scared of what he would say as he had been staring at the screen the whole time. He finally looked at her and, to her surprise, burst out laughing. "You look like a drowned cat,  _princesa,_ " he ground out through his laughter. "Did you learn any important lessons last night?" he asked once he had calmed, wiping tears from his eyes before pinning her with a  _knowing_  look. Regina felt her face heat up and she nodded quickly. "Yes, Daddy. I definitely learned a couple of things."

"Good," Cora and Henry said together, before Cora said, "Go take a shower before you get sand all over the house. When you're done, I managed to make eggs and bacon this morning, they weren't too bad. You'll feel better with some food in your stomach." And with that, she turned back to the television and waved dismissively in Regina's direction.

Dazed, Regina made her way up to her room, wondering how in the hell she'd gotten away with underage drinking at a bonfire.

Halfway through her shower, the water turned ice cold and she shrieked, the pounding in her head intensifying as she scrambled to rinse off and get out from under the water. Dressing quickly in a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, she made her way downstairs to get some food. Her mother was right, her attempt at breakfast wasn't too bad. The eggs were burnt and the bacon was nearly black, but it was better than anything else Cora had made since they'd moved. She rinsed down the burnt taste with a glass of orange juice and rinsed off her dishes before attempting go to upstairs, thinking she'd love to sleep some more…but was blocked by her mother, holding the handle of their vacuum. "Today is your chore day, Regina," Cora said, a mocking smirk playing at her lips. "You're going to vacuum every room, dust the fans and the shelves, sweep and mop the kitchen, do the dishes, and then you're going to help your father paint the guest room. After that, you'll help me cook dinner."

In that moment, Regina realized: "You turned off the hot water heater while I was in the shower, didn't you?"

Cora's smirk widened to a full, slightly evil-looking grin. "You haven't learned your lesson well enough yet, I don't think," she stated before pushing the vacuum into Regina's hands and leaving the room.

Regina, standing in the middle of the kitchen with the vacuum in hand, stunned as she realized she had not, in fact, gotten away with  _anything._


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this one is a bit longer. Also, I put a bit of myself in Emma in that her favorite band is Garbage. In case you're interested in listening to the songs as you read, they are "The Trick is to Keep Breathing" (and yes, it's the inspiration for the title of the fic) "Sex is Not the Enemy" and "Temptation Waits."  
> Hope you all enjoy! Drop me a comment if you like it or hate it :)

It was like the party had flipped some sort of switch. On Monday, Regina was immediately bombarded with people walking up to her and talking like they'd been friends forever. She sat with Emma, Lily, Ruby and Neal at lunch, and a few other people whose names she hadn't learned yet.

She questioned Emma about her sudden popularity as they walked home from school (Regina having watched Emma's softball practice once again), and Emma laughed. "Well," she said, "You made an attempt. The first week, you were so…well, stuck up."

Regina gaped, affronted. "I was  _not_  stuck up."

"You  _appeared_ to be, your highness," Emma teased. "I know you're not stuck up, you were sad and alone and shy and I mean, have you seen yourself? You're a little intimidating. Thanks to meeee, you pulled the stick out and had some fun, and let everyone know that you're really great."

Regina felt her ego inflate under Emma's praise, and acknowledged the information with a quiet hum.

* * *

 

That week, the amount of schoolwork they had to do picked up, so Regina found herself spending her free periods in the library doing research for essays and other assignments. Her first day there, she befriended the assistant librarian, whose name was Belle French. She had dark hair and a thick Australian accent. She was warm and friendly and a total bookworm, so she of course had a hundred questions about Henry Mills. Regina answered tentatively at first, figuring that was the only reason Belle was talking to her. To her surprise, Belle veered off the topic of her father fairly quickly, and started to talk about other things. Australia, the ocean, how she'd had to adjust to the climate as well, and how much she enjoyed classical music and had read hundreds of books.

Naturally, she and Regina had quite a lot in common, and they became fast friends. The library soon became a place that Regina began to frequent more often, even when she didn't need to do research.

There were no more parties as her peers buckled down to focus on school work, and that was fine with her. Regina had sworn last Sunday, while the loud hum of the vacuum seemed to be splitting her hungover head open, that she was never going to drink again.

People began to talk about getting their licenses, and more and more people began to drive to school in their new (or used) rides, Emma included.

"Hey, Regina!" Emma yelled down the hallway after she'd missed that morning's algebra class. Regina stopped in her tracks as she was headed to her second period English class and turned to see the excited blonde sprinting to catch up with her. She had a card in her hand, and when she got close enough, she started waving it around. "I got it! I passed my driving test!"

She shoved the license into Regina's hands and Regina laughed at the ear-to-ear grin on Emma's face in the photo. "Congratulations," she said before handing it back. Emma beamed at her and placed her license in her backpack before asking, "So, when are you getting yours?"

Regina blushed. "Uh, I…I haven't even gotten my permit yet. I've never driven a car." Emma's jaw dropped. "No way. I'll teach you!"

Regina tried to argue, but Emma wouldn't hear it. So after school that day, Regina found herself sitting in the most awful-looking yellow Volkswagen Beetle she'd ever seen, listening to Emma praise it over and over. "I saved up for her," Emma was saying. "It was the main reason I got a job at Granny's. It's just been sitting in this old guy's yard, and he didn't want much for it. Nothing was wrong with her, except she needed new brakes and a new throttle body, which my foster dad-he's a mechanic-fixed up for me. Isn't she beautiful?"

Regina thought it was an obnoxious metal rust bucket, but she found herself grinning at Emma and saying, "Y-yeah. It's not bad." Which, of course, Emma saw right through and laughed. "I know the color isn't for everyone, and she's old…but she's my first car! I'm a driver now! Now we can ride to school instead of walk."

And Regina had to admit, the idea of riding to and from school with Emma every day, even inside this atrocity, was a pleasing thought.

Regina and Emma didn't really get a lot of time together. Emma was in only one of her classes, and besides lunch, the only time Regina saw her was when they walked to and from school. She had been thinking of asking her parents if she could have Emma stay over one night, as she'd had sleepovers back in California, but she hesitated. Were they too old for sleepovers? Did Emma feel uncomfortable being in her house? She'd mentioned that she wasn't ready to meet Regina's parents, and Regina didn't want to put pressure on her, so she settled with what little time she could get.

The driving lesson went terribly. Regina stalled the car over and over, screeched when it started to roll forward in neutral, confused the clutch with the brake and the brake with the gas pedal so many times, Emma finally put a stop to it. "We'll work on it," she promised a red-faced and ashamed Regina. "Maybe you should, I don't know…sign up for a driving class and get your permit. That way an instructor could teach you too."

So Regina had gone home and asked her parents if she could enroll in a driver's education class, and they'd granted her permission after some deliberating. Now, three times a week, Regina stayed after school for that class and saw Emma even less.

Finally, with cold October winds and the most amazing changes in foliage that Regina had ever seen, fall break rolled around.

Cora had bought a small shop in downtown Storybrooke in which to start her boutique, and Regina spent most of the break helping her mother set up shop. She put price tags on clothing and accessories, organized the shelves and racks, took inventory of every item, and showed her mother how to add the new shop to the Queen of Hearts website (she'd always had her assistants do it before) and helped put up "Now Hiring" signs outside the shop.

To her surprise, ten people put in applications on the first day, and she recognized quite a few of the applicants as her friends from school. So then, Cora grilled her about each person's capabilities, personalities and fashion sense. Eventually Regina had had enough and told her mother to just call in some interviews and pick people herself. Cora snapped back with "Well, whoever I choose will end up working here with  _you_ , so you'd best let me know who you get along with."

Yes, Regina had agreed to work part-time at the boutique for her mother after school and on weekends. Cora had insisted upon it because Regina needed "work experience", and what better way to get that than to work for a world-renowned brand? Regina couldn't disagree, and thanked her mother for the opportunity.

And that's also how Lily Drake and Belle French were hired to work for Queen of Hearts.

Toward the end of fall break, Regina felt more exhausted than she should be, considering there was no "break" for her at all between practicing her saxophone for the upcoming holiday concerts and state performances, and working at Queen of Hearts.

And then, on one rainy Saturday afternoon, Regina looked up from where she was unpacking new shipments of clothing as she heard the bell over the door ring, and saw Emma striding in. "Hey!" greeted the blonde. "Nice place you got here."

Regina smiled and stood, and Emma's eyes nearly popped out of her head. "That your mom's stuff?" She asked as she raked her eyes down Regina's form. Regina blushed and ran her palms nervously over her stomach. She was clothed in a stylish gray dress that hugged her developing curves, and on her feet were a pair of stilettos. "Yeah," she replied. "We have to wear the clothing and jewelry here, to uh, promote the brand."

Emma let out a low whistle. "I like it. You look like you belong in an executive office somewhere. CEO Regina Mills," she joked. Regina rolled her eyes and felt her face heating up.

"Regina Mills, it is completely unprofessional to roll our eyes at customers!"

The girls started as Cora breezed into the room with a handful of customized bracelets draped over her fingers, to be placed in the display case at the front of the store, a stern look upon her face as she shot a glare at her daughter. "Welcome to Queen of Hearts, dear, what can we help you with today?"

Emma turned beet red and stuttered, "Uh, I'm..uh, not here to shop, ma'am. I just dropped by to see Regina. Lily told me she was working today."

"Ah, yes," Cora nodded, "Lily. One of my more  _promising_  saleswomen." Regina had the decency to bow her head abashedly. It was true. Lily was proving her ability to sell ice to Eskimos. She had more sales under her belt in the week that the shop had been open than either Regina or Belle had. Of course, the clothing and accessories practically sold themselves, but Lily had a damn good eye and was able to help people find their most flattering colors and styles for themselves.

"And who are you?" Cora asked then. Emma remembered her manners and introduced herself. "I'm Emma Swan, ma'am. I, uh, am Regina's friend."

Cora smiled brilliantly then. "Oh, yes!" she exclaimed. "You're the darling girl who sent me a message that night at the bonfire, when my daughter displayed her irresponsibility. Nice to finally meet you." She laid the bracelets carefully down on a nearby table and reached for Emma's hand, clasping it between both of her own. "And aren't you simply marvelous? You have quite the bone structure. You'd look excellent in my clothing."

Emma was looking extremely uncomfortable, and Regina was desperately fighting back her laughter. "Thank you," Emma squeaked out. "Your clothes are…wow. I don't think I could really afford much of it, though."

Cora waved a hand dismissively. "I will have plenty of sales soon. Each season brings its own new look, so you'll be able to grab a discount before long. Of course, you could always come and apply for a job here. One outfit per season is complimentary to my employees."

"Uh, thank you," Emma repeated, even the tips of her ears reddening now. "I, uh, I work at Granny's diner, and I don't think I could work two jobs without interfering with my school work."

"Granny's, eh? I do adore that little diner. What's your position there?"

Regina went back to work as her mother interrogated Emma, until she overheard Cora say, "Well you are a delight, Miss Swan. I must insist that you come over for dinner tonight, I know my daughter adores you and my husband would be overjoyed to talk baseball with someone besides Regina. Seven o'clock?"

Regina scrambled back to where they were standing and stuttered. "M-mother, I'm sure Emma is…busy, tonight…"

Emma gave her a strange look and replied, "Noo, I'm free. I'd love to come over for dinner! I'll be there. Thank you for the invite."

Satisfied, Cora bade her goodbye and disappeared into the back room once more, leaving Emma and Regina standing in an awkward silence.

Finally, Emma spoke. "Did you… _not_ want me to come over? Have I done something?" Regina shook her head quickly before speaking in a low tone, "My mother  _cannot_  cook, and I thought you uncomfortable with meeting my parents…I didn't want you to feel pressured."

Emma giggled. "I've had my share of horrible meals, Regina. And your mom is…kind of intense, but I like her. I'm sure your dad is awesome too. I've been waiting for you to invite me over."

Something akin to an electric shock jolted through Regina at those words. "You have?" she asked incredulously. Emma shrugged. "Well, yeah. We don't get to see each other a lot, and even August has been over to your place more than once." She said the last sentence almost hurtfully.

It was true. Regina had gotten August's number from Emma and given it to her father, explaining that he was an aspiring author who would love some tips and advice. Henry had called August immediately, and Regina had heard August's exuberant agreement to meet Henry for coffee. Since then, August had stopped by nearly every weekend to have brunch and bring examples of his work for Henry to look over.

"August is Daddy's friend more than mine, Emma," Regina assured her. "You've never invited me over either, I didn't know we had…that kind of friendship, yet."

Emma's face fell at that, and Regina wondered what it was she'd said wrong. Before she could ask, Emma's cell phone rang. "'Scuse me," she said before turning away to answer. Regina immediately heard a man's voice yelling on the line, and Emma quietly said, "No, I'm sorry. I'm at Regina's mom's new shop in town. I forgot. I'm sorry. I'll be right there. Sorry." She hung up the phone and turned back to Regina, her bright eyes unusually dull. "That was my foster dad. I was supposed to help him with something today, and I forgot. I'll see you at dinner?"

Regina nodded, still concerned. Emma hesitated, looking like she wanted to say more, before turning to leave. Before her courage failed her, Regina called after her, "Would you like to stay the night tonight?"

Emma whirled around as she reached the door, eyes bright and smile wide. "I'd love to." With that, the blonde disappeared out the door.

And Regina was all smiles for the rest of the day.

* * *

 

Emma lasted all of five minutes before jumping in to help Cora with dinner. It was adorable, really. She and Regina were sitting at the island, watching Cora attempt to make pizza dough. It was thick and crumbly and not at all what it was supposed to be, and Cora had taken to practically whacking at it with a rolling pin. Emma finally hopped up and offered, "Hey, I've made loads of homemade pizzas. Can I help?" Cora tried to wave her off at first, saying, "No, no, dear, you're our guest. I'll figure this out."

"It's not a problem. I love to cook," Emma insisted, and began to instruct Cora on how to make the dough properly. Regina watched from her place at the island, a grin on her face.

Emma had arrived at six, pretty much the second she saw Regina and Cora come home from the shop. She brought over a duffel bag and was looking beautiful in a pair of nice jeans and an off-shoulder top. Her hair, which had been damp from the rain when she came into Queen of Hearts, was dry and pulled back into a high ponytail. Regina quickly introduced her to Henry, who skipped the handshake and pulled the stunned blonde girl into a hug, welcoming her into their house.

"Henry Mills just hugged me," Emma whispered dazedly to Regina after he'd retreated back into his study. Regina just shook her head and laughed.

Thanks to Emma, Regina sat down to not only her first edible home meal since moving, but an amazingly flavorful one. She'd piled the pizza dough high with cheese and an assortment of vegetables, and the finished product practically melted in their mouths. The entire pizza was eaten in under twenty minutes, and the house was filled with laughter as Cora told stories of her youth, and how she met Henry and how he'd seduced her with his Spanish poetry. Henry then regaled them with the tales of his life before coming to America, and how he got his first novel published. He then let Emma in on a little secret: "I'm almost finished with my next novel, it's being edited now. I'll let you know the release date, maybe Regina can bring you to the party!"

Emma's eyes went wide. "I would love to! I love your books, and I've never been to anything that fancy…I would love to go. If Regina wants me to." She cast a glance at Regina, who smiled and opened her mouth to speak, but was immediately interrupted by her mother.

"Of course Regina would love to bring you. She adores you, and it's plain to see why. You are not only a stunning beauty, but you're responsible and educated and obviously a good friend. You must come over more often. There hasn't been this much laughter in our house in months."

Which, for some reason, brought a flare of heat to Regina's cheeks.

After helping Cora clean up the kitchen, Emma and Regina retreated to Regina's bedroom. They stood their awkwardly for a second before Regina asked, "Well, what do you want to do now?"

"Well," Emma began, eyeing Regina's canopy bed. "I'll tell you what I've wanted to do ever since I saw your bedroom."

Without another word, Emma crossed the room and plopped down on Regina's bed, moaning almost instantly. "Oh, my God. I knew it!" she exclaimed, "This is the most comfortable bed I've ever laid on. How do you get up in the mornings?"

Chuckling and trying in vain to get the sound of Emma's moan out of her head, where it had apparently taken residence, Regina replied, "It is a chore, sometimes." She sat down at the foot of the bed by Emma's sock-clad feet and slowly laid back horizontally on her mattress.

"We need music," Emma declared, moving from the bed to her duffel bag, where she pulled out her laptop. Sitting back down on the bed, she opened it up and turned it on. "What music do you like?" she asked Regina, who was now leaning up with her head balanced on her hand. "I generally listen to classical," Regina admitted. "Some Aretha Franklin, a little bit of Frank Sinatra too."

Emma made a face. "I don't have anything like that in my iTunes. Ever heard of the band Garbage?" Regina's brow crinkled. "Why would anyone listen to a band with that name? It sounds like a warning," she deadpanned. Emma poked her hip with her toe and laughed, "It's my favorite band of all time. I discovered them back when I was about eleven, and I swear, Shirley Manson-that's the singer-is my spirit animal. You have to listen to some of their songs with me."

Music began to play, a deep, dirty bass and drums signaling the beginning of the song. "This one is my favorite," Emma said. "Listen."

And to Regina's shock and awe, Emma turned the music up and began to sing along with the song.

" _She's not the kind of girl_

_Who likes to tell the world_

_About the way she feels about herself_

_She takes a little time_

_In making up her mind_

_She doesn't want to fight against the tide."_

Emma's voice was as beautiful as she was, Regina realized. It was deep and rich and clear, and held an emotion she hadn't heard in Emma's tone before. She stared with wide eyes, unable to take her gaze away from her friend as the song went on.

" _Always the one who has to drag her down_

_Maybe you'll get what you want this time around_

_Can't bear to face the truth_

_So sick, he cannot move_

_And when it hurts he takes it out on you."_

Regina's brow furrowed. Emma had said this was her favorite band, and that the singer was her "spirit animal." That meant, to Regina, that Emma connected with these songs. Just how personal were they to her? She was such a happy girl, and this was such a…sad song. She finally looked away from Emma and closed her eyes, focusing on the song even more.

" _She knows the human heart_

_And how to read the stars_

_Now everything's about to fall apart."_

Emma sang until the very end, her voice fading away with the last few bars, repeating the same line over and over:

" _The trick is to keep breathing."_

When the song faded, Regina opened her eyes and watched Emma do the same, before the blonde started laughing. "I'm sorry, I wanted you to listen to the song, not me singing it. I just can't help but sing along when their songs play."

"No," Regina said, reaching out a hand to place on Emma's knee. "Your voice is beautiful. And that song wasn't garbage at all. Such a misleading name," she grouched. Emma giggled and pumped her fist in the air. "Yes! I knew you'd love them. Not all the songs are that sad, though. Here, this one's a good one."

An upbeat punk-esque song began to play, and Regina once more focused on Emma singing the lyrics. This time, however, she found herself growing warm as a blush crept into her cheeks. The lyrics were…wow.

" _I don't feel guilty_

_No matter what they're telling me_

_I won't feel dirty and buy into their misery_

_I won't be shamed 'cause I believe that love is free_

_It fuels the heart, and sex is not the enemy."_

About halfway through the song, Emma noticed that her brunette friend was practically the shade of an overripe tomato. "I'm impressed," she said over the music. "I didn't know Latinas could blush that much."

Regina buried her face in her arm and her body began to quake with suppressed laughter. "I'm sorry," she mumbled into her comforter.

"Does this make you uncomfortable?"

Regina didn't know how to answer. The words in the forefront of her mind were,  _hearing your gorgeous voice singing about sex and love and being free with your body, make me uncomfortable? Maybe slightly._

But what she finally said was, "There you go again, thinking I'm uncomfortable all the time." And then she felt the force of a pillow hitting the back of her head. Sitting up in shock, she stared at Emma. "Did you just throw a pillow at me?" she exclaimed. Emma stuck her tongue out. "Sure did. Maybe you should have sex with someone, Mills, you'd be less uptight for awhile at least."

Regina flung the pillow back at Emma's face, laughing victoriously as it connected with her face. "Oh, that's  _it_ , _"_ Emma growled, setting her laptop down as it went on to the next sad-sounding song and arming herself with the offending pillow. Regina squeaked and dove for the other pillow she kept on her bed, holding it in front of her face like a shield. "Don't you  _dare_ , Emma Swan, these pillows aren't cheap!"

Emma apparently took that as a challenge, and Regina found herself in a furious pillow fight.

She forgot about her embarrassment as she and Emma bashed each other over and over again. Finally exhausted, they collapsed back down on the bed, breathing heavily. "I have never been in a pillow fight before," Regina confessed, giggling.

"I've not been in one in years, but I'm so glad I started that, I get to see prim and proper CEO-wannabe Mills with her braid all messed up and her face all sweaty. You don't look so uptight anymore." Emma whopped her one more time in the face, making her splutter in protest, before standing up and stretching. "Do you mind if I take a shower, Regina?" she asked then, reaching into her bag for her pajamas.

Regina's brain was still reeling. Some things that Emma said, in the way she said them, sent Regina off-kilter and made her feel things, unfamiliar things, that disconcerted her.

"Yo, Mills. You home?"

Regina snapped to reality and nodded. "Sure, yeah, sorry. Towels are in the cabinet by the shower." Emma disappeared into the en-suite bathroom, carrying her clothes, soaps and lotions with her. "Be back in a bit," she said. "Listen to a few more songs. I can tell you like my style." She winked and closed the bathroom door behind her.

Regina continued to lay there as she heard the shower turn on, her mind in a muddle. How did Emma always manage to trip her up? The things she said, the way she sometimes looked at Regina, gave her that weird fluttering sensation in her stomach and fogged up her brain. If Regina didn't know any better, she'd think she was developing a crush on Emma Swan.

Whoa. Was she developing a crush on Emma?

 _No, it's not possible. I'm not gay, am I?_ Regina wondered. It's true, the blonde girl was beautiful, smart, funny, and talented. She brightened Regina's days just by existing. It was also true that sometimes she did things that took Regina's breath away, like twirling a bit of her golden hair around her finger when she was deep in thought, or biting her lip when she was trying to suppress a smile. When she smiled in general…when those intense green eyes locked with Regina's and Regina felt like she could drown in their depths…

_I have a crush on Emma Swan._

The truth hit Regina like a pile of bricks.

Desperate to get out of her head, she tries to focus on the lyrics of the song that's playing now:

" _You come on like a drug_

_I just can't get enough_

_I'm like an addict coming at you for a little more_

_And there's so much at stake_

_I can't afford to waste_

_I've never needed anybody like this before."_

"That's quite enough, I think," Regina declared, leaning over to pause the music that wasn't helping her mental state at all. "Oh, God," she moaned and buried her face in her hands.

It was too much. Regina had moved completely across the country, had her entire life uprooted, had met this infuriatingly charismatic blonde beauty, had gotten drunk for the first time, was buried up to her eyebrows in school work and music to learn,  _and_  working a part-time job selling her mother's clothes. And now, not only was she thinking about romance for the first time, but she was thinking about romance with a  _girl._  A girl with eyes like the sea and hair like the sun and the voice of an angel…

"Why'd you stop the music? Are you okay?" came Emma's voice as the bathroom door opened. The smell of warm vanilla and cinnamon wafted out into the room and invaded Regina's nostrils.  _And she smells heavenly, isn't that just the icing on the cake,_ thought Regina before replying, "Everything is fine, Emma." And before she thought about exactly what she was saying, she continued, "The song hit just a little close to home, is all. They're a very…relatable band."

Emma grinned. She was dressed in a pair of black pajama pants and a tight tank top, and her damp hair hung in loose curls over her shoulders. Regina noticed that she'd forgone her bra and quickly averted her eyes as Emma crossed over to examine her laptop. "Oh, 'Temptation Waits', huh?  _That's_ the song that hits too close to home?"

If Regina could kick herself in the ass without raising questions, she would. "Uh…"

"You crushing on someone, Regina? All right, dish."

"Excuse me?"

Emma quirked an eyebrow as she hit play again. "The song," she explained slowly. "It's about being addicted to someone. So, who is it? This is a sleepover, we're supposed to talk about this sort of thing." She hopped on to the bed and crossed her legs. "Girl talk, you know?"

_Over my dead body._

"Just because society says we're supposed to do something doesn't mean we have to," she supplied lamely. Emma made a raspberry noise and rolled her eyes. "Didn't take you for a societal deviant. Come on. Tell me who you have a crush on. I'll tell you mine."

Regina's heart sank to her toes. "Oh, you like someone?" she asked. Emma shrugged. "A little, I guess. So you tell me first."

"It's no one. I must have misheard the lyrics."

Emma leaned back against headboard and crossed her arms. "You're full of shit, Regina. Those lyrics are clear as day. Is it August?"

Regina gaped at her. " _What?_  No! Why?" Emma saw the look of horror on her face and laughed. "I was just curious. He's over here all the time, you know."

"And like I said, he's more Daddy's friend than mine. We've talked maybe twice. And it was to say 'hi' and 'bye' both times. Who do you like?"

Emma's clear green eyes met hers and seemed to bore right into her. She squirmed under the scrutiny. "Are we good enough friends for that information, Mills?" she questioned dryly.

Regina couldn't help but feel like they were about to fight, over something so trivial as who they had crushes on. "Emma, I don't have a crush on anyone."

Emma leaned forward and stared harder into Regina's eyes. They were inches apart, and Regina was bombarded with her delicious scent again. "Let me tell you a secret about myself, Gina," Emma said, "I have this…well, I call it my superpower. I can tell when someone's lying to me. And you are lying. So why won't you tell me?"

Regina was backed into a corner. "I am not comfortable talking about it Emma," she admitted. Emma stared at her a moment longer, then sat back.

"Neal wants me to go on a date with him," she sighed then. Regina's jaw dropped before she could stop it.  _Neal_  was Emma's crush? "What? I thought you guys were…best friends."

"We are, that's why it feels weird. I mean, we do everything together, I hang out with him a lot and we don't have secrets from each other"-she looked pointedly at Regina when she said this- "But I've never really thought about  _dating_  him. I guess it would make sense, though. He says people even have a bet going on as to how long it will take for us to get together."

Regina frowned. "That's pretty presumptuous. You surely aren't okay with that."

Emma ran her fingers through her hair and huffed. "No, and I mean…I've always been 'one of the guys', I didn't even think Neal liked me that way."

Regina tilted her head as a thought sprang to the front of her mind. "You said you had a crush on someone. It's not Neal, then, is it? Why date Neal when you like someone else?"

Emma smiled grimly and mumbled, "The person I'm interested in…is out of my league. And probably not…it doesn't matter. You won't tell me yours, so you don't get to hear mine."

She jumped up from the bed then and said, "This is getting depressing. Wanna do something else? It's only like, nine-thirty." Regina nodded and said, "Why don't you look through my movies and find something to watch? I need to shower and then we can go down and find something to snack on. Sound good?"

"Movie and snack time? Hell yes."

While Emma was going through Regina's movie collection, Regina grabbed some clean clothes and made her way to the bathroom. Her heart was pounding in her ears.  _Neal._ Of course, it made sense. Star baseball player, dating the star softball player, two beautiful, athletic people. The thought sickened Regina.

She showered quickly, shaved her legs, and then stepped out to dry off. As she was applying her favorite lotion, she stared at herself in the mirror. She was pretty enough, she supposed. Her olive skin was still tanned from the California sun, and she had started to exit that awkward in-between phase that came from puberty. Her breasts, while small, were firm and round, her stomach was flat despite not having much muscle tone. Her hips had begun to flare out and give her a more curvy look. She turned slightly to the side and grimaced. Her butt was big. That was a down side, but she supposed it came with her heritage. Sighing in defeat, she leaned forward and studied her face. Her eyes were large and a deep chocolate brown, so different from the bright pools of green that belonged to the girl currently waiting for her in her bedroom. Her nose was straight and her lips full. No, she wasn't ugly. The only thing that marred her face was the deep scar on her upper lip, which she'd gotten from an unfortunate accident involving her clarinet, her mother's high heels and a stupid Roomba when she was ten. Regina rolled her eyes at the and stepped back from the mirror, dressing quickly in the clothes she'd brought with her: a pair of plaid pajama pants and a spaghetti-strap top. It didn't matter what she looked like, Emma wasn't interested in her like that. She felt ridiculous now for studying herself in the mirror. Quickly, she moisturized her face and combed out her hip-length hair before exiting the bathroom.

Emma was fiddling with the television that sat on Regina's dresser, setting up the movie. "What did you pick?" Regina asked conversationally. Emma turned around to reply, and froze for a moment before blurting, "Wow."

Regina crossed her arms in front of her chest self-consciously and raised her eyebrows. "What?" she asked. Emma shook her head. "It's nothing. You just…don't wear your hair down, ever. Usually in a bun or a braid. The only time I've seen it down was the night at the bonfire, and it was dark then. It's beautiful."

Regina felt a blush creeping up her neck to her cheeks, and she turned her head and forced out a cough. "Thanks," she said, then changed the subject. "Want to go see what we have to eat?"

"Absolutely," Emma said, clapping her hands together. Together, they made their way downstairs, past Regina's parents who were watching a movie of their own in the sitting room, and into the kitchen.

Ten minutes later, they were back upstairs, sitting Indian-style on Regina's bed with a large bowl of popcorn and two bottles of water in front of them. Emma pressed play, and Regina frowned when the title screen came on. "This isn't one of mine," she stated, confused. Emma nudged her with her shoulder and winked. "You have nothing but classic romances and chick flicks. I guessed as much, so I brought a few of my own. Have you ever even watched 'Kill Bill'?"

"Um, certainly not. What even is this?"

"Oh, you're going to love it," Emma declared as the movie began. She grabbed the bowl of popcorn and leaned back against the headboard, motioning for Regina to do the same. Once they were settled shoulder-to-shoulder, they dug into the popcorn and began to watch.

Fifteen minutes later, Regina stated, "Emma, this is ridiculous."

"Shhhhhh."

Regina lost her appetite not long after that, and watched as Emma continued to eat almost mindlessly. How she could even eat while watching this…gore-fest was beyond Regina's comprehension.

Finally, the credits rolled and Regina heaved a sigh of relief, which had Emma laughing at her immediately. "Oh come on, that's a classic," she whined. Regina shot her an incredulous look. "Whatever you say."

Emma sobered up and said, "Damn, Regina…I'm sorry. I thought you'd like it. Do you want to pick something to watch now or do you want to go to bed?"

Regina looked at her bedside clock. It was after midnight, but that… _movie…_ had Regina antsy and disgusted. "I think I could stay up in order to wipe those images from my mind," she said. She walked over to her closet and pulled out "Casablanca."

"Here, she said, putting it in the DVD player. "Have you ever watched Casablanca?" At Emma's head shake, Regina smiled wide. "Good. Then we both get to experience something new to us tonight." She sat back down and pressed play.

And she watched with warm amusement as Emma was lost in the movie. She slowly worked her way to the foot of the bed until she was lying on her stomach, staring intently and focused entirely on what was happening on screen…and providing Regina with a pleasing view of her toned back and slightly rounded behind. Immediately feeling like a complete pervert, Regina moved to where she was laying on her stomach beside Emma, and together they watched the movie, until Regina's eyes began to droop and she drifted off, the sounds of "Casablanca" in her ears and Emma's now-familiar scent of vanilla and cinnamon in her nose.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, guys. I feel really stupid, because apparently I've been out of school so long I forgot how old people are in their sophomore year. Haha...so, I'll be making some changes. Regina and Emma are in their JUNIOR year of high school, meaning they're 16, turning 17 during the school year. So I'll be going back and, for instance, changing their math class. Junior year was trigonometry for me, so I'll change their algebra class to a trig class and such. I'm SUPER sorry about my brain blip. Hope it's not too confusing. Hope you all enjoy this chapter!

Regina's cell phone woke her up the next morning. Groggily she rolled out of bed and grabbed her phone from her night stand. "Hello?" she asked the second she'd flipped it open, not bothering to look at the caller ID.

" _Regina, are you aware that it has now been an entire semester since you have called me? I get that you were depressed and all, but I'm your supposed_ best friend _."_

Oh, God. Regina felt like the worst friend in history.

"Zelena…what are you doing up at…" -she checked her clock, it was after eleven in the morning- "Is it seven or eight in Cali?"

" _Who the hell cares what time it is? I haven't heard from you since you_ moved _. You could have died in a plane crash for all I knew._ "

Regina rolled her eyes. "Communication is a two-way street, you know."

" _I was giving you time. Figured you'd call, but apparently you forgot about me."_

Regina rubbed her tired eyes, darting a glance at the still-sleeping blonde on her bed. "I'm sorry, Z. I really am. Everything has been kind of a whirlwind since I moved."

" _Well, are you going to fill me in? How is Maine? Is it as drab and boring as we feared?"_

Regina found herself admiring the peaceful look on Emma's sleeping face and smiled to herself. "Drab, sometimes. It rains a lot. Definitely not boring."

She took a moment to fill her best friend in on the key points of her new life in Storybrooke, keeping her voice soft as she walked into the bathroom so she wouldn't wake Emma.

Zelena was a fiery-haired girl with a matching personality who had moved from London to California with her family when she was eight. She and Regina had become fast friends and soon become inseparable…until Zelena had discovered boys at the age of thirteen. She and Regina had remained close, but not as close as before as Zelena began to chase potential boyfriends, and Regina had had no interest in that whatsoever. At least now, she had a vague idea as to why.

Halfway through her story about the bonfire party, Zelena interrupted her.  _"Why are you being so quiet? Regina, you tramp! You have someone over!"_

Regina rolled her eyes. "Yes, Z, I have my friend Emma over…the one I just told you about. She spent the night last night."

" _Oh, how I do miss our sleepovers. Did you force her to watch Casablanca with you yet?"_

Ignoring the last question completely, Regina sighed, "Are you going to let me finish telling you about the bonfire or not?"

" _You did. You forced Casablanca on her. You are aware that if she hated it, you can't be friends, right?"_

Finally, Zelena halted her teasing and listened to the rest of Regina's tale, and at the end she squealed in delight.  _"How many times have I broke into Dad's brandy, daring you to drink some with me? And this Emma girl gets you to drink within a matter of days? Maine really has been good for you. I'm jealous."_

Regina smiled widely. "I think it has, Zelena. I miss the sunshine, but…the people here are nice. I've made quite a few friends. You should come visit sometime. I'm sure Daddy could get you a plane ticket this summer if you want."

" _Personally, I would love to. You know the California sun is absolute hell on my skin. I'll talk to Mum and Dad and see what I can do."_

"Did you know I'm learning to drive?"

" _WHAT?!"_

Regina talked with Zelena awhile longer, taking the time to ask about Cali and what Z had been up to-mostly boy talk, then-and when she hung up the phone and exited the bathroom, she found Emma already dressed in jeans and a Storybrooke High sweatshirt, and she was packing her things in her duffel bag. "That was my friend in California…sorry if I woke you. Aren't you staying for breakfast?" Regina asked.

Emma glanced at the clock and giggled, "Don't you mean lunch?" She stretched and yawned. "I'm glad your friend called, or I probably could have slept all day. I couldn't sleep until that movie was over. I blame you. It was actually  _really_ good. I can see why you wouldn't like Kill Bill very much."

Regina grimaced at the memory of that awful film and responded, "Indeed."

"I'd love to stay longer, Gina, but I have an afternoon shift at the diner today. If I don't get going, I'm going to be late. And don't worry about lunch, Granny will feed me before my shift starts. She knows I work best on a full stomach."

And then, to Regina's surprise, Emma enveloped her in a hug. Regina suddenly became very aware of every point of contact her body had with Emma's, and she tentatively hugged her friend back for a moment before clearing her throat and backing away. "What's that for?" She asked shyly. Emma grinned at her. "I had a great time. We should do sleepovers more often. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"All right. I'll see you out."

"Sweet."

* * *

Second semester started that Monday, and Regina was pleased that she now had three classes with Emma and therefore got to see her friend more.

But seeing Emma more often also caused those strange butterfly sensations in Regina's stomach more often. The sensation began to bother her, so she started going to the library for research.

Belle walked in on her one Friday after school after everyone else had already gone home or to their jobs for the day (It was Lily's day to work the boutique) as she was buried nose deep in a book of Sappho's poetry. She didn't hear Belle come up behind her until she heard her thick accent exclaim quietly, "Oh, I  _love_ that book!"

"Jesus!" Regina squeaked in an uncharacteristic curse, the book nearly flying from her hands. She'd been hiding it behind one of her textbooks, and hadn't expected anyone to approach from behind to see what she was really reading. "Belle! You startled me!"

"I'm sorry!" Belle laughed. She took a seat next to Regina at the table and folded her hands together. "Want to tell me why you're hiding The Complete Poems of Sappho behind your Biology book?"

"No," Regina groaned, knowing that she'd been absolutely, one-hundred percent caught. "I don't know." But in a way, Regina was glad Belle was there. Belle was one of the gentlest, kindest people she knew, and if her secret were to come out to anyone, she knew Belle would be someone she could trust.

"Sexuality is nothing to be ashamed of, you know," Belle whispered to her. "And if you're curious about feelings you're having, Sappho is the one to read. She's one of the most passionate poets in history. Do you…have any questions? I've read them all, and in my senior literature class last semester, I did a biography report on her."

Regina looked back down at the page she was reading, and the words swam in front of her vision, before she whispered out loud,

" _If I meet_

_You suddenly, I can't_

_Speak-my tongue is broken;_

_A thin flame runs under_

_My skin; seeing nothing,_

_Hearing only my own ears_

_Drumming, I drip with sweat;_

_Trembling shakes my body_

_And I turn paler than_

_Dry grass. At such times_

_Death isn't far from me."_

Belle was smiling at her when she finally looked up, the most gentle smile she'd ever seen on the girl's friendly face. "That one resonates with you," she deciphered. Regina nodded, feeling naïve and still wondering if she should just keep her mouth shut and walk away. Belle sensed her discomfort and reached over to cover Regina's hand with her own. "You feel that way for someone," she guessed.

Regina's eyes welled with tears. She felt so overwhelmed and undereducated. "How do I know, though?" she blurted out, while keeping her voice low. "How do I know what I feel is just a stupid crush that will pass, or maybe just an over attachment to a new friend, or if I'm actually…." Her voice trailed off.

"Actually interested in women? Or, one woman in particular?" supplied Belle quietly. At Regina's slow nod, Belle sighed. "I can't tell you that, sweetie. Only you know how you feel. But don't worry, I won't tell anyone. That's for you to do."

"Hey, Regina!" came a sudden, louder voice as Emma rounded the bookshelf. "There you are!"

"Quiet, please," Belle shushed her. "Even after hours, this is still a library."

Emma pulled a face at her, making her laugh and shake her head, then plopped down next to Regina on the other side of the table. "Whatcha reading?" Emma inquired, looking suspiciously at the cover of Regina's biology book.

"Nothing," Regina said quickly, shutting the book closed. If Emma noticed the very obvious indent of a second book being squashed between the pages, she didn't comment. Hastily shoving the book-within-a-book into her bag, Regina asked, "What's up?"

"Neal and I are going costume shopping, since Halloween is in like, a week. Wanna come?"

"Oh, no…I haven't dressed up since I was a little girl," Regina declined regretfully. Emma, as usual, wouldn't take no for an answer. She looked to Belle and said, "If I were to hog-tie her and throw her in the back of my Beetle, you wouldn't call the Sheriff, would you?" she whispered conspiratorially. Bella threw her head back and barked out a laugh. "You don't have to worry about me, Emma…but maybe others, depending on how loud she screams."

Regina glared back and forth between the two of them. "No one is  _hog-tying_  me, if they know what's good for them," she stated flatly.

"Not into bondage, Mills? That's a shame," Emma winked, further jabbing at her. Regina's face began to heat up, and her heartbeat quickened at the words.  _No, stop. She's making fun of you, not flirting._

And to her horror, she saw Belle looking between her and Emma, a look of dawning realization on her face. Quickly, Regina stood up and grabbed her bag. "Fine," she acquiesced. "I'll go with you, but only to make sure you don't buy the most stupid costume in the whole store."

Emma fist-pumped in victory, and Regina began to follow her out of the library-until Belle's voice brought her to a halt.

"Uh, Regina? Are you going to check out that book?"

Emma gave Regina a side glance. "What book?" She asked. "You were reading your Biology textbook…"

Regina whirled around and pinned Belle with her best glare. "What book?" she asked, her voice almost threatening in its timbre.

Belle immediately got the hint and said, "My bad. I was mistaken. You guys have fun!"

Emma caught Regina's eyes again, and something on her face told Regina that she was onto her sneaky ways. Regina gulped. She hoped Belle wouldn't be too mad about her secretive stashing of the school's library book. Knowing Belle, she'd go to the computer and check the book out for her. Belle was nothing if not precise in her record-keeping.

* * *

"No way in  _hell."_

Neal and Emma had chosen March Hare and Alice in Wonderland costumes, respectively, and now Emma was brandishing the gaudiest, skimpiest Queen of Hearts costume ever made in front of Regina's face.

Regina's infuriated outburst had both of her friends doubled over in laughter. "Oh, come on, Gina!" Emma pleaded through her laughter, "Your mom would get a kick out of it."

"My mother wouldn't let me out of the  _house_  in something like that, no matter what it's supposed to be."

"That's why you change into your costume  _after_  you leave the house," Emma said, as though she was stating the obvious. "What size are you? Small or medium?"

"I'm not wearing that, and you, Emma Swan, are a bad influence."

Emma threw her blonde curls over her shoulder and twirled a strand of it around her finger in that way that was slowly driving Regina crazy. "Oh, but, Regiiiina, darling, you simply adoooore me," she said in a perfect imitation of Cora Mills. "Oh, stop it," Regina said, laughing now, reaching out to softly slap Emma on the shoulder.

Neal looked between them. "I feel like I've missed something here," he said slowly, which made the girls laugh harder.

When they caught their breath, Regina reiterated, "I'm not wearing that, Emma." Her friend huffed and replaced the costume on its display wall. "Fine," she pouted, then leaned over to whisper in Regina's ear. "Too bad, you would look sexy in it."

And just like that, Regina's pulse quickened and she felt a flip in her stomach…much lower than it usually was. She felt her body growing warm…. _No._

Emma was just teasing her. Regina had found that Emma enjoyed trying to make her blush, make her  _uncomfortable_ , and Regina decided right then and there that she was going to start teasing right back, maybe try to throw  _Emma_  off instead.

"You'll never know," she said boldly. And  _score._  Regina smiled in self-satisfaction when she noticed a faint blush creep into Emma's cheeks. Clearing her throat, Emma looked back to the wall of costumes. "Here!" she said suddenly, standing on her tip-toes to reach a costume higher up. Regina paled at the sight of it.

"Again,  _hell_ no," she hissed.

The white freaking rabbit. Only, on the model in the picture, it looked more like a Playboy Bunny costume.

"Regina, you have to dress up with us," Neal pressured. "Ruby and Lily already bought Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum costumes."

"And what's the point of this theme?" Regina questioned, wrenching the Playboy knockoff costume from Emma's hands and putting it back where it came from, "Aren't we too old to go trick-or-treating?"

Emma smacked her forehead then. "Oh,  _duh_ ," she said, more to herself than anyone else. She reached back and pulled a square piece of paper out of her back pocket. "Here, Gina," she said, handing the paper over. "It's an invitation from Ruby. I was supposed to give it to you since I'm in a few of your classes this semester, and I totally blanked."

Regina took the paper and read it aloud. "You are cordially invited-really?-to the annual Halloween Bash at Granny's Bed and Breakfast, located behind the diner, on Saturday, the 28th of October-"

"Because Halloween is on a Tuesday this year, and that's no fun for anyone," supplied Neal unhelpfully.

"-There will be refreshments, games, and a costume contest. Hope to see you there," Regina finished. "Granny's Bed and Breakfast?" She inquired, glancing at Emma, who nodded. "Yeah. There's this massive room in there, they use it for birthday parties and wedding receptions, and every year Ruby talks Granny into decorating the entire B&B for the bash."

"Oh," Regina said, putting two and two together. "Granny is Ruby's gram?"

"Yeah, you'd know that if you ever came into the diner. What's your aversion to that place, anyway?" Neal asked. "Afraid Emma will give you food poisoning?" He laughed and Emma punched his arm, causing his laughter to turn into a groan of pain.

"No, Emma's cooking is delicious" Regina murmured, "we just don't eat out much. Mother prefers home cooking. She's brought takeout home before, but most nights she attempts to cook. She's dead set on becoming a chef in her late forties, apparently."

"Well, I can help her," Emma declared. "In fact, I might be tempted to leave Granny's if your mom wants to pay me to be your home chef." She elbowed Regina pointedly. "You'd never have to choke down another of your mom's concoctions again. How much would she pay?"

"Good luck," Regina retorted, sidling toward the checkout counter. "Can we go now? You guys have your costumes."

"No, no," Neal chided, grabbing Regina by the elbow and steering her back to the wall of costumes. "You're coming to the bash with us, and you're going to dress up as a Wonderland character so you can help us win the costume contest."

"Ugh, fine," Regina finally gave in, grabbing a random women's Mad Hatter costume off the shelf and tossing it at Emma. It looked modest enough, and came with an overcoat and top hat. "There," she grouched. Emma and Neal high-fived each other.

Regina sighed in defeat.

* * *

" _Whoa."_

It was the day of the Halloween bash, and Emma had come over to Regina's to get ready for the party. Before getting dressed, Regina had applied heavy smoky makeup, a dark red lipstick, and curled her hair. Emma had straightened her naturally curly hair, applied light makeup that, in Regina's opinion, made her eyes even brighter and larger. She'd applied rich pink blush to her cheeks, a light pink lipstick, and put on a blue headband.

Regina had gotten dressed in the bathroom while letting Emma change in her room, and when Regina stepped out in full costume, Emma's jaw dropped.

The costume was even better than Regina had expected. It consisted of a purple and black pin-stripe pencil skirt, a purple and white checkered blouse with a matching bow tie choker, and a teal waistcoat with a long tail, complete with gold lining. A black belt with a gold buckle was cinched tightly around her waist, and she had completed the look with black and white checkered thigh-high socks and knee-high black boots. On top of her wild curls was the infamous Mad Hatter top hat. She hadn't dressed up since she was a little girl, but she felt wild and daring already, just putting this outfit on.

At Emma's stunned stare, Regina smirked and did a little spin. "How's this?" she asked.

Emma let out a low whistle. "Damn, Regina," she whined. "You didn't even  _want_  to dress up, and now you're going to put everyone else to shame."

"Oh, that's not true," Regina purred- _purred? Where did that come from?-_ as she looked Emma up and down. She was dressed in the classic blue dress with a white collar and apron, though the dress only came down to about mid-thigh and was way tighter than the original Alice dress. She had on knee-high white socks and black heels, and Regina's heartbeat quickened as she took in the pale skin of Emma's exposed thighs. Quickly tampering down her attraction for her blonde friend, she quipped, "You look so much more innocent than you are. You'll fool anyone who doesn't know you."

"Oh, ha ha," said Emma weakly, still staring dazedly.

"Are you ready? I think the party is about to start," Regina said, her smirk growing into a grin. Whether or not Emma was attracted to girls, Regina still didn't know. But she was absolutely certain this Halloween costume was flattering on her, and it was having some kind of effect on Emma. She counted that as a win.

Cora stopped them on the way out with her camera in-hand, demanding pictures of Regina's first Halloween in Storybrooke. The girls acquiesced, standing side by side with their hands on each other's waists, smiling at the camera. Cora snapped the picture, then reached over to fix one of Regina's unruly curls. "You two look amazing. I think we know who will win the contest this year," she said proudly. "Go have fun, and Regina, you make  _smart choices._ "

"Yes, ma'am," Regina agreed. No way was she making the same mistake twice.

"Don't worry, Mrs. Mills," Emma chirped as they stepped out onto the front porch. "I'll keep her in line."

As the front door closed, Emma grinned evilly at Regina, who rolled her eyes. "Bad influence," she whispered.

"If anything, you look like the bad influence tonight, Gina," Emma teased, bumping her hip to Regina's. "Let's go."

Regina got into the passenger seat of Emma's Beetle and then they were off.

Emma hadn't been kidding when she told Regina the B&B would be completely decked out for Halloween. Orange and green lights hung from the siding and every window, the walkway up to the building was decorated with graves, gigantic rubber spiders, ghouls hanging from the trees, and a fog machine hidden in the bushes was filling the area with a heavy layer of synthetic fog. Eerie music wafted out at them from a loudspeaker, punctuated with dark laughter and wails.

They stepped up to the door to find a man in a full zombie-butler outfit, covered in fake blood. "Velcome," he growled at them, opening the door, "To ze Halloveen bash."

"Hey, Frank," Emma greeted cheerfully, unfazed. "You do know you're supposed to be a zombie, not Dracula, right? You gotta work on that, buddy."

"Hey, Emma," the zombie butler said grumpily. "I'll work on it."

"Good man."

As they entered the inn, Regina noticed more Halloween lights and decorations highlighting the way to the party room. When they entered, Regina found herself completely impressed.

The room was already half full of costumed people. Someone had lined the walls and ceiling with black sheets, and splattered glow-in-the-dark paint all over them. She spotted random words among the splatters, such as "get out", "beware" and "don't look behind you." There was a line of tables set up along one wall, covered in plates of Halloween-themed snacks and punch bowls. Black-light bulbs had replaced the regular bulbs in the overhanging chandeliers, casting a purple-white glow around the room and making bright colored costumes and makeup even brighter. Regina noticed the whites of her own costume seemed to glow as well. There were also two disco balls and a light projector added to bring more color and light to the room. A DJ had taken up residence on a platform in the middle of the room, and "Monster Mash" was currently playing over the speakers. Fake spider-webs hung from the corners of the room and the chandeliers, housing plastic spiders and other gross-looking bugs in their midst. It looked wonderful.

Regina found herself smiling widely as she looked around the room. "Wow," she breathed. "This looks amazing!" she shouted over the music. Emma leaned in close and said in Regina's ear, "Yeah. You fit right in."

Regina was grateful that Emma couldn't see her blush in the dark room.

"Regina! Emma!"

The girls turned to find Lily and Ruby approaching, both dressed in feminized Tweedle-Dee-and-Dum outfits, bouncing excitedly, their teeth glowing in the black light. "You guys look  _awesome!"_  shouted Ruby, her once brown hair now a bright cherry red, and Regina had to admit the look suited her. "Look at you!" said Lily. "Who knew Regina Mills could look so… _wild_? I love it! You look great!" She leaned over and hugged her. Laughing, Regina hugged her back. "I feel like a completely different person," she admitted, feeling almost  _giddy_.

"Good!" exclaimed Ruby. "It's Halloween! That's the point. You can be anyone you want."

Neal soon joined them, his March Hare outfit almost comical with oversized shoes, brown trousers, a purple vest and giant brown bunny ears on his head. They met up with Belle shortly after, who completed their group in a tasteful White Rabbit costume, complete with a waistcoat and pocket watch. Regina found that she was glad she hadn't bought the rabbit costume Emma had tried to talk her into. Belle had found a better one, and she stood out like a beacon since the outfit was mostly white.

There were a few chaperones standing around at doorways and at the refreshment tables- "Spike a punch bowl  _one time_  and they hold it over your head for eternity," Ruby complained- but the room was so dark and the lights so dizzying, that Regina soon forgot to worry about what anyone thought of her and lost herself to the music (which had switched from holiday music to contemporary hits). Emma must have noticed Regina's hips starting to sway to the beat, because grabbed hold of Regina's arm and pulled her into the crowd of dancing people. Neal, Lily, Ruby, and Belle followed suit immediately, and Regina found that she was able to shed her inhibitions much like the night of the bonfire. Only this was even better; her head wasn't spinning, and she hadn't lost Emma to the crowd; she was dancing right next to her. Regina twirled in a circle and Emma wrapped an arm around her waist, spinning her faster and then dipping her back like a proper gentleman, causing her top hat to fall off and laughter to fall from her lips.

And then, after she'd retrieved her hat, something unexpected happened. Regina felt a tap on her shoulder and turned around to see one of her classmates, Robin Locke, smiling roguishly at her through mummy wrap. "Hey, Regina," he said, peeling back a bit of the wrap so she could see his face better. "You look amazing! Would you like to dance?"

Regina shot a glance at Emma, who grinned widely at her and gave her a thumbs up motion, moving to dance with Neal. Trying not to feel hurt, Regina turned back to Robin and said, "Sure."

It seemed that Robin had staked some kind of claim on her after that, as one dance turned into three, and she even spent a slow song dancing with him, bodies a respectable distance from each other. They made small talk, complimented each other's costumes and talked about the upcoming band concert (Robin played the trumpet in the band). Finally, Regina's feet began to protest all the dancing. She tried to excuse herself, so that she could get back to her friends, but Robin grabbed her arm and said, "Do you want some punch? Maybe we can go outside and talk some more, get some fresh air."

"Oh," Regina hesitated. He looked so  _hopeful…_  "I don't-"

But she was interrupted as Robin pulled her to him and covered her lips in a chaste kiss. She was so shocked she couldn't move. No one had ever kissed her before, and she had no idea how to react. Her heart started to hammer behind her ribcage (not in the same way that it did when she was around Emma, this time she felt  _sick_ ) and she was torn between slapping him and cursing him out for daring to steal her first kiss  _ever_ without her without her permission, or just turning tail and running as fast as her boots would allow. Robin seemed to sense her body stiffening, because he pulled back quickly, looking guilty. "I'm sorry," he apologized. "You just look so beautiful. I've liked you for awhile, ever since I heard you play your sax on the first day of school…and I'm having fun with you tonight. I was hoping you were, too." His guilty look turned hopeful as he waited for her response.

Regina turned and scanned the crowd, looking for Emma, hoping she could lock eyes with her and send some sort of signal- _help, I don't know what to do, come save me-_ and when she located her friend, her heart leaped into her throat.

Emma was leaning up against one of the walls, and  _Neal_  was pressed against her. They were kissing. And not just kissing, but full-on making out, Emma's arms wrapped tightly around Neal's neck.

Well, that did it. Regina felt the blood leave her head and she felt dizzy.

Emma was straight.

Regina's feelings were unrequited. She had the full proof of it staring her in the face. And in that moment, Regina decided immediately that there was no way that she, herself, was a lesbian. She must have just latched on to Emma too heavily, what with Emma being her first real friend here in Storybrooke, and gotten her feelings mixed up somewhere between platonic and romantic. She had been so stupid.

Turning back to Robin, she forced a smile on her face. "You know what, I'm having a great time with you," she said. And it wasn't exactly a lie. Robin was handsome, and a good dancer. Their conversation had been easy, his tone gentle and fun. It wasn't until he'd kissed her that she'd gone rigid and started to panic. "I could definitely use some fresh air," she admitted, still trying to recover from the whirlwind of sights and emotions that had just crashed into her. "Let's go."

She cast another glance at Emma and Neal, and saw them no longer kissing, but talking intimately with their faces close together. Emma appeared to be covering her mouth… _probably savoring his kiss_ , Regina grouched inwardly.

But no, Regina was no longer jealous. At least, that's what she was forcing herself to think. She was going on a walk with a good-looking boy that she had something in common with (he was a really good trumpet player, in all honesty), and she was going to see where it led to. Forget Emma and all the confusing feelings that came with her.

As they stepped out into the bitter cold night, Regina took a deep breath. As the door closed, the music was muffled and Regina allowed the moment of silence to calm her still rapidly-beating heart.

She started when she felt Robin's hand over her own as he laced their fingers together. "I've been wanting to get up the courage to talk to you," he admitted. "I was going to do it a couple days into the year…but then you seemed to never be alone." He laughed awkwardly. "Swan's something else, isn't she?"

"She's a good friend," Regina confirmed. "But I don't want to talk about her. What about you?"

Robin's face lit up like Christmas and he steered her to walk in a slow circle around the B&B, launching into a long-winded monologue about how he loved to play trumpet, music was a huge part of his life, but he also enjoyed hunting on weekends and was becoming quite the expert bowman. Regina had never known anyone that hunted anything, so she curiously asked the appropriate questions- "What do you hunt?" "What are the different seasons for different animals?" "Do you only use your bow and arrows?" "Just how good  _are_  you?"-and he answered each one with fervor. The idea of killing animals, even to use as food, made Regina's stomach turn, but Robin seemed to be genuinely respectful of life and law, and she found herself learning something new.

He then began to ask her questions about her life in California, her interests, how she was liking Storybrooke, and Regina answered each question. She found that she really did enjoy Robin's company, but the gentle press of his hand in hers did nothing. She didn't feel that butterfly sensation in her stomach, her heart had slowed to a normal rhythm and was not interested in picking up again for Robin. She wondered if those sensations had even been a sign of attraction, or if they were signs of discomfort. She tried not to dwell on it.

After about fifteen minutes, Regina's teeth started to chatter, and she was about to suggest they return to the party when she heard the sound of someone crying behind a bush.

"Hey, someone is crying over there," Robin noticed and pointed out needlessly. Regina pulled her hand from his and walked toward the sound. She gasped when she saw who it was.

" _Ruby?"_

Ruby looked up from where her face had been buried in her hands. "Oh," she sniffed. "Regina…I'm sorry. I didn't think-"  _sniff "-_ anyone would be out here."

"Ruby, what's wrong?" Regina asked in concern, moving to sit next to the girl on the cold ground. Ruby wiped at her eyes uselessly as she collapsed into sobs again, wailing something unintelligible.

"Ruby, you have to calm down. I can't understand you. Breathe."

She vaguely registered Robin standing a few feet away, rocking on his feet, looking very uncomfortable, but couldn't bring herself to address him when her friend was outside, sobbing loudly, in freezing temperatures. "Where's Lily?" she asked softly, moving to envelop the crying girl in her arms.

That was apparently the wrong thing to ask. A fresh wave of tears escaped and Ruby buried herself into Regina's neck, her heavy sobs causing her small body to quake. "Shhh, it's okay, I'm sorry," Regina quickly corrected, unsure of what exactly she was apologizing for.

It seemed like forever, but Ruby's tears finally abated, and when Regina felt she had calmed down enough, she whispered, "Hang on one second. I'm not going anywhere, I'll be right over there and I'm coming right back. Okay?" Ruby nodded against her and moved to wrap her arms around her knees and bury her head in the cocoon she had created.

Regina stood up and walked back over to Robin, feeling a little guilty. "Look…Ruby is my friend. I think I need to stay with her, something's really wrong. Why don't you go back inside and I'll talk to you later?"

Robin looked relieved at the suggestion-after all, he'd looked  _so_ uncomfortable the whole time Ruby was crying-and said, "O-okay. Yeah. Um, Regina…I know this is a bad time and everything, but I don't know when I'll get the courage again. So I was wondering if you'd like to go on a date with me. Next Friday?"

Regina's first instinct was to say no. She wasn't attracted to Robin, that much was clear…but then again, everything was all muddled for her right now. Maybe she could be attracted to him, once she had a better hold on her feelings and emotions. Feeling she at least needed to try, she nodded and smiled at him. "I would love to. I'll give you my phone number and address on Monday, okay? Now go inside. Get warm."

Robin leaned over and kissed Regina on the cheek, and she resisted the urge to wipe it away until she was certain he'd rounded the corner and gone back inside.

Going back over to Ruby, she sat back down and took her friend's hand. Ruby was barely sniffling now, and appeared to be much calmer, so Regina asked gently, "Want to tell me what's going on?"

Ruby didn't answer for a long moment. Then she sighed and sat up straight, looking up at the stars above the B&B. "It's Lily," she whispered.

"What about her?"

"She told me she was going for a walk, that she had a headache and would be back before the costume contest…" she trailed off, choking on her words. Sensing her hesitation, Regina urged, "Go on. I'm here, Ruby."

"I went up to Granny's office and grabbed a couple of aspirin for her headache. Just trying to be a good girlfriend, you know?" she laughed dryly then, an almost mocking sound. Regina started to get a really bad feeling as to where this was heading. "I followed her out here, trying to catch up to her to give her the pills. And…I…I saw Graham's car in the parking lot. He graduated last year, and goes to college in Boston. He wasn't even supposed to be here tonight," she clarified at Regina's confused look, then went on, "I looked closer…and I saw Lily sitting in the passenger seat with him. They were fucking  _making out_ , Regina!" she practically wailed then, bursting into tears all over again.

"Oh, God, Ruby I'm so sorry!" Regina whispered, her eyes filling up with tears. Ruby and Lily were adorable together. They always looked so happy and in love, and Regina couldn't fathom that Lily could have done something like this. In a last-ditch effort, she asked, "Are you sure it was her?"

"I know what my  _girlfriend_  looks like," she snapped, then immediately shrunk in on herself. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I know you're just trying to help."

"No, that was a dumb question. I apologize."

Ruby laughed again, the sound echoing in the silence. "We're seniors this year," she said then. "We had all these plans, you know? We planned on going to the same college, rooming together, maybe getting a dog since Granny won't let me have one and Lily's moms abhors them…guess she was playing me for a fool this whole time. I'm a lesbian, Regina! She obviously isn't, it was all just a game to her."

Regina leaned over and wrapped her arms around Ruby again. "I'm so sorry," she repeated, not really knowing what else she could say to comfort the girl.

They sat there for another five minutes, and then Ruby let out a shuddering breath and stood, pulling Regina up with her. "They should be getting to the costume contest at any time now," she announced, wiping her eyes and putting on a brave face. "I need to go to the bathroom and fix my makeup. Cheating girlfriend or not, we're going to win this thing. I didn't wear a fucking Tweedle-Dum costume for nothing."

Laughing softly, Regina followed Ruby inside, and Ruby grabbed her purse from a coat hangar and dashed to the bathroom to fix her makeup. Regina went ahead and reentered the room where the party was going on, and felt a lump form in her throat as her eyes landed on Lily, dancing with Neal and Belle and having the time of her life, completely ignorant to the fact that she'd just broken her girlfriend's heart. Regina felt a scowl cover her face.

Then she felt arms around her neck from behind and smelled that familiar vanilla and cinnamon scent that signaled Emma's presence. "Why the sour face?" Emma shouted in her ear. "Aren't you having fun?"

Regina turned her head to look back at Emma, and froze when the action resulted in hers and Emma's faces to be centimeters from each other. She found herself staring into emerald eyes as the room's lights danced in them, and forgot for a moment that she was supposed to be answering a question. "I'm fine," she finally stated, removing Emma's arms from her neck and trying to calm the  _stupid_  rapid beating of her heart that the blonde's proximity had caused.

"I saw you leave with Locke, but he came back alone. What happened?" Emma asked, looking concerned now. "Did he do something?"

"No, he was very sweet," Regina said, forcing a smile. "We're going on a date next Friday."

"Oh," Emma said a little too brightly, a grin splitting her beautiful face. "That's awesome! So why did you look so mad?"

Regina turned as the door opened once more and Ruby walked into the room, her face perfect once more but lacking the general peppiness that she usually radiated. "I suppose you'll find out soon enough," Regina sighed. Emma followed her line of sight and by the sudden frown on her face, Regina could tell she knew something was wrong immediately. Before she could ask, however, a voice came over the loudspeaker:

"Ladies and gentlemen, ghosts and ghouls, it's now time for the group costume contest! Grab your friends and make your way to the DJ station!"

Emma grabbed Regina's hand and pulled her toward the middle of the room, where people were already finding their friends and grouping up. Regina kept an eye on Ruby, who was smiling widely at her "girlfriend" and pulling her close as they all got into position. Ruby looked normal to anyone who didn't know better, but to Regina she looked tightly wound, and not in the good way.

_This can only end in disaster._

And sure enough, after Regina's group of friends were declared the winners of the costume contest and Emma and Neal were brandishing their winnings-a free meal for each of them at Granny's diner- the entire room was shocked into silence as Ruby  _bitch-slapped_  Lily across the face before tearing off the Tweede-Dum hat and throwing it down on the floor, marching out of the room.

 _Good for her_ , Regina thought secretly. No one deserved to be cheated on. Ruby, sadly, was lucky she'd stumbled across Lily and Graham in the car. Regina knew that far too many people were cheated on and never even found out until much later. In a horrible way, it was good that Ruby had found out.

"What the hell? Regina?"

Too late, Regina realized that she'd been wearing a cynical smirk on her face. Emma, Neal, and Belle were staring at her with mouths agape, and Lily (whose right cheek was an obvious bright red, even in the dimly lit room) looked  _accusatory._  "Regina, what the fuck are you smiling about?" she screamed. "What the fuck just happened?"

Regina crossed her arms. "You should go ask your  _girlfriend_ ," she stated coolly. "Or better yet, why don't you get your coat and go back to Graham's car. I'm sure he's still waiting for you. I highly doubt Ruby is."

And with that, the rest of Lily's face turned as red as her slap mark as all eyes turned to her in question. "Graham?" Neal questioned, tilting his head in confusion. "Graham's here?"

Lily didn't answer. She bared her teeth at Regina in rage and embarrassment and took off at high-speed out of the B&B.

"Hell of a party," Regina quipped, posture sagging now that she wasn't being confronted. She felt exhausted. Way too much had happened tonight, and all she wanted to do was go home and sleep for a week. "Happy Halloween."

Her friends just continued to stare in shock and awe.

* * *

Emma had taken Regina home, and now they were both sitting in Regina's bedroom, having changed into pajamas and wiped their faces clean of makeup. Regina's hair was now up in a messy, curly bun, and she sagged uncharacteristically in her desk chair, arms crossed in front of her. She had just given Emma the play by play on what had happened when she'd encountered Ruby outside the bed and breakfast, and Emma had tears running down her face, which shook Regina to the core. She hated seeing her friends upset…Emma, apparently, most of all.

"I don't get it," Emma whispered, plopping down on Regina's bed. "I was rooting for them so hard. They were always so happy. And…the majority of the town accepting them…it gave me hope."

"Hope?"

Emma seemed to realize what she'd said and shook her head. "I'm happy you were there for Ruby. I never even realized she'd gone outside."

"You were occupied with Neal," Regina said simply, trying not to sound petty or jealous, even though that was still exactly how she felt, no matter how hard she tried to stop it. Emma looked at her with wide eyes. "You saw that, huh?"

"A brief glimpse, yes."

"Well, I saw you kissing Robin before I kissed Neal…and yet you were the one to find Ruby. I should have been more observant."

"Only because Robin and I went for a walk outside. I would have never found her if not for that."

"Did you like it?"

"What?" Regina was lost. "Of course I didn't like finding Ruby like that-"

"No, Regina, focus." Emma interrupted. "Did you like kissing Robin? He was your first kiss, wasn't he?"

Regina shrugged, still uncertain as to why they were talking about  _kissing_ when they had a friend with a broken heart. "He took me by surprise. I'd never really spoken to him before and then suddenly he was there and we danced-"

"For like a solid hour, yeah," Emma said, her smile looking more like a grimace, and Regina couldn't figure out why. "It's not like you were left with no one, Emma," Regina said. "If anything, Robin stealing me away from the group gave you the time you obviously wanted with Neal."

"Regina, Neal was just…" she trailed off, shaking her head violently. "We got off topic. What's going to happen now? Lily and Ruby are both our friends."

"I'm sorry, but I can't condone  _cheating_ , no matter who does it," Regina snapped. "In case you forgot, I was the one who sat with Ruby for a solid twenty minutes, holding her while she cried into my neck like her heart was crumbling to dust. Lily is no friend of mine any longer."

"Gonna suck for you," Emma said. "You work with her."

"I don't work  _with_ her, we all have separate shifts."

"You gonna get her fired?"

"I'm not  _that_  petty, Em."

They stared each other down for a moment, Regina still wondering what the  _hell_ was going on in Emma's mind, before Emma said, "Em. You called me Em."

Regina scratched at her throat. "Sorry. It just slipped. I'm tired."

"No, I like it. You can call me Em.  _Gina_ ," she grinned.

"Shut up."

Emma yawned. "Get over here," she said, pulling back the covers of Regina's bed. "It's like one in the morning and I have the breakfast shift tomorrow."

Regina turned out the lights and climbed into the bed next to Emma. They listened to one another breathe for a long while, and Regina was sure Emma had gone to sleep until she heard a whisper in her ear.

"So, a date with Robin Locke next Friday, huh?"

Regina grimaced, not bothering to mask her unease in the safety of the dark. Despite her discomfort, she suggested, "Yeah. First kiss, now first date. Maybe we should make it a double date. You and Neal, for example."

There was another bout of silence, and Regina held her breath in anticipation, and then Emma said, "Sure. Yeah, okay. We could probably do that. Neal and Robin get along okay, as far as I know."

"Cool," Regina breathed, the tight sensation in her heart threatening to choke her up. "I'll let Robin know. It's a double date, then."

"Yeah," Emma yawned, her words beginning to slur as she drifted off. "It's a date, Gina." In the next five seconds, Emma was snoring, and Regina was thankful for it, because she could  _hear_ the pounding her heart had begun in reaction to Emma's last sentence.

She apparently needed more time to sort out her feelings, because her body wasn't listening to her head when it came to Emma Swan. Groaning, she rolled over away from her friend and willed her body into a broken, troubled sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains mild references to and results of child abuse. Nothing too heavy or graphic, but it is there. This chapter was rough, and the next couple chapters will be as well. There are two different directions this could go from here, and I'm going to explore both, so the next chapter might take a few days for me to post as I figure out which direction works better. Please leave a review, let me know what you think, give me ideas, anything. I write this for your enjoyment, so I would really appreciate hearing from you all. <3

Regina was starting to really regret her decision to go on a date, even a double date. She stared at her closet hopelessly, while Emma used her bathroom to straighten her hair and apply makeup.

They'd gotten home from school an hour ago, and Emma had come straight to Regina's house. Honestly, if Emma and Regina weren't working or at school, Emma was at Regina's house. She came over sometimes even when Regina was working in the boutique, to help Cora make a new meal or to watch baseball or play chess with Henry. She was becoming a permanent placement in the Mills house, and Regina had yet to gather the courage to ask why it was that Emma was never home, and why Regina had yet to meet her foster parents. It seemed like a touchy subject, so she steered clear of bringing it up.

Cora and Henry loved Emma to death, and they never asked questions either. The whole house was livelier when Emma was around.

And, lately, there had been a new addition to their little group: Ruby, who was currently in the bathroom helping Emma get ready. Ruby had latched on to Regina like a sad little koala after her breakup with Lily, who now glared at Regina every time they saw each other, almost like Lily's cheating had been _Regina's_ fault. Regina had even moved back a row in the band class to avoid any altercation. She assumed Lily was expecting her to try and get her fired from the boutique, but Regina had kept her mouth shut. Like she'd told Emma, she really wasn't _that_ petty.

Regina heard the bathroom door open, but didn't turn around. "I have nothing to wear," she grouched. She was still dressed in her school outfit of jeans and a simple tee, no makeup and limp hair. Ruby glided over and poked her in the side. "That's a load of bull and you know it," she said, reaching into Regina's closet to rifle through her clothes. "You have thousands of dollars worth of designer clothes in there. Pick your sexiest outfit and we'll get to doing your hair and stuff."

Regina grimaced. "I don't want to look _sexy_ , Ruby," she complained. Ruby turned to give her a weird look. "You're going on your first date. _Ever._ Don't you want Rob to find you drop-dead gorgeous? I mean, not that you aren't already-"

"No, Ruby. I don't want to look sexy. I am not going to be…having sex."

"Well, I know that," Ruby huffed, exasperated. "But you want him to _want_ you. Give him a glimpse of what he can't have yet."

She pulled a stunning red gown (one of her mother's designs, of course) out of the closet and said, "Here! He'll lose his mind."

"Ruby, we're going to the Storybrooke Fair," quipped Emma from the bathroom, where Ruby had left the door open. "Cocktail dresses are out of the question unless Regina wants to freeze, and for the entirety of Storybrooke to know what her vag looks like."

Ruby waggled her eyebrows at Regina suggestively, and Regina blushed about the same color as the dress her friend was holding. "Stop it," she growled, snatching the dress back and hanging it back up. Ruby stuck her tongue out. "Well, I'm just trying to be helpful. _I_ don't have anyone to dress up for anymore, so I have to lend my expertise when I can."

Regina turned and made eye contact with Emma, who had stepped out of the bathroom, looking gorgeous as usual in black leggings and a gray sweater dress, complete with gray ankle-high boots. Her hair was swept up into a high chignon, sleek and shiny. Light makeup graced her strong features.

Emma met her gaze and they exchanged sad, guilty looks. Ruby huffed and cried, "Stop it, guys! I'm fine. I'm over it. If you seriously think I'm still pining for Lily after what she did, you're insane."

"We just hurt for you, Rubes," Emma said softly, walking over to hug her friend. "And you can totally still dress up. You're going to the fair too, right?"

"Nah," Ruby said. "There are literally no other gay girls in this town, so there's no point in dressing to impress. And I promised Gram I'd come work the dinner shift tonight."

"I'm also sure there are other gay girls in town," Regina said as she continued to stare blankly at her closet. She didn't even fully register what she'd said until Ruby was in her face, pulling a faux-seductive look and batting her eyelashes. "Oh, what's that, Mills? You interested? Applying for the job?" she teased.

"Certainly not," Regina covered quickly, pushing Ruby to the side so she wouldn't see her face heating up guiltily. "I'm just saying, you don't know _everyone_. Don't cut your losses too soon."

"Right," Emma said quickly, coming to Regina's aid. "Plus, you're almost done with school. When you leave for UNE next summer, you'll meet all sorts of new people and there's guaranteed to be some lesbians out there."

Ruby sighed. "If I even get accepted into UNE. But you guys are right. Maybe I'm just…not ready."

Both Regina and Emma pulled her into a group hug, and Ruby let them…for about five seconds. "Okay," she said thickly, tampering down emotions. "In case you guys have forgotten, you're leaving for the fair in like thirty minutes and Mills here still looks like a kid lost in a mall. Let's get to it."

Within thirty minutes (she was impressed, she couldn't even deny it), Regina stood looking at her reflection. Ruby and Emma had chosen a pair of black jeans and a thick, white cowl-neck sweater ("I'm going to be wearing a _coat_ , what does it matter?" Regina had complained). Ruby had applied stylish smoky makeup and soft mauve lipstick, and Emma had gathered Regina's long hair into a high ponytail, and had teased the hair at the top of her head into a stylish bump. "You look good enough to eat," Ruby teased, snapping her teeth together. Regina pushed her. "Stop."

"She's right," Emma said. "We did good work. Now let's get going. The guys should be here any minute."

Robin and Neal had agreed energetically to go on a double date. Turns out, the boys were neighbors and Robin had taken Neal hunting a couple times, so they got along great. And both were excited to be actually going on a real date. So Robin had agreed to ride with Neal, and they were set to pick the girls up any minute.

The three friends made their way down the stairs, only to be bombarded with Cora and Henry…Cora, as usual, was holding her camera. "Regina's first date," Cora explained to Emma and Ruby, who were smirking at Regina in amusement. "That boy had better come up to the door, I want to meet him and get a picture of him too," she instructed Regina harshly.

"Yes, Mother," Regina sighed. She was _really_ regretting the decision to go on a date. Her stomach was a complete ball of nerves. What was expected on the first date? Was she expected to let him kiss her again? What was the protocol? She seriously felt like throwing up.

Emma must have seen the discomfort on her face (she was good at seeing that, Regina had figured out) and she offered, "Mrs. Mills, this is technically my first real date with Neal too."

Cora faced her with wide eyes, camera at the ready. "Well then, this really is a momentous occasion. Do your parents want to meet him? Should we fetch them?"

Emma laughed uncomfortably. "They already know Neal, ma'am," she said. "We've been friends for years. And they're away this weekend anyway. Kathryn had a business trip to New York and James…is with her," she said after hesitating. Cora gave a hum of disappointment, but then waved her hand in nonchalance. "No matter," she said. "I'll document the occasion for them. And you, of course."

Perfectly on time, the doorbell rang. Henry opened it up, revealing Neal and Robin, standing in the doorway and each holding a bouquet of assorted flowers and looking incredibly nervous. "Come on in, gentlemen," Henry said good-naturedly, stepping to the side to let them in. Hesitantly, the guys stepped into the house, and each presented the flowers to their respective dates. Regina took her bouquet, thanking Robin politely and feeling her face heating up as her stomach twisted into more knots. She didn't know how a girl was supposed to feel on a first date, but she could hazard a guess that _sick_ and _dreadful_ weren't normal.

Introductions were exchanged and Cora instructed them on where to stand for pictures. She got a picture of Regina and Robin first, standing arm-in-arm with the flowers on display, and Regina smiled a big false smile for the camera. Then Cora got a picture of Neal and Emma, who both looked a little uncomfortable, and then she instructed that the four of them stand together. Emma eagerly wrapped an arm around Regina's waist, and Regina did the same to Emma, subconsciously drawing her close as though she could be an anchor for her roller-coaster of emotions. Emma's familiar delicious smell did, in fact, ease a bit of her discomfort the from the moment, and she took a deep, calming breath. The guys stood on either side of them and took their free hands. Right before the camera flashed, Emma's hand tightened on Regina's hip, the full-body tingle resulting from it causing her to squirm a bit and glance longingly at Emma, while the thought _I wish it was just_ you _I was going on a date with_ flashed through her mind before she could stop it.

The flash blinded them all, and Cora scoffed. "Regina, dear, you weren't even looking at the camera. Do try to focus, dear. Once more…and…smile!"

All four of them plastered on smiles and were once again blinded by the flash before stepping away for the girls to grab their coats and purses.

"Ah, that was _so_ amusing," Ruby snarked from her position in the corner of the foyer. "I gotta get to work. See you all later!" And with a wave, she was out the door. Regina turned to say goodbye to her mother, only to see her pensively studying the screen of her digital camera. "What's the matter, Mother?" she asked jokingly. "Did I blink? Have something on my face?"

Cora turned the camera off quickly and smiled softly at her daughter. "Of course not. You look lovely, my dear. Have a wonderful time." With that, she hugged her quickly and then walked over to hug Emma, who returned the embrace a little awkwardly, but happily.

Handshakes were exchanged, as well as the trademark "Have them back by ten" formalities, and then they were in Neal's car, on the way to the annual Storybrooke town fair.

"It's stupid, really," Emma complained on the way. "Most towns hold their fairs at the end of the summer. Storybrooke chooses to do its fair a month and a half before Christmas. But they sell a bunch of hot chocolates and warm apple ciders, you know, the trademark cold-weather stuff."

Regina, whose teeth were already chattering in the cold she was still unaccustomed to, just hummed in acknowledgement. Robin noticed and wrapped his arm around her (Neal and Emma were in the front seats, Robin and Regina in the back). "Here, I'll help you keep warm."

Regina immediately went rigid in his arms, her queasiness returning. "I-I'm fine. Thanks though." She shrugged him off gently and he retreated to his side of the car, looking a bit like a kicked puppy. Regina glanced at Emma, and their eyes met for a moment before Regina looked out the window, wishing she could just tell Neal to turn the car around and take her back home.

Soon enough, however, they pulled into the fairground parking lot and made their way to the ticket booth.

While the guys purchased the tickets, Emma pulled Regina to the side and said, "Okay, spill. What's wrong?"

Regina's eyes went wide. Was she that obvious? Judging from Emma's expression and question, apparently. "I'm fine, just nervous."

"You look like you want to throw up, or run, or both."

_Damn. Spot on deduction skills, Em._

"I'm fine."

Emma stepped forward and pulled Regina into her arms. "Then try to look like it," she whispered in her ear. "You look so uncomfortable. Relax."

It was hard to relax when Emma was holding her, her hot breath was tickling her ear, and her addicting scent was invading her nose, but, "I'll try."

Rides were first. The group rode the Tilt-A-Whirl, and The Himalaya, and by the time they were lined up for the Ferris Wheel, Regina was _cold_. Even with ear muffs and gloves. Robin noticed and offered to grab them all cups of hot chocolate. "Have them make mine with cinnamon," Emma yelled after him.

Regina took the time waiting in line to scan the fairgrounds. It was certainly busy for a freezing cold night, and the lights and sounds were beautiful. She always had loved fairs…just didn't really like the freezing cold temperatures that come with this one.

By the time Robin returned, Regina felt as though she couldn't stand another minute in the cold.

That's when Regina noticed that people were only being allowed on the Ferris Wheel in twos. Couples. Oh God, what if Robin tried to kiss her at the top? She'd seen enough romantic movies to know what's expected on a Ferris ride. Her heart picked up, adrenaline rushed through her, and her stomach tumbled with nerves.

"E-Emma," she stuttered through chattering teeth, "I c-can't do it."

Emma looked over at her and concern grew on her face. "Jeez, Regina, you're practically blue. And your nose is all red. Hey guys, maybe we should call it a night."

_Okay, not exactly why I can't do this anymore, but yes. Cold. Let's go with that._

Robin instantly agreed. "It's only about 6:30, we could go to the bowling alley and play a few games."

That seemed a better option all around. They all agreed and then Emma said, "Wait, I have one more thing I want to do, Neal, come with me."

Neal tossed his car keys to Robin, saying "Here, warm the car up. We'll be back in a bit."

Regina tried not to think about whatever it was Emma was wanting to do with Neal, so she fell into step with Robin as they headed back to the car.

"I'm sorry," Robin said as he turned the car on, heaters going full-blast, and climbed into the back seat with her. "All of us are used to this cold…when I suggested the fair, I didn't take into account that you're not acclimated to it yet."

"Oh, it's f-fine," Regina sighed dismissively, putting her gloved hands forward to catch the warm air flowing from the vents. "I love fairs. It was a good idea. I did have fun." She sent him a reassuring smile, and then froze when he lifted a finger to run down the side of her face. "You're beautiful tonight, as always," he said softly, his voice dropping to a low timbre. "Can I kiss you?"

Regina's heart leapt to her throat, choking her. "I-I-"

But his face was already closing in, lips puckering. Feeling helpless, Regina closed her eyes and let it happen. It was going to happen no matter what, right? Robin liked her. She'd agreed to a date, so that's a clear signal to him that she liked him back. Telling him no would just upset him, right? Besides, she needed to figure out a few things, so…

His lips brushed against hers, his growing stubble rubbing abrasively against her lips and chin. Sparks of discomfort and unease rushed under her skin and she pulled back quickly, dread filling her stomach. "Robin…"

"Yeah, I know," he sighed, leaning back. "It was worth a try, anyway, I thought. But I was a fool not to see it before."

"See what?" Regina asked sharply, rubbing her mouth roughly, trying to erase his kiss. Robin pointed out the window toward the fair. "The way you look at Emma. It's not me you're interested in."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Regina snapped, turning away from him.

"Yes, you do. And it's okay, Regina," he said as he placed his hand gently on her shoulder. "I won't say anything. It's not my place. My big brother, John, didn't come out until long after he'd left for college. He was afraid our parents would reject him. They didn't, of course. And now he and his boyfriend visit every holiday. They're good together."

Regina felt her eyes welling with tears, and made sure to keep her face turned away. Robin patted her gently on the shoulder before taking his hand away. "Thank you for coming out with me anyway, despite….oh. I was a test, wasn't I?"

At that, Regina turned back to him, ashamed. "No, Robin, it wasn't…"

He grinned. "It's okay. Really. I'm glad I was the one you decided to give a chance, if only for a single date. A terrible date, really. What was I thinking, dragging you out into the cold?" he laughed then, rubbing his hands down his face.

"Please," Regina whispered. "Don't-"

They had been so absorbed in their conversation, they hadn't seen Emma and Neal approach. The sound of the trunk of the car opening and closing startled them, and Robin said quickly, "Not my place. Good luck, Regina," before the car doors opened and their friends plopped into the seats, bringing a blast of cold air. "Okay," Neal said, turning around to smile at his backseat passengers. "To the bowling alley?"

Regina and Robin exchanged a look, and Robin waggled his eyebrows, making her laugh. "Yes," Regina said, feeling as though a huge weight had been lifted. This was no longer a date, there were no expectations, and Robin and Regina were just along for Emma and Neal's date. "Let's go bowling," she finished, grinning widely.

Emma shot her a strange look, probably wondering why she was all full of smiles again, but didn't comment.

* * *

 

"You could have warned me you were a pro bowler," Emma whined when they entered Regina's room later that night.

"Where's the fun in that?" Regina laughed, taking her hair down and shaking it out. "Oh, God, that feels better," she sighed.

"I bet you're just full of surprises," Emma grumped before smiling. "So," she teased, kicking her feet up on the bed. "On a scale of one to ten, how awesome did Neal and I make your first date with Robin?"

"Nuh-uh," Regina stopped her then, an idea forming. "We're going downstairs before you get all cozy on my bed. Did you bring pajamas?"

"I'm always prepared," Emma said proudly, pointing to the duffel back by the bathroom door.

"Okay, get changed."

Regina grabbed her own pajamas, a thick flannel set because she could still feel the cold deep in her bones, and changed quickly in the bathroom.

A little too quickly.

When she came out, she came face-to-face with a half-naked Emma. Luckily, Emma was faced away from her, so all she saw was the smooth expanse of Emma's back…covered in fading yellow bruises.

"Oh my God, Emma, what happened to your back?"

Emma quickly threw a baggy shirt on and turned around, smiling. "Ever hear of knocking, Mills?" she quipped, adjusting the ties on her pajama pants. Regina blushed and stuttered, "I-I'm sorry. I didn't think."

"It's okay, we're both girls. Nothing we haven't seen before, right?"

"Emma, what's wrong with your back?" Regina asked again, softly. Emma's face flashed dark for a moment, then her smile returned as she took her hair down from its chignon. "I play sports, Regina," she said simply. "And remember the day we met? I cut my leg on your fence. I'm a huge klutz. You'll never see me _not_ covered in bruises."

Regina's head was filled with doubt and concern, but once again she let Emma's explanation ease her mind. "You are a klutz," she agreed. "Okay, follow me. You'll love this."

Regina led her downstairs and into her father's study, which was the only room in the house with a fireplace.

Emma had never been in Henry's study, and she immediately crossed over to the bookshelves, admiring his collection, saying "whoa" over and over as she examined the room. Snickering, Regina made her way to the fireplace, throwing in a couple logs and expertly lighting them, filling the room with a warm glow.

"Oh, hell _yes_ ," Emma breathed, moving forward to sit down on the expensive rug in front of the fire. "That's it, Regina. I'm moving in. You're never getting rid of me now."

Regina laughed, warmth spreading through her body at Emma's words. Oh, how ideal that would be.

"Okay, now you have to tell me. Robin," Emma reminded her, stretching her feet out toward the fire. "Was it good? You going on a date with him again?"

Regina sat down next to Emma, stretching out with her. "No," she admitted. "Robin and I had a talk in the car while you and Neal were off doing…whatever it was you were doing. We agreed to be friends."

Emma took a deep breath and let it out slowly, looking at Regina incredulously. "Wow," she said. "I've never heard of a date ending halfway through, and still hanging out for hours afterwards. But it explains why you were much more relaxed after the fair."

Regina laughed. "Yeah. It was just…way too much stress. Didn't feel right. I don't think I'm ready to date. How about you?" she asked then. "How was the first date with Neal?"

Emma shrugged. "It was nothing different, really. We hang out like that all the time. It didn't really feel like a date, except the flowers. God, that was awkward," she laughed, which made Regina laugh too. "Yes, it really was," she agreed through her laughter.

Emma laid back, putting her arms behind her head. "I guess I'm not ready to date either. Kissing Neal at the Halloween bash was just...ugh..." she confided softly, her eyes closing. Regina lay back with her, propping her head up on one arm, and tried not to show her elation at Emma's admission. "Are we weird? I mean, we're almost seventeen. Aren't we supposed to be boy crazy?" she asked carefully.

Emma huffed. "Never have been, don't see me starting to be anytime soon," she stated. "You're not weird, Mills. You and me, we're focused. Get through school, go to college. Make careers for ourselves. Did I tell you that I finally got my GPA to a 4.0?"

Regina gasped. "No!" she exclaimed excitedly. "That's wonderful! Good job. What college are you looking to go to?"

"I don't really know yet. I know I want a degree in culinary arts…but I also want a degree in social work."

"Social work?" That was new information. Emma had never mentioned it before. "Why social work?"

Emma didn't say anything for a long moment, her eyes remaining closed, and Regina was content with just openly staring at her friend, drinking in her beauty and admiring her heart and soul. Emma was becoming one of the best things in Regina's life.

Finally, Emma said, "I want to be part of other foster kids' lives. I want to help kids find good homes, and I want to actively keep an eye out for the bad families, the ones that are only in it for the money or the sick pleasure of torturing, abusing, or raping kids. I want to protect kids like me from the families that I've experienced."

Regina gasped. "You've experienced…torture? Rape?"

Emma laughed mirthlessly. "I really love to cook," she said, completely avoiding Regina's question. "But I also want to help the kids in the world that can't help themselves. So, I have to find a good university where I can maybe do both. Major in social work, minor in culinary or something."

"I think that's a very good plan, Emma," Regina whispered, reaching over to run her fingers through Emma's hair before she could stop herself. Emma moaned then, the sound jolting through Regina like lightning, sending a tingling sensation deep into her belly. She wanted Emma to never stop making that sound.

So she ran her fingers through her hair again, and again. Emma scooted closer to give Regina better access, and Regina happily continued her work, her nails scraping over Emma's skull and down through her silky hair to untangle it.

"That feels so good," Emma whispered. "I don't think…anyone has ever done that to me before."

And that broke Regina's heart. Her mother had always done this for her, more when she was a little girl than now, and it had always relaxed her. The thought that Emma had never been comforted, never been cared for in such a small way, was horribly saddening.

Emma rolled to her side then, tucking her body up against Regina's. She draped her arm over Regina's waist and begged, "Please don't stop," which, _oh,_ the building warmth in Regina's belly moved downward, settling between her legs in an ache she'd never felt before in her life. Her heartbeat sped up and her breath caught in her throat, but she continued playing with Emma's hair, alternating between scratching and massaging her scalp, and going lower to rub gentle circles into Emma's back.

Emma moaned again at Regina's ministrations, moving impossibly closer. "That feels really, really good."

And as Regina held Emma to her, she realized that there was no other place she'd rather be than right here, holding Emma close and eliciting sounds of pleasure from her. And she identified the ache as arousal (even though she'd never felt it, she'd learned about it in sex ed last year), and decided that she enjoyed that feeling too.

Even if she never admitted to Emma how she felt about her, Regina knew without a doubt that she was falling for her best friend. She found her infuriatingly attractive, sexy, beautiful, and she loved everything about her.

And she wasn't going to tell Emma, she decided. Because if she did, there was a chance that Emma would reject her and run, and Regina couldn't bear to be without her. Better to be quiet and enjoy her friendship than to speak up and ruin everything. Regina was going to take the friendship that Emma offered, and nothing more.

That was the way it had to be.

* * *

 

The next month passed in a blur of work, school, and heavy saxophone practices. Regina sometimes stayed after school on the days she didn't work, so that she could help the other saxophone players with their holiday music. She even helped Lily, who had stopped glaring at her and had settled into a detached passiveness, which was just fine with Regina.

Also, just before Thanksgiving, Regina passed her driver's education class and received her driver's permit.

Thanksgiving passed, and sadly Emma wasn't able to help Cora with Thanksgiving dinner (she had gone to New York with her foster parents over Thanksgiving break)…so naturally, it was horrible. The turkey was undercooked, the stuffing too soggy, the pies, well, Regina wasn't sure exactly what had happened with the pies. Truth of the matter was, Regina wasn't sure her mother would ever learn how to cook.

Henry had taken to pleading with Cora about hiring, if not a housekeeper, then just a personal chef. At first, Cora was adamantly against it, but one morning Regina found a newspaper on the counter with potential "nutrition experts" highlighted.

Their new cook, a middle-aged woman named Eleanor, started about five days after Thanksgiving and came around three times a week to cook and prep their meals for them. Regina almost cried in relief.

Regina's first time experiencing snowfall was riding home from school in Emma's car, about a week before Christmas.

"Oh my God!" she cried, "Emma, stop the car!" Emma slammed on the brakes, yelling, "What is it?" and looked completely lost when Regina jumped out of the car and onto the sidewalk. "What are you doing?!"

Regina didn't answer her. She was too busy look up into the sky as the snowflakes came down heavily around her. Giddy laughter bubbled up from her throat, and for a moment, she didn't even mind the cold. "It's snowing!" she yelled out to Emma finally, spinning in a circle. She looked over to see an unreadable expression on Emma's face as she stared at her. Finally, Emma moved to park on the side of the road and turned off the car, getting out to join her friend. "You've never seen snow, have you?" Emma asked softly when she approached her. Regina turned to her, a smile splitting her face. "No," she said breathlessly. "It's remarkable. I've only ever seen it in movies and on the news." She tilted her head back and tried to catch a snowflake on her tongue, which made Emma laugh. "You're a goofball," she giggled, then tilted her own head back, catching a snowflake almost immediately. "It's refreshing," she said. "I've seen so much snow in my lifetime, I've never really thought about someone having _never_ seen it before. I guess it would be a remarkable thing."

Regina closed her eyes and spun around again, letting the snow collect on her hair, eyelashes and coat. When she opened her eyes again, Emma had a pensive look on her face. "What is it?" Regina asked breathlessly, tilting her head in curiosity. Emma opened her mouth to speak, then closed it again, and said, "Wait here."

Regina watched Emma go back to the car and open up the glove box, pulling something out of it. When she walked back to Regina, there was a small box in her hand. "I was going to wait until Christmas to give you this, but I'm going on another trip with James and Kathryn then, to see Kathryn's parents over the holidays" Emma began, shoving the box toward Regina. "I saw this at one of the booths when we went to the fair, and it reminded me of you."

Regina took the box gingerly and removed the lid. When she saw what was inside, she gasped quietly. "Oh, Emma, it's beautiful. Thank you!"

It was a necklace. A beautiful silver necklace with a crown pendant. On two points of the crown were two birthstones: Amethyst and opal. "They're our birthstones," Emma said helpfully.

"…Opal." Regina whispered with dawning realization. "Your birthday is in October. Why didn't you tell me? I missed it!"

Emma shrugged. "We don't know exactly when I was born."

Regina had never heard the story of how Emma came to be in foster care. It appeared she was about to.

"I was found by a ten year old boy on the side of the highway. He was riding in the back of his parents' car, and saw a basket lying on the side of the road. Pointed it out to his family, they pulled over and opened the basket up to find me inside. I was wrapped up in a crocheted blanket, the name "Emma" on the edge of it. The only reason I know this is because I looked up the news stories around the time I was born. They did an article on my finding in the Boston Tribune. I was estimated to be only a few days old. They tried to find out which hospital I'd been born at....turns out I wasn't even born at a hospital. There was no way to find who my parents are. So they estimated my birthday to be on or around October 11. I don't really celebrate that day, because I'm pretty sure my birth wasn't celebrated by anyone."

Regina's eyes welled with tears. Snow was falling very heavily now, and Emma looked like a snow-covered fallen angel. Regina wanted to gather her up in her arms and kiss her pain away.

Instead, she took the necklace out of its box and held it up to Emma. "Put it on me?" she asked softly. Emma nodded and Regina turned around, lifting her long braid. Emma placed the necklace around her neck and fastened it, then took Regina's braid from her hands and placed it back down where it belonged. "There," she whispered. "Let's see it."

Regina turned back around and Emma's gaze zeroed in on the pendant. "It suits you. You know why I picked a crown, don't you?"

At Regina's negative head shake, Emma smiled. "Your name. It's Latin for 'queen'. Did you know that?"

Regina had looked it up once, but never really thought about it, and she told Emma as such. Emma grinned at her. "Your mother and father had good taste in naming you," she said, then smiled cheekily. "Queenie. I'm going to call you that from now on."

"No, you're not," Regina stated firmly, which had Emma erupting into giggles.

"Emma, you're not calling me Queenie."

"You didn't have much luck getting me to stop from calling you 'Gina', so how do you propose you'll stop me from calling you 'Queenie'?"

Regina straightened her back to complete rigidity and stepped into Emma's face. "A queen I am, and I have ways to destroy you," she joked in a dark tone. Emma, however, wasn't deterred. She stepped forward, further closing the distance between them. "That you do," she said softly and seriously, staring Regina dead in the eyes. "Regina…" Her eyes darted down, and whether it was to Regina's lips or her necklace, Regina wasn't sure. She could have sworn Emma's gaze was concentrated on her lips. _Is Emma about to kiss me?_ she thought deliriously.

But Emma didn't finish her thought. She cleared her throat and stepped back. "We should be getting home," she said a little too loudly after their hushed conversation. "At the rate the snow is falling, the road will be covered soon, and I have _zero_ experience on snowy roads."

Regina blinked a few times, wondering what on earth had been about to happen, feeling completely shaken. "O-okay," she choked out through tightened vocal chords, and go home they did.

By Christmas, Regina was extremely thankful she'd gotten all of her shopping done beforehand. The entire town of Storybrooke was completely snowed in.

Luckily for the Mills, Eleanor had impressed the family so much with her cooking and sweet, no-nonsense personality that she'd been hired on as the full live-in housekeeper, and had taken up residence in the lavish guest bedroom (that had been just fine with Regina, as she'd gotten sick of her Sunday cleaning days in a house that was way too big while also working and doing schoolwork). So, their Christmas dinner was perfect and full of flavor.

Gifts were exchanged by the immaculately-decorated tree in the sitting room, and Regina had bought her mother a beautiful pair of ruby earrings that had cost at least a month of her pay _and_ allowance, and had purchased her father a few hours at the Storybrooke Enchanted Spa because she knew that even though her father never complained, his carpal tunnel sometimes acted up on days of furious typing on his computer. He deserved a relaxing massage. Her gift for Emma remained unopened under the tree, waiting for the day Emma returned from her foster grandparents' place. Regina couldn't wait for her reaction when she opened it. Also under the tree was a gift each for Ruby, Neal, Belle, and Robin, who she had still been talking to on a daily basis as friends.

Right before she went to bed that night, Regina pulled out her phone and sent each of her friends a "Merry Christmas" text. She waited a few minutes, and the replies flowed in.

_Ruby: "Merry Christmas, R! Hope u had a gr8 1, & can't wait 2 give u ur gift!"_

_Neal: "U 2."_

_Robin: "Merry Christmas, Regina."_

_Belle: "Merry Christmas and happy holidays! Are you still loving the snow? Lol"_

Emma replied last, almost twenty minutes later.

_Emma: "Merry Christmas, Queenie. Wish I could have spent it w/ u."_

Regina smiled widely and replied, " _Maybe next year."_

Emma's next text was immediate: _"Definitely."_

And Regina fell asleep on Christmas night with a soft smile on her face.

It was New Year's Eve before Regina saw James and Kathryn Nolan's car return to their driveway.

She was sitting in her usual place on her window seat, staring out into the gorgeous white snow that still blanketed everything. It was about midday, and overcast. She saw James and Kathryn exit the car…then James threw open the back door and _pulled_ Emma out by her arm.

Regina frowned with growing concern as she watched. Emma was shrunken in on herself, head down, struggling weakly against James's hold. He wrenched her to him and pulled her toward the front door, while Kathryn looked around, probably making sure no one was outside watching. Regina flew out of her window seat, crouching as low as she could while still being able to see out the window.

James pulled Emma into the house, and Kathryn followed, locking their car and closing the front door behind them.

Regina stood back up and opened up her window slightly, shivering at the cold air that seeped inside as a result, but soon she heard it: the faint sound of yelling.

James and Kathryn were practically screaming, and this time it didn't appear to be a fight between them; they were screaming at Emma.

And then Regina heard Emma scream, loud and shrill.

Heart racing, not stopping to think, unable to fully process what was happening, Regina pulled on her coat and boots and ran downstairs, ignoring her parents' calls of "Where are you going?" and practically flying out the door. She slipped on the front step of their home, landing hard on her backside and hissing in pain before pulling herself back up and continuing her trek through the snow to get to Emma.

Heart in her throat now, Regina trudged down the street and up the steps to the house she'd never been to before despite months of friendship with Emma, and knocked frantically on the door.

The shouts inside ceased, but she heard one more howl that sounded like Emma's. Then the door opened, and a red-faced man in his thirties was staring down at her. "Can I help you?" he asked tightly.

"I'm Regina Mills, I'm a friend of Emma's," Regina panted out breathlessly, all of a sudden realizing that what she was doing was probably insanely stupid. "I…I saw you come home, and I just…wanted to…invite Emma over, I have a present for her."

The man, whom Regina figured was James, scowled. "We _just_ got back from a trip, and are very tired. Were you raised without manners? Did your parents teach you to bother a family immediately when they return home?"

Regina felt her face turning red. "N-no, and I'm sorry," she murmured. "I just-"

"You can see Emma when school starts back up. Until then, leave us alone."

The door was slammed in her face.

And Regina had a sinking feeling that she'd just made matters worse for her friend.

* * *

 

It was just before midnight when Regina sent a text to Emma's phone. " _Are you all right?"_

She never got a reply, and rang in the New Year unhappily and worried sick for her friend. She was still lying awake at about 3 a.m., staring absently at her ceiling. Why had the Nolans been yelling at Emma? Why had Emma screamed? Was her friend far worse off than she'd ever thought?

Then there was a knock at her window. She practically fell off the bed in surprise, and when she looked over, she saw Emma's blond head at the bottom of the far right pane. " _Emma?_ " she squeaked, opening the window and allowing Emma to hoist herself in. "How did you get up here? What are you doing?"

Emma righted herself, her hair hiding her face, and turned to close the window. "I'm okay," she said softly, still facing the window. "I just needed to see you."

And when she turned around, Regina almost passed out.

Emma's right eye was swollen and bruised, there was dried blood on her lip, and her hair was matted and tangled. "Oh my god," Regina breathed, pushing Emma's hair back to inspect the damage. "What the _hell_ did they do to you?!"


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Discussion of child abuse. Obviously you all knew that was coming, but I feel I need to put out a warning just in case. It's not too graphic, but it was sad and hard to write. Let me know what you think.

Emma laughed humorlessly. "I got in a fight, with one of my _cousins_ at Kathryn's parents' place. At least, that's the story I'm supposed to tell."

Regina was already running to the bathroom to wet a cloth. She scrambled back to Emma and placed the cold cloth to her face, using her free hand to stroke Emma's hair soothingly. "It's okay," she whispered. "I've got you. Emma, please, what happened?"

She eased Emma onto her bed, sitting down next to her and continuing to press the cloth to her eye and lip. Emma's shoulders started to shake, and tears began to stream down her face. "It's never been this bad before," she sobbed. "At first, it was little things. James would drink, and he would get in Kathryn's face. So I would try to stop him, to split up the fight. I'd get pushed down, thrown into a table or wall or whatever I would happen to land on, things like that. But I couldn't just let him treat her like that, you know? Kathryn isn't a bad person. She's unable to have kids. She talked James into fostering, and she could have chosen a baby, a small kid, but she chose me. And I'm thankful for that."

Regina hummed softly to show that she was listening, continuing to stroke Emma's hair comfortingly.

"And..and then, it got worse. Kathryn met a man in New York on one of her business trips. She told James on the drive home yesterday that she'd fallen in love with someone else, and wants a divorce. He…lost it."

Tears streamed silently down her face as she continued, "He told her he could get her on and infidelity clause, that if she left him she would leave with nothing. He'd talked her into making their bank account a joint one, and he threatened to drain it, to make sure she had nothing at all when the divorce was done. James's twin brother is a sheriff in Augusta, and James said he could falsify a number of things that would ruin Kathryn's budding career as a lawyer. She's just a paralegal right now, but she wants to work up to lawyer, judge, maybe a DA. She has all these dreams, and James swears to ruin them all for her if she leaves him and ruins the image of a perfect family."

"That's horrible," Regina whispered, her horror growing by the moment. "How did this happen to _you_ , though? Did my….did my thoughtless knocking on your door cause this?"

"No," Emma said quickly. "No. You coming to our door stopped it all. James snapped out of it." She looked over at her, then down to her lap. "I told him he couldn't force her to stay with him, that people…can't help who they fall in love with. I told him his drinking has alienated everyone. And he told me that with one phone call, he could have me shipped back to the group home in Augusta. He never wanted me, he'd only agreed to foster because he thought it would make Kathryn happy enough to let him keep drinking. And he told us both that if Kathryn left, he would not only ruin everything for her, but for me too. And then, he took his anger out on me once we were inside the house."

They sat in silence for a minute, then Emma wrapped her fingers around Regina's wrist, pulling her hand, and the cloth, away from her face. "It feels a little better, thank you," she whispered, giving a sad half-smile.

"Emma, we need to call the authorities, you have to have these wounds documented," Regina urged, taking Emma's hands in hers. "James can't get away with this. We can't let him."

"No!" Emma cried, louder than intended, shooting up off the bed. "No," she repeated in a softer tone, looking at Regina with wide eyes…or, one wide eye, as the other had finally swollen shut. "If the authorities see me, they'll take me back into the state's custody, against my will. I would rather keep going through this than go back into the system. I just need to learn to keep my mouth shut and my head down, just for one more year."

"The bruises on your back that I saw," Regina breathed, coming to a sad realization. "Those were because of him."

"Yes." Emma no longer denied it. She looked Regina dead in the eyes and reiterated, "You _can't_ call the cops. I only have until I turn 18, and then I'm out of the system forever. If I go back now, everything I've worked so hard for will be lost. I'll have to leave my friends, my job, my teammates. _You._ I can't leave you. You…you're the best thing that's happened to me, in my whole life."

"Emma," Regina sobbed, tears springing forth unbidden from her eyes. "You-you can't say things like that, I can't…I can't stop myself from…you're making it so _hard_ to…" she choked on her words, her emotions threatening to overwhelm her.

And then Emma pounced. She jumped into Regina's lap and wrapped her arms around her neck and the force of the impact sent Regina falling back onto her bed, Emma's body on top of her. Holding Regina in a bear hug, she sobbed against her neck. "I know," she wailed, her voice muffled. "I know, it's a lot to ask. I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry to put this on you."

Regina wrapped her arms around Emma's waist, pulling her closer as they sobbed together. Regina held on tightly, never wanting to let go, and they laid that way for a long while, letting each other cry, until both had no more tears left. Then Emma slowly pulled back and leaned up on her elbows, face hovering over Regina's. "I'm sorry I made you cry," she whispered, using her thumbs to dry the remaining tears from Regina's cheeks. "I only ever want to see your smile."

Emma's face was so close, Regina could feel the breath from her words against her face. "I can't smile when you don't," Regina whispered, reaching up to wipe Emma's tears in return. "I can't bear to think what else you've gone through, what else you haven't told me. You deserve the world, Emma. Not this."

"Well," Emma sniffed, "If everyone got what they deserved, the world would be a much better place."

"If that isn't the truth," Regina deadpanned.

Emma stood up off of Regina and stretched. "I need to get back home," she said then. "James is passed out cold on the couch, I think, but if he wakes up and checks up on me, I'm screwed if I'm not there."

Regina shook her head. "Don't go back there," she begged. "Please."

"Regina, I have to," Emma said firmly. "Nine and a half more months. I know what to do to avoid his anger, I just need to learn to keep my mouth shut. I'll be fine, Gina. I've survived this long. I'm seventeen now, I'll age out of the system by October. It's not that far off."

Regina nodded sadly. "I just…I want to keep you here. Keep you safe."

"I know. But I have to go back. If I don't, I'll make everything much, much worse."

Regina finally relented, then remembered Emma's Christmas present still under their tree. "Oh, wait a moment!" she said, rushing out of the room as quietly as she could. "I'll be right back!"

She tiptoed quickly down the stairs and grabbed the small parcel with Emma's name written neatly on the tag. Carrying it back up the stairs, she closed her door behind her and handed the present over. "Here. Merry belated Christmas, Emma."

Emma sat back down on the bed and unwrapped her gift. Removing the lid, she gasped in complete shock and covered her mouth to muffle the sound. "Oh my god," she mumbled through her fingers. "Regina…" she pulled out a stunning sea-green, strapless evening gown. She held it in her hands, running her thumbs over its satiny surface in awe.

"It's one of my mother's designs," Regina stated proudly. "You said you loved her clothes, but couldn't really afford any. I saw this one, and the color matches your eyes, so I knew I had to get it for you. I had to estimate your size, but any alterations that need done, I know a guy."

"Thank you so much, Regina, you didn't need to…"

"That's not the only thing in the box," Regina interrupted her. "Keep going."

The next thing Emma pulled out was a small jewelry box. Upon opening it, she discovered a silver necklace, with a silver pendant in the shape of a swan. On the swan's wing sat two birthstones: opal and amethyst. "It's kind of like the one I bought for you," she said in wonder. "A swan for my last name?" she questioned.

Regina nodded. "You haven't told me why your last name is Swan, but I know that that's not a name that just gets bestowed on someone. You picked it. I don't know why or how, but I know you, and I know names hold meaning to you. I hope you like it…"

Emma launched off the bed and wrapped her arms around Regina's neck. "This means more to me than you can imagine," Emma murmured. "Thank you so much."

"You're welcome. That's also not the end of your present," Regina added, clearing her throat. "One more thing."

Emma then pulled an envelope out of the bottom of the box. She opened it gingerly and her hand flew back up to her mouth.

"An invitation to Henry Mills's next book launch party," she gasped.

"I didn't give you the dress for no reason," Regina said. "I want you to wear it when you go with us to New York, where the launch party is happening. It's not until June, so it'll be warm enough to wear something like that. We'll get you a good pair of shoes to match your dress. I would have bought them for you too, but I don't know your shoe size."

Emma was hugging Regina again, arms tight around her neck. "You are amazing," Emma sobbed, fresh tears spilling out and falling on Regina's shoulder. "You make me feel so special."

"You _are_ special, Emma Swan," Regina whispered, burying her face into Emma's hair. They hugged for a moment more, then Emma cast a glance at the clock, which read 4:23 a.m. She sat back down and quickly packed her gifts back up in the box. "Keep this here, please," she said. "If James finds this in my room, he'll know I snuck out. And I don't want to risk any of this being destroyed in one of his fits. Do you promise you won't tell anyone? If I go back to the group home, I won't be going to the book launch party," she warned almost jokingly.

"That's not funny," Regina scowled, and at least Emma had the decency to look contrite. "I know, I'm sorry. Please, though."

"I won't say anything, but please, any time you can, come over. Don't be in that house unless you absolutely need to be."

"What do you think I've been doing these past few months?" Emma reminded her. "I practically live here, remember?"

She made her way over to the window and opened it back up, preparing to climb back down. "How did you even get up here?" Regina asked again. Emma pointed to the lattice work by the window. "It's insanely easy to climb," she boasted. "Up. We'll see about down. I _am_ a klutz, after all." She gave Regina a wry smile and said, "Good night, Regina. Happy New Year."

With that, she descended the lattice work like a pro and started her trudge back to her own house. Regina left the window open and watched Emma walk down the street, letting the cold winter air cool her overheated skin.

Then, when Regina had seen Emma climb the siding of her house and disappear into her own window, Regina closed hers up and dove into her bed, grabbing a pillow and yelling into it in frustration, sadness and anger, heart pounding in her ears.

Emma was being abused. Regina rolled over, staring up at her ceiling once more. She'd suspected it, but she'd hoped she was wrong. Now that it was confirmed, Regina swore that she would protect Emma as best she could. Even if she never told Emma how she felt about her, she was damn well going to show her.

* * *

 

School started again that following week, and Regina found she was excited to get back to her routine.

Regina gave all her friends their presents: a fancy new watch for Neal, nice red seat covers for Ruby's new red convertible (red was her favorite color after all), a stylish book bag for Belle, and a leather quiver for Robin's arrows. They were all shocked and excited, and eager to bestow their gifts to Regina: Neal had bought her a simple but stylish planner (she could tell he had _no_ idea what to purchase for her, and the gift earned him some good-natured ribbing, but Regina was thankful that he'd thought of her at all), and Ruby bestowed upon her a beautiful charm bracelet. Belle gave her gift to Regina in private, and Regina was shocked to discover that Belle had a sly streak to her: the gift was The Complete Poems of Sappho, the very book that she'd snuck out of the library on that day so long ago, only this one was inconspicuously bound in leather and displayed no title on the front. "I could tell those poems resonated with you," Belle said, her tone serious but her eyes alight. "So I figured I'd buy you your own copy…one you don't have to hide behind your Biology book. I hope you like it."

Regina laughed hugged her, whispering good-naturedly, "You're a menace. Thank you."

And Robin, sweet, thoughtful Robin, had bought her a humidity-controlled reed case to keep her saxophone reeds in, and a beautiful silver saxophone keychain. "For when you get your car," he said shyly, turning pink and scratching at his stubble. Regina hugged him tightly and thanked him.

Since the snow had postponed the Storybrooke band's holiday concert, they performed that following Friday to a packed auditorium.

Emma, Ruby and Belle sat in the front row, and they were the first to leap onto their feet for a standing ovation at the end of Regina's solo in "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree".

And a week after that, Storybrooke High students were swamped in school work and midterms. Emma had picked up extra shifts at the diner to save more money and avoid going home, and Regina barely saw any of her friends during that time, except in the classes she shared with them and at lunch.

Pretty soon midterms ended, and Regina's seventeenth birthday came round.

After practically inhaling her favorite breakfast, fried eggs and ham with saltine crackers (made deliciously by Eleanor, who hugged her and wished her a happy birthday), she practically ran out the door to meet Emma to carpool to school, and she just about fell over in shock.

Emma had parked her yellow Beetle in the driveway, and was making conversation with Henry, but that's not what was shocking.

There, next to Emma's car, was a pristine, sleek black 80's model Mercedes Benz. "Oh my God," Regina screamed, "Daddy, what is that?"

Cora came up behind Regina and squealed, "Surprise! Happy birthday, darling girl!" She hugged her daughter tightly.

Henry, beaming, gestured to the car. Regina wriggled out of her mother's grasp and ran over to her father, grasping him tightly in a bear hug. "Oh my God," she repeated, covering her mouth with her hands in disbelief. "My own car?"

"Found this thing for a steal," Henry said proudly, smiling from ear to ear. "And today, I figured you could stay home from school, and we'd make our way to the DMV for your driving test. Want to get your license on your birthday, _princesa?_ "

Regina had memorized her driving pamphlet, and had practiced driving Emma's car around the school's empty parking lot and to school and downtown and back, and had become fairly decent at driving, but was she ready to get her license?

_Hell yes._

So Henry called the school to excuse Regina's absence and handed over the shiny new car keys, which Regina immediately put on her new saxophone keychain.

"She's a beauty," Emma said, nudging Regina's side with her elbow. "Not as much personality as mine, but she's perfect for you."

"Oh, haha," Regina snarked, nudging Emma back. "You're _hilarious._ Get to school. I have a license to obtain. _"_

"Break a leg," Emma grinned as she got into the driver's seat of her Beetle. "I'll see you later!"

Five minutes later, Regina was driving down the road to the neighboring city's DMV. The car ran smoothly and Regina found herself falling in love with it immediately. Henry praised her driving and boosted her confidence, and therefore she passed her test with flying colors.

A couple hours later, she was driving back home in possession of driver's license, the picture on the front of it a perfect capture of the joy she felt.

When she parked the car and she and Henry got out to go inside, Cora and Eleanor met them at the door. "We're going shopping!" Cora said excitedly, gesturing wildly like a madwoman. "Not only is it your birthday, but Eleanor here has been _such_ a wonderful new addition to our house, I figured we could treat her to lunch and buy her a few nice things!" Eleanor looked a little uncomfortable, but smiled anyway. "You're too good to me, ma'am," she said politely.

"Nonsense," Cora waved her statement away like an annoying fly. "Once you're family, you're family. Now get it in the Benz, my dear! Regina will be our chauffeur today!"

Regina hugged Henry goodbye really quick, giggling at his whispered "Good luck" in her ear, and then was back in her car, driving back to the neighboring city where she'd gotten her license just a short time before.

Hours later and her car loaded down with shopping bags, Regina finally returned to her home. The three women gathered up their purchases and walked through the front door…and Regina's bags went tumbling from her arms as she started violently, a cacophony of voices shouting "SURPRISE!" the second she put her foot into the sitting room.

The room was decorated with streamers and balloons, there was a banner over the doorway to the kitchen that read "Happy 17th Birthday, Regina!", and a two-tiered birthday cake sat proudly on the coffee table.

Emma, Neal, Robin, Ruby, Belle, and Henry had been the ones to shout at her, and now her friends were blowing into obnoxious noisemakers and glitter and confetti was flying around the room.

"Eleanor is going to kill you all," she gasped as she watched the confetti pieces fall onto her, the couches, chairs, and floor.

The room erupted in laughter, including Cora and Eleanor, who had walked in behind her. "Never been one for murder, lass," Eleanor giggled.

"Wow, thank you everyone," Regina said as soon as she recovered her wits and manners. "I was not expecting this at all!"

Her friends gathered round to hug her, and then Emma knelt down and gathered up the bags that Regina had dropped. "I'd say we shocked her pretty good, guys, this stuff doesn't look cheap enough to be carelessly dropped," she joked before saying, "I'll take this up to your room and then we can start the party!"

And the party was wonderful. Regina was showered with gifts, they all ate cake and ice cream until they were nearly sick, played board games and Henry even put on some Latin music and taught them all a few dance moves.

Finally, the party wound down and, to Regina's surprise and pleasure, all of her friends pitched in to help clean up and remove the decorations before going home. It was the best birthday Regina had ever had.

She sat in her window seat that night and stared over the now-familiar landscape of the street, and found herself gazing longingly at Emma's window…as she had taken to doing every night.

And, before long, she saw Emma's light turn on. She waited anxiously for their now nightly ritual: Emma would pull back her curtains and open her blinds, sit in a chair by the window, and stare right back at Regina.

They'd thought up a plan, in case Emma was ever in dire trouble: Every night, they would sit "together" in their windows for about fifteen minutes before bed, and Emma would grab her flashlight and send two flashes of light out toward Regina, signaling that the house was calm, there were no problems that night.

Three flashes of light meant James was drunk, and there may have been a fight, but Emma was okay.

Four, and Regina wondered if Emma would ever be brave or desperate enough to send that message, meant "Call the cops."

Right on time, Emma's curtains parted and her blinds raised. She sat down in her spot at the window, and then the flashlight beamed once, then again, and turned off for good. Taking a deep, calming breath, Regina smiled. Good, everything was calm in the Nolan house. A calming, reassuring ending to a perfect day.

She and Emma sat in their windows for awhile longer, just looking at each others' silhouettes, until finally Regina gave in to her exhaustion and stood. She saw Emma do the same, and together they closed their curtains, turned our their lights and crawled into their beds.

* * *

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: There is marijuana use in this chapter. It took me a long time to write, because I wasn't sure how it would be received. I am pro-legalization, but I feel the need to also warn that marijuana has shown to cause problems in brain development in adolescents, so I in NO WAY condone the use of illegal marijuana by underage people, or the irresponsible abuse of it by anyone. But, as I've said before, I'm not oblivious to what some high school kids do. So, again, MARIJUANA USE. If that is a trigger for you, I'll explain what happens in the chapter at the bottom of the page. Thanks for reading!

Months passed. Regina and her friends worked hard to maintain their grades and keep earning their paychecks, and soon talk of prom began to ring through the hallways.

Regina discovered that Neal had asked Emma to prom, and she had agreed. That alone sent money flying between the hands of their classmates as they'd taken that information as "Emma and Neal finally got together! Pay up!" when in reality, Regina knew that Emma still wasn't interested in Neal romantically. It was all for show. The knowledge didn't quell her jealousy, however. That was still flaring strong.

Regina had already informed her friends that she'd taken a shift at the boutique that night so that Lily and Belle could go to their last prom, being seniors and all. Lily and Graham had gotten together officially and the school was allowing him to accompany her even though he was no longer a student.

Belle was going with Ruby, as neither had dates of their own but didn't want to miss out on their senior prom. The two girls had grown close lately, and Regina had a sneaking suspicion that there was more going on there than a simple friendship, but she didn't pry. Belle had kept a huge secret for her, so Regina kept her nose out of Belle's business in return.

Emma at first was chagrined at the news that Regina wouldn't be attending. "I needed you there," she whined during one of their sleepover nights as they sat in front a chess board, playing an intense game. "With you there, I wouldn't have to dance with Neal much. And now…"

"Now, Belle and Ruby will be there to dance with. They're 'going stag together', after all."

"Oh please, you know that's a bunch of bullshit. They're crushing hard on each other."

"I'd assumed the same, but we don't know that."

"Trust me, Queenie. They're going to be an item before long."

Regina just laughed. "I'm sorry," she said then, moving one of her pawns to overtake one of Emma's. "Mother needs me to cover the shop that night. And since I don't have a date…nor an interest in one" - _You liar,_ a little voice whispered in the back of her mind- "there's really no reason for me to go. If you didn't want to go with Neal, you could have just said no."

"Regina, it's _prom_ ," Emma whined, making her next move on the board, a terrible move that left her king wide open.

"You're a sloppy player, Swan." Regina chastised. "Checkmate."

"Maybe I just need a better _teacher._ "

"I didn't even _teach_ you, you already knew how to play…"

"But you're better than me, so you need to show me how to get that good!"

"All you have to do is ask, don't get your panties in a bunch."

"I don't wear _panties_ , Regina."

"What?"

Realizing what she'd just said, Emma's entire face (and ears, Regina noticed) turned red. "I, uh…"

Emma didn't wear underwear? That knowledge made Regina's skin prickle and her stomach to drop. A warmth began in the pit of her belly.

"Come to prom," Emma said, still red in the face, leaning forward to reset the chess board. "Please?"

"I can't," Regina sighed, allowing her to steer the conversation away from dangerous territory. "I already promised Mother."

"Fine," Emma said, leaning back and crossing her arms. "Then you're coming to the after-party at Neal's house. His dad's going away on a business trip that weekend so Neal's going all out. Don't tell people, though. The only people who know are the people _allowed_ to know."

"Oh, so after prom everyone is going to Neal's to, what, get drunk and have…intercourse?"

Emma rolled her eyes, looking agitated. "Sex," she said slowly, making Regina's entire body crackle with a feeling like electricity as the word escaped her mouth. "Say 'sex', Regina. You've said it before. 'Intercourse' makes you sound like you're forty."

"Sex, then, Emma," Regina breathed out, and she heard Emma make a strange little noise in her throat before coughing. "Better," she said through her coughing. "But no, it's not going to be like that. Yeah, there will be alcohol and yes, maybe some sex, but most of us are just going to hang and play video games, have a few beers and whatnot. Too good to get involved with the commoners after the ball, Queenie?"

"We shall see."

In the end, Regina found herself going prom shopping with her friends, helping them find their dresses, and thinking about how she was going to get out of going to the after party. She'd thought about going at first, but decided that an unsupervised party at someone's house was much more risky than a bonfire on a beach, and she felt herself dreading even the thought of going. But she hadn't given a definitive answer yet, so as not to disappoint Emma.

Emma stopped in to see Regina at Queen of Hearts before the prom. And when Regina saw her, her mouth dropped open.

Emma's hair was in a braided crown around her head, and some pieces of her golden hair fell down loose. She wore a bright red, floor-length dress that hugged her form tightly, accentuating her curves and angles, before flaring out at the knees. She looked taller than usual, and Regina looked at her feet to see she was wearing six-inch sandal-strapped heels. "Oh, Emma," she breathed, coming out from where she had been arranging a clearance display. Emma blushed and approached her, folding her hands together at her waist nervously. "Do I look okay?" she asked shyly.

Emma had on more makeup than Regina had ever seen her in, but the look was breathtaking. Her eyes were smoky; dark colors surrounding green irises making the green stand out like never before. Red lipstick, the same shade as her dress, brought attention to her thin lips, making them look soft and completely kissable. The desire to do just that, to smear that red lipstick with her own mouth, to muss that hair and wrinkle that dress, was sudden and fierce and terrifying. Regina's blood rushed to her head, making her dizzy, and she had to swallow, close her eyes for a moment and clench her hands into fists, as though they might betray her and reach for Emma without her permission. "You-you are stunning," Regina said truthfully, her eyes locking with Emma's.

Emma grinned brilliantly at her. "You wouldn't believe how long it took to get ready," she giggled. "Ruby took Belle and me to the salon today. I'm never doing that again."

Regina laughed hollowly and automatically, her eyes still scanning the beautiful form under the dress.

"But maybe it was worth it, if even _you_ are staring like that," Emma laughed, sounding a little tense. "Seriously, you okay?"

Before Regina could answer, Cora swept out of the back room. "Oh, darling!" she cried upon seeing Emma. "I thought I heard your voice!" She pulled Emma to her and kissed both of her cheeks. "You look like you belong on the red carpet! What an absolute showstopper you are. Where's Neal? I need to get a picture of you together."

"He's uh, he's already there," she admitted sheepishly. "We just decided to take separate cars, and there will be a chance to take pictures at the prom. I was just…stopping in to show Regina the finished product." she laughed again, casting another strange look at Regina.

"Well," Cora sighed, "I suppose I'll just have to take a picture of the two of you then. Regina's in one of my better suits from this year's spring line…it's practically a women's tuxedo! Doesn't she look lovely, too?" she nudged Emma with her elbow and winked.

Regina's suit was definitely a feminized tux, the suit jacket flaring out at the waist over high-waisted, slim-fitting black pants and a crisp white blouse, top three buttons unbuttoned to accentuate what little bust Regina had. On her feet were simple black closed-toed heels.

Emma gave Regina's look a once-over and her voice was lower than usual when she said, "Yes, she does."

Regina felt her face heating up and she cleared her throat. "Yes, well, tonight isn't about me, is it?" she smiled. "You'd best get going before you're late."

"I'm getting that picture first, you two," Cora reminded them. She pulled out her phone and said, "The cell phone camera will have to do, I didn't bring my good one with me to work. Smile!"

Emma wrapped her arm around Regina's waist and they smiled robotically for the picture, and waited for Cora to inspect the image. She hummed in approval before saying, "I've got to get back to the back, I'm going through the inventory _again,_ " Cora announced, rolling her eyes dramatically. "Have a wonderful night, Emma." With another kiss to Emma's cheek, Cora was gone as fast as she'd appeared.

"Regina," Emma began, stepping closer. "I…really wish you could come."

"There's always next year, Emma. Senior prom is the one to go to, is what I've heard. I'll go all out then. Go have fun. You look…wow, Emma," she laughed breathlessly, running a shaky hand through her hair.

Emma took a step closer, and Regina found herself being pulled into Emma's arms. She returned the embrace, trying not to pay attention to the soft press of Emma's breasts and hips against hers and failing miserably. "What's this for?"

"You just looked uncomfortable," Emma joked in her ear.

Regina pulled back immediately and swatted Emma on the arm. "Get out," she ordered playfully. Emma stuck her tongue out at her and said, "Don't forget, you're coming to the after party or I'm going to kidnap you myself."

"Fine, fine," Regina said, turning and waving over her shoulder nonchalantly, and then sighed and rubbed at her eyes when she heard the tinkling of the shop bell, indicating Emma had left.

She was a lost cause, seriously.

Regina knelt down to fold a few pairs of pants, and Cora came out again, carrying more items to place on the clearance rack. "I am sorry I asked you to work tonight," she said, and she really did sound regretful. Regina smiled sadly up at her and said, "Mother, it's fine. I didn't have a date anyway, and going stag just doesn't sound that much fun. I'd much rather earn some extra money and spend time with my wonderful mother." She grinned cheekily with those last words, and Cora harrumphed. "You don't have to butter me up, you know," she said, mock-glaring at Regina. "I already know you want to go to the after-prom party. I know what happens at these kinds of parties, and I-"

"I don't want to go," Regina interrupted quietly.

"Excuse me?" Cora asked, looking shocked. Regina huffed out a laugh at her reaction and repeated, "I don't want to go. A house party…it sounds a lot different than a beach party. There's rooms, and beds, and…I am not comfortable with it. Maybe next year, but not this year. So…can I tell Emma you said I can't go?" she glanced up at Cora hopefully.

Cora frowned and replied, "And make me look stuck up and mean to our dear Emma?" she sounded serious, but Regina noticed a twinkle in her eye and a twitch of her lips that meant she was fighting back laughter. "No, dear. If _you_ don't want to go, you tell her yourself that you decided not to go." Regina looked back down at her work, feeling ashamed.

"However," Cora added, kneeling down and enveloping her daughter in a warm hug, "I'm so very proud of you. I was going to let you go to the party, and then spend all night worrying about you and if you would make good decisions. So, your very responsible choice to stay away makes me so proud. And a little unsure if you're my biological daughter," she joked then, smacking a quick kiss on Regina's cheek. "Now get back to work, looks like a few people are about to come in."

Sure enough, a car had parked outside and a well-dressed group of women were flocking to the door, giving Regina plenty to do over the next couple of hours.

* * *

 

Regina's shift finally ended at ten, because she and her mother had stayed late to finish inventory and update the sales on the website. When she got into her car to drive home, she sent Emma a quick text.

" _I'm sorry, but I don't want to go to the party. Had a late night, just got off work."_

She waited for a couple of minutes, but when she didn't receive a text, she just shrugged. Emma probably didn't have her phone on her. She was probably dancing the night away.

She went home, bade goodnight to her mother in the foyer, and made her way to her room where she took a leisurely shower.

When she was finished, she got out, dressed in a comfortable pair of sweatpants and a form-fitting tee, and she was drying her hair when she saw her phone light up with a message from Emma.

_I didn't want to go either. I'm in the garden._

Regina turned off her blow dryer and piled her damp hair up into a messy bun, heart pounding with anticipation, and slipped on a pair of flats and a jacket before quietly making her way downstairs and out the back door.

Emma was sitting on the old bench swing, still in her prom dress but wearing a hoodie over it, rocking the swing back and forth.

"Hey," Regina said as she approached her, then carefully lowered herself onto the swing when Emma slowed it to a stop for her.

"Hey," Emma said in a low voice, pushing her toes into the ground to get the swing started again.

"How was prom?"

"It was super boring," Emma grouched, and that's when Regina noticed she was holding what looked like a really skinny cigar in her hand. "I'm sorry," Regina said, eyeing the skinny cigar warily. "I didn't know you smoked cigars…"

Emma laughed quietly and lifted the burning cigar to her mouth. "It's not a cigar, Queenie," she whispered conspiratorially. Regina furrowed her brow when the smell hit her. "No, it's definitely not," she realized. "Is that…marijuana?"

Emma nodded, exhaling the stinky smoke. "Yeah, yeah it is."

"Oh."

They sat there in silence for a few seconds, then Emma held the joint out to Regina. "Want some?"

"Oh, I don't think…I've never tried it," Regina stuttered nervously. "Zelena tried to make me eat a 'special brownie' once but I was too scared," she admitted.

Emma nodded and took another hit. "It's cool if you don't want to do it," she said. "I'm not going to force you. But I needed some tonight, I hope you don't mind."

Regina shook her head. "No, it's okay. Did…did something happen?"

Emma looked up through the trees and at the cloudy midnight sky. "Kinda," she said vaguely. "Let this stuff do its job for a minute and then I'll tell you about it."

They sat there silently for another few minutes as Emma puffed on her joint, and Regina watched as she relaxed visibly, her eyes going glassy and her mouth lifting up into a soft smile. "There we go," she breathed.

"Feel better?" Regina asked awkwardly. Emma giggled. "Yeah, I do. Definitely feel ready to talk to someone, and I'd prefer it be you if you don't mind."

"Of course, Emma," Regina assured. "You can tell me anything."

Emma frowned then. "Are you sure? You won't judge me for anything, right?"

"Never."

Emma smiled again, then held out the joint once more. "You might want a hit of this before I start."

"Please, Emma, just tell me. Is it James again? Were you hurt? Did Neal do something?"

Emma put her hand on Regina's thigh. "No," she whispered. "It's nothing like that. Okay, here goes…Regina, I'm gay."

The words hit Regina like a freight train. Her mouth went dry and her heart began to pound in her chest. "Um. Can I try to take a…a hit?" She decided in a split second that she needed to be on whatever plane of existence Emma was on to process the information in a calm manner and not throw herself into Emma's arms with her own admissions.

Emma gave a dry laugh and handed it over, instructing Regina on how to do it. "Inhale as much as you can, and hold it as long as you can. You're probably going to cough. I have a bottle of water here beside the swing if you need it."

And boy, did Regina need it. The second the smoke hit her lungs, she choked up and began to cough forcefully. Emma quickly handed her the water bottle and she gulped some down before wiping away the tears that had been produced. "Oh, that's awful," she rasped. Emma nodded and said, "Yeah, the first time is always the worst. It should be easier if you want to try again."

And try again she did. This time, she managed to hold the smoke in for a few seconds before releasing it in another violent cough.

"One more ought to do it," Emma encouraged, and Regina took one more drag before handing it back to Emma, who snuffed it and put it in her hoodie pocket.

Regina took one more drink from the water bottle and noticed she was already feeling different. Her head felt…airy, and she became hyper-aware of the rustle of the leaves and grass in the night breeze. "Oh, wow," she said softly.

"Yeah," Emma smiled. "So…back to the whole 'me being gay' thing…"

"Yes," Regina said, her tongue feeling a bit thick in her mouth. "How…when…?" she couldn't seem to form an entire sentence, but Emma got the gist.

"So, I get to the prom, right? And Neal is there, and he looks really handsome in his suit. So I start thinking, 'Why the hell aren't we a couple? He's good-looking, smart, athletic, and he's been one of my best friends since I moved here. Why the hell am I not attracted to him?' And see, it's something that I had been pondering for awhile, but it hasn't been at the forefront of my mind, you know? Tonight, it was right there, and the only thing I could focus on."

Regina nodded and hummed, letting Emma know she was still listening. Emma sighed and tilted her head back again. "I really wish I could see the stars tonight," she mused. "Anyway, so I dance with some people and get some punch and food, and an hour later I needed to use the bathroom. So I walked into the ladies' room, where I witnessed Ruby pressing Belle to the wall in the last cubicle. They forgot to lock it or whatever. But I saw them, Gina…kissing, Ruby's hand under Belle's dress, they were breathing heavy…and it hit me."

"What hit you?" Regina asked, her mind already lost in the visual that Emma had just painted.

"I was…turned on. Seeing them. I know they're my friends or whatever but seeing that kind of…affection, between two girls, really shook me, you know? Well, you probably don't know," she laughed then. "But it was like something came alive inside me. I don't know how to describe it. And I realized, I've been feeling weird things for a long time now. Well, 'weird' isn't the word for it, but I've felt _different_. I see women as attractive. I don't get jealous of other girls, or want to look like them. I just…look _at_ them. I've kind of known, for awhile now, but it's like it was confirmed tonight. I want to date a girl. I want to kiss a girl. Hell, I might even want to fuck a girl, Ruby sure makes it sound like it's the best thing ever. But yeah…I just wanted to get it out. It was like, filling me up inside and threatening to burst if I didn't tell someone. And now I'm rambling, I'm sorry. Are you okay, Gina? Did I weird you out?" Emma was concerned now, her glassy eyes on Regina's face as the brunette tried to process everything she'd just heard.

"Um, yes," Regina said distractedly, trying to get her brain to focus. "No! No, you didn't weird me out. I..I'm glad you told me, Em," she whispered, her mind swimming. "I was just shocked, that's all…I would never judge you for that, how could I? You're my best friend."

Emma's smile could have lit up the sky all on its own. "I'm your best friend?" Emma asked coyly. Regina nudged her with her elbow. "Of course," she confirmed. "It doesn't bother me that you're a lesbian, Emma. I like you for who you are, not who you're attracted to."

 _Ugh, you idiot_ , a little voice in Regina's head whispered. _Just tell her you're probably gay too._

 _Shut up,_ Regina thought in response to the little voice. _You're under the influence. Now is Emma's time to come out,_ not _mine._

"I didn't think you would be, because I know how much you love Ruby. I thought of telling her first, because…well, obvious reasons. She's a lesbian, and she would understand. But then I thought maybe she'd think I was hitting on her, or maybe she wouldn't take me seriously…I needed to tell you. I'm glad I made the right choice."

Regina pulled Emma into a hug, trying to ignore the fact that her limbs felt awkward and heavy. She felt like a sloth. She tried to ignore it, but the more she tried, the more she thought about it.

"You okay there, Gina?" Emma asked from the crook of Regina's neck. Regina could feel her smile against her skin and tried to ignore the jolt of arousal that caused. Again, tried to ignore but ended up only being able to focus on Emma's mouth on her neck.

"I, uh, feel like a sloth," came the asinine thought she hadn't meant to let escape right out of her mouth.

Emma pulled away, laughing. "Yeah, you're really high. It's okay, I am too."

"It doesn't feel at all how I expected," Regina said thoughtfully. "Everyone talks about it as some horrible drug, but I just feel…heavy. Relaxed. Happy."

"Yep," Emma grinned. "It's only bad if you abuse it. Like, don't get super high and drive. I've been around my alcoholic foster dad for two years now, and I've drank some, and if that stuff can be legal then I think weed should be. Legalized and taxed just like alcohol and tobacco, and just watch the liquor and cigarette sales decline. And then everyone is chill, there's world peace, the works."

Regina snorted with amusement. "Marijuana will bring world peace, huh?" she giggled. "If only it was that simple…" She trailed off, suddenly really concerned about world peace. Could it happen? Was _weed_ the key? Human greed was a horrible thing, could world peace even be a possibility while there were greedy people on the planet still?

"Yo, Gina, don't go down that rabbit hole or you won't come up for hours," Emma said, snapping her fingers in front of Regina's face, making her blink and distracting her from her thoughts. What were her thoughts?

"I don't remember what we were talking about," Regina admitted, feeling kind of hazy.

"We were talking about how I'm hungry and I really want to get out of this dress."

Somehow, Regina was sure that hadn't been the topic of conversation before now. "Oh, um…do you want to come in? You can borrow some pajamas and we can see what's in the fridge."

"Nah, it's okay. I can go home."

"It's really no problem," Regina assured her. "Come on in. It's getting cold."

* * *

 

Ten minutes later, Emma had changed into a pair of Regina's pajamas and the two girls were staring at the refrigerator blankly. "Why am I so hungry?" Regina asked as she stared at the fully stocked compartment.

"It's a side effect. Ooh, Eleanor bought strawberries! Think there's any whipped cream in here?"

"Yeah," Regina said, trying to focus her eyes. "It's in the door, there, behind the jam."

"Oh, I see it," Emma asked, then turned around and closed the door to the fridge with her foot, holding a container of strawberries and a can of Cool-Whip. "We're going to have a feast," she whispered excitedly, placing the items on the table before helping herself to a strawberry, covering it in a ridiculously large amount of whipped cream before shoving it into her mouth. "Mmm," she moaned happily.

That moan resonated in Regina and she couldn't help but notice how erotic the scene before her was. _No. Bad!_

She averted her eyes before grabbing her own strawberry and spreading some of the cream on it. When she took a bite, the flavor was intense and washed over her taste buds pleasantly. "Oh," she exclaimed softly. "That's so good. Why is it better than usual?"

"Another side effect," Emma whispered through a wide grin.

The girls polished off the strawberries and whipped cream in record time, made their way back upstairs and climbed into bed. Regina scooted close to Emma and started pulling the pins from her hair, and when Emma realized what she was doing, she faced away from her, a clear signal to continue.

Regina worked the pins and ties out of Emma's intricate hairdo, and when she was about halfway finished, Emma whispered, "Please don't tell anyone else, okay? About me…liking girls."

"I would never," Regina whispered back, running her fingers through Emma's hair to make sure she'd gotten everything out. "It's not my place," she continued, parroting what Belle had told her when this issue had been discussed.

"Okay, thank you," Emma said on a sigh. "I just…my foster parents can't find out. They're…well, _he_ is very vocal about his contempt for Ruby and all gay people. I'd be kicked out or worse if he found out."

"I won't, I promise," Regina whispered, then giggled. "So, Ruby and Belle, huh? Guess we were right."

"Oh man," Emma barked out a laugh. "Ruby was on her like a wolf on a deer, Gina. It would have been comical if it hadn't been so impacting."

"Did they see you when you walked into the bathroom?"

"No, they were lost in their own little world. I stared at them for like, ten whole seconds. Just watching Ruby's hand move, and the two of them kissing and making those noises…." she trailed off, and Regina felt her body grow warm with the description she'd provided. "Well," she said after clearing her throat, "I'm glad Ruby found someone else. Belle is definitely a better choice than Lily, in my opinion."

"Lily isn't really that bad," Emma said softly, sadly. "She made a mistake, a bad one, but I knew she always had a thing for Graham. I think Ruby did too. Lily was just…I don't know, experimenting? We're in high school, that's what we do. I can't defend how she hurt Ruby, but…"

"I know," Regina said. "You're her friend too. And I liked her before that night. But I like Ruby more and I couldn't stand to see her heartbroken. Do you….do you think it's just a phase, for you?"

Emma leaned her head back as Regina continued to run her fingers through her hair, completely absently at this point. She thought for a moment, then said, "I don't know. I don't think so. But I've never even kissed a girl, so really, what do I even know?"

"Would you like to kiss a girl?" The words were out before Regina could stop them, and her fingers got snagged in a particularly nasty tangle as the words came out.

"Ow, Gina," Emma said, pulling her hair away from Regina's fingers. "Buy me dinner before you pull my hair, okay?" Emma laughed, turning around to see that her friend was as red as a tomato. "Yeah, I wanna kiss a girl. Why do you ask?"

Too late to turn back now, Regina whispered, "You could kiss me. Just to see what it's like."

"Are you gay, too? Is this a coming-out party?" Emma grinned wickedly, moving closer. Regina felt her face heat up even more and she shook her head violently. "No, no," she said quickly, "I just want to help you, you know? Help you figure some stuff out. As your friend."

"Well, sure, then," Emma said, licking her lips. "Do we just…"

"Yeah, I mean…"

"Okay, then I'm just gonna…"

"Do we close our eyes?"

"I don't know, isn't it weird to keep your eyes open?"

"You could just…"

"We're going to make this awkward if we don't shut up,"

Emma's face was centimeters from Regina's now, and Regina could smell her familiar scent and the strawberries and cream still on her breath. "Then shut up," Regina said boldly.

"Yes, Your Majesty," Emma breathed as she closed the gap between their lips.

And oh, Robin's kiss had nothing on this. Fireworks exploded behind Regina's eyelids and spread down her body, lighting every nerve ending on fire. The firm press of Emma's lips against her own made her head spin and her belly pool with arousal. The kiss was over before they knew it, and they both stared at each other for a second before Emma lunged in again, grabbing Regina's face in her hands and pulling their lips back together.

They kissed harder this time, and Regina gasped when she felt Emma's tongue probing at her lips, which opened her mouth and granted Emma access inside. When their tongues met for the first time, Regina was positive she was going to spontaneously combust. Emma tasted of strawberries, cream, and something else that was uniquely Emma, and Regina couldn't stop the moan that bubbled up out of her throat.

Emma's arms were around her neck now, and she was pushing her back into her headboard, kissing her long and deep and Regina had _never_ been this turned on before. The press of Emma's body against hers, the taste and feel of her mouth, the passion with which she was kissing her…Regina was _aching_. So bad she was quivering. When Emma's tongue swiped hers again, she felt her hips lift off the bed automatically, arching up against her friend as her arms wrapped around her neck, pulling her closer. She needed _more_ , she needed to feel Emma completely against her, she _needed…_

A knock sounded on Regina's door then, causing the girls to practically jump apart.

"Regina? Is Emma in here? I heard voices," came Henry's voice through the door before he opened it.

Emma and Regina were sitting so far away from each other that they were practically falling off either side of the bed, their hair mussed and their faces red, but if Henry noticed, he didn't say a word. "Ah, there's my other girl," he smiled at Emma, walking into the room. "How was prom, my dear?"

"It was…really boring," Emma laughed, running a hand through her hair nervously. "Sorry if we woke you up."

"You didn't, Emma. I was working late in the study. I heard Regina go outside and then I heard the two of you raid the fridge a bit ago. Did you leave any strawberries for the rest of us?"

Emma and Regina glanced guiltily at each other before Regina murmured, "I'll go buy some more in the morning, Daddy."

Henry began to laugh. "Oh, you two look like toddlers who got caught in the cookie jar! I'm just giving you a hard time, no harm done. I'm sorry you didn't enjoy your night Emma. Is that why you came here instead of going to an after party?"

"Yes, sir. I hope that was okay," Emma said. Henry nodded, still chuckling. "You're always welcome here, Emma, you know that. You're good for my Regina."

He crossed the room to kiss the top of Regina's head, then did the same to Emma. "You girls get some sleep, okay? I have something to discuss with you both in the morning, so it's good you're already here," he said cryptically. " _Buenas noches_ , _mis ninas_." And with that, he left the room, pulling the door shut behind him.

"Holy shit," Emma breathed after a few seconds. Regina erupted into hysterical giggles and fell over into the mattress, burying her face in the duvet. "Do you think he smelled the…smoke on us?" she asked, her voice muffled.

"I don't know, maybe? Shit, the joint is still in my pocket. Yeah, he probably smelled it. And if he didn't, he made it clear he heard us in the kitchen, and I was talking about 'side effects'…"

"It's a good thing my dad was a hippie, then. I'll probably be in trouble tomorrow anyway for it."

"I'm more worried if he could tell what we were doing a bit ago," Emma whispered, "And speaking of which, I am _so_ sorry. I took that further than you were probably comfortable with."

 _Oh, if only you knew the truth,_ Regina though sourly, sitting up to rub her eyes and soothe her aching cheek muscles from all the laughter. "You're fine. Did you figure it out?"

"Oh yeah. Um. Don't take this the wrong way, I'm not trying to hit on you or anything, but I am _definitely_ gay. Thanks for, uh, helping me out with that."

"No problem, it was just practice, think of it as practicing for a big softball game," Regina said, and when their eyes met, they dissolved into giggles once again. Emma then wheezed, "Yeah, I gotta get better at _pitching_ , for sure."

"Did you just make a lesbian sex joke?"

"Isn't that what I have to do now? Or is that tactless? Oh god, I know nothing about being a lesbian. Think Ruby would teach a class or something?"

"Stop, I can't breathe," Regina gasped, falling forward into her mattress again. Emma patted her softly on the back. "Oh shit, I think I broke you," she grinned. "Hang on to your heterosexuality, Queenie. Don't let me chase it away. I know I'm hot and everything, so I don't blame you, but…"

" _Stop_ ," Regina laughed, reaching over to blindly slap Emma on the knee. "Oxygen is a necessity and I'm not getting enough!"

They laughed for a few more seconds, and then Emma cleared her throat as Regina sat up again to wipe the tears from her eyes. "Look, in all seriousness," Emma said, all laughter gone, "Thank you. You didn't have to…kiss me. I don't want you to be weirded out, or anything…I mean, I'm still a little high so I know you are, and I don't want you to think I was like, taking advantage of you…"

Regina mustered up her courage and leaned forward, giving Emma a small peck on the lips. "I said, shut up," she whispered. "If I was uncomfortable, I wouldn't have offered."

It was as if Emma had been struck dumb by that small kiss. She sat there for a second, blinking rapidly, then smiled. "You're an awesome friend, Gina."

"I know. Let's go to bed."

"You know, the kiss was fine. You don't have to take it all the way to bed. I admire your dedication and everything-"

"Go to sleep," Regina said firmly as she turned off the light.

"Yes, Your Majesty."

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you chose to skip this chapter, I completely understand and I'm sorry that the subject matter wasn't tolerable for you. If you want to know what you missed, Emma came back from going to prom and sat with Regina in the garden, admitted to Regina that she was pretty sure she was gay, and Regina chose to smoke some weed with her. They talked about it, and Emma's confession, Regina supported her but didn't admit her own feelings, they ate some food, then Regina offered to let Emma kiss her, to "practice" for when she finally kissed someone she was interested in. They kissed, it got a bit intense, some jokes were shared, and Henry interrupted but didn't catch them. And all is well and happy, which will change in a couple chapters lol.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO SORRY this update has taken forever, and I apologize again because I've got a week to plan my son's fourth birthday, and three weeks before I'm heading to Denver for the Once Upon a Time convention! I'm going to meet Lana! (and a few others) so I'm going to be swamped and won't have time to write until I come home. So the next chapter will probably come in the middle of June. I fully expect I'll be filled with ideas when I come back from con, so I should get back to regular updates again.   
> Thanks for sticking with this story even though I'm being pretty unreliable. But I promise, I won't abandon this story. I'm proud of it, and I won't let it die.   
> Anyway, I'll let you get on to reading.

"So, here's the thing, girls. I am old, but I am not stupid. I would definitely prefer, if you choose to partake in illegal, underage tomfoolery, that you would keep the evidence out of my house. I am glad that you chose to do it here, where you are safe, but do not ever bring the substance into our home again. I hope you can understand why I have to make this rule."

"Yes, sir," Regina and Emma mumbled, heads bowed in shame, as they sat in Regina's bed. Henry had come in early, shut the door, opened Regina's window and forced Emma to hand over the last of the joint, and he then flushed it down the toilet and sat down at the end of the bed to talk to them. "I'm sorry," Emma piped up. "It was my fault, sir. I brought it…and I know I shouldn't have."

"She didn't force me to try it, I wanted to…"

"I was really down about prom and upset about some stuff and…"

"Daddy, please. I'm so sorry."

Henry held up a hand and glanced at the closed door, making sure Cora wasn't within earshot. "It's over, it's done. Emma, I won't tell your parents about it this time, but _only_ this time, you understand? You girls have a bright future, and I don't want to see it ruined. Emma, if you ever need someone to talk to, if there's something in your life that's driving you to alcohol and drugs, I hope you know I'm always here to lend an ear. Cora and I have grown very fond of you in the short time we've known you, and you're already like a daughter to us. We're here for you."

"Yes, sir. Thank you. I understand," Emma said morosely, tears shining in her eyes. "If I ever need to talk, I'll come to you. I promise."

" _Bueno._ Now, Regina, I will not tell your mother about it this time, all right? This _one_ time. But don't think you're getting off the hook easily. Your punishment will be to drive me to the nursery today, to pick out bulbs and bushes for the garden, and when we get back, you are going to dig up all the dead shrubbery and help me plant the new ones. Agreed?"

Regina actually felt a bit of excitement at that "punishment". "Yes, Daddy. I'll even buy the bulbs with my own money."

"That is not necessary, but if you insist."

"So," Emma began hesitantly. "The nursery, huh? I've never been in there. Can I go? Um, you know, and share some of the punishment?"

"Well, Emma, that was going to be the next thing I was going to say to you. I won't tell your foster parents, but you _will_ help Regina in the garden if you have nowhere to be today."

"I don't work today, so yes. Definitely. Thank you," Emma said in a rush.

Now, there's other important things to discuss," Henry said. "There's the matter of my book launch party, coming up in a couple of months. I trust Regina gave you your invitation?"

"Yes, sir," Emma confirmed.

"And your foster parents have consented to let you come with us?"

"Yes, sir. Kathryn and James are going on a couple's vacation in Cozumel that weekend, and they said it would be good for me to learn to socialize among the, uh, elite."

"Hm. We're far from the elite, but I see their point. You need connections for when you go to become a world-renowned chef," Henry said, winking at her. "Now, this is fantastic news, because I've already booked a seat in first class for you, next to Regina, on the flight to New York. I have also arranged an extra hotel room in the hotel where the event will be taking place, which you will be sharing with Regina. I have also arranged for all of your meals, and any shopping funds you may need."

"Oh, Daddy," Regina began, eyes welling up with grateful tears.

"Whoa. Um. Thank you," Emma said, her face turning pink. "But, I had planned to use my own money for it, I've been saving all of my paychecks and-"

"And you will continue to save them," Henry said. "You are coming as our guest, and will be treated as such. Now, I think it would be best if you both showered before breakfast." He looked at them both pointedly and tapped the side of his nose, indicating of course that they reeked of pot smoke. Then he stood up and exited the room, closing the door behind him.

The girls exhaled their remaining guilt and anxiety, then Regina got out of bed and walked to the bathroom, fishing out her air purifying spray before entering the room, spraying the stuff everywhere. "You can go ahead and shower," she said over her shoulder as she sprayed. When she finished and turned toward her friend, she was shocked to see that Emma had removed her night shirt and pants, standing before Regina in only a small thong. "Whoa, sorry," Regina said, quickly turning back around and drawing her curtains shut to allow Emma some privacy. Emma just laughed at her. "Oh, come on, Regina," she said, moving to stand in front of her in her mostly-naked glory. "You're a girl too. We've had this discussion. Unless…do I make you uncomfortable now that you know I'm a lesbian?" She lowered her voice for the last sentence, crossing her arms underneath her pert breasts, nipples hardening in the cool air and completely on display. Regina tried to look everywhere but there, and failed miserably. "I'm not uncomfortable," she pouted. "Just…used to privacy."

"Well, we're best friends now," Emma grinned, moving to grab hold of Regina's shirt and lift it over her head. "Part of the rite of passage into best friendship is showering together."

Regina didn't argue, just lifted her arms and allowed her shirt to be removed, surprised at how uncomfortable she _didn't_ feel with that action. She watched Emma's face as her own breasts were revealed, and wasn't disappointed to see Emma's pupils dilate and her throat work as she swallowed thickly. "See? Boobs, we both have them," Emma said, moving to poke the side of Regina's right breast. The feeling of her finger made Regina gasp, and Emma's eyes flickered to her face and then back to her breast, where her nipple was beginning to harden in reaction, before moving her hand away. "Sorry," she said. She then stepped back to remove her thong. Regina's eyes followed its descent, and then zeroed in on the soft blond curls between Emma's thighs before she tore her gaze away. "I uh, thought you didn't wear panties," she tried to joke as her body began to heat with arousal. Emma laughed. "I don't wear panties, I wear boxer briefs on most days. I wore a thong last night because I was in that damned dress."

"You wear men's boxer briefs? And you just _now_ figured out you're a lesbian?"

"Don't judge, they're comfortable. What do _you_ wear, Queenie?"

Gathering up her courage, Regina dropped her pajama bottoms to reveal her lace panties. "Oh, fuck," Emma said, staring blatantly. "You wear _that?"_

"Most of my underwear and bras are matching sets," Regina explained. "My mother enforced it, saying that one should be stylish down to their undergarments."

"Well, that's pretty good advice," Emma said distractedly as Regina moved to remove the garment, careful to hide the telling wet spot that had been a result of Emma's nudity. There they stood, then, naked in each others' presence, and then Emma sighed. "I'm going to be honest with you," she stated softly. "This was kind of a test."

"Oh?" Regina asked, feeling a bit wary all of a sudden. "What kind of test?"

"I wanted…to know if you actually felt comfortable, after…what I told you last night. I mean, we've been sleeping in the same bed and stuff, and I figured you'd…I don't know…"

"Be offended and assume that you could possibly want to just see me naked, for sexual reasons?" Regina finished for her. "I've told you, Emma, I don't care. You're my friend. If you want to…look at me, then look at me. It's not like you're forcing yourself on me."

"I'm sorry," Emma said. "I'm just…trying to figure things out. I shouldn't have tested you like that."

"No, you shouldn't have, but I passed. Are you going to join me in the shower or no?" Regina asked curtly, moving to enter the bathroom and start the shower. Before she could do so, Emma grabbed her arm and pressed her against the wall, placing a hand on either side of her head and staring into her eyes. Regina found herself both turned on and feeling ridiculous as they were both naked. "I don't understand you sometimes," Emma admitted, moving closer until their bodies and faces were inches apart. "You're helping me accept and become comfortable about who I am, sacrificing your pride and dignity or whatever to first kiss me and now shower naked with me. What do you get out of this? Help me understand."

Regina found her eyes wandering down Emma's torso again before locking back onto her eyes. "I care for you. No one should feel alienated because of their preferences."

They stared at each other for a moment more, and then Emma closed her eyes and stepped away. "We should shower separately," she said.

"Why? We're both already naked."

"Just…I can't stop from…you've done enough for me. And I need some time to think, if you don't mind."

"Of course, Emma."

"I'm sorry, Gina."

"Don't question my devotion to our friendship again, you understand?"

"Yeah, yeah, Queenie. I understand." And with that, Emma disappeared into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. Regina heard the shower start up, and then a strange thump against the wall, almost like Emma had punched it. The sound of the curtain closing came next and Regina sighed, sitting down on her bed and covering her face with her hands, trying to steady her heartbeat and stop the swimming in her head from seeing Emma completely naked. She was _beautiful_ , and Regina wasn't sure she could ever erase that vision from her mind.

As she started imagining Emma in the shower, Regina knew that _that_ particular visual was burned into her retinas for life.

A few minutes later, she heard a muffled sound, somewhere between a shout and a sob, from the bathroom. She jumped up and knocked on the door. "Emma? Are you okay?"

"Yeah…I'm…fine," came the breathless response. "Sorry, I slipped and almost killed myself in your shower. All's good though… I caught myself!"

Regina rolled her eyes. Emma really _was_ a klutz sometimes.

* * *

Hours later, Regina and Emma were soaked with sweat and covered with dirt as they struggled to uproot a particularly large dead bush.

"Why did I volunteer for this? Why didn't I just bail when I had the chance?" Emma grouched as she dug the shovel into the dirt again while Regina twisted the trunk around. "You know what," Regina retorted breathlessly, "This is fine. This garden has been driving me _insane_ since we moved up here. Better to be punished with something I've wanted to do. Daddy could have had us power-washing the house or cleaning the gutters or polishing the silver."

"I'm sorry I got you in trouble," Emma said, finally managing to pull the roots completely out of the ground, and helped Regina move it to the brush pile they'd started.

"It's fine," Regina huffed. "I'm not sorry I did it. It was fun, I felt relaxed and happy for a few hours."

"And I got to kiss a girl. Really, it was a win-win. But this is still kind of a punishment for me, anyway."

"Tough it out, you bad influence," Regina joked. "Don't wimp out on me now, we're not even halfway through."

"Ughhh."

Softball season had started back up, as did Regina's concert season with the school band. Between those two things and work, Regina and Emma barely saw each other anymore except at school, softball games (where Regina was usually in the crowd, yelling at the top of her lungs to cheer Emma on), and at night when Emma did her flashlight signals.

The next month passed in a blur of stress, determination and loneliness, but then the last day of school came and went, as did graduation for Ruby, Belle, Neal and Lily. Tears were shed, hugs were exchanged (except between Ruby and Lily), and the torch was passed.

Emma and Regina were almost officially seniors.

And in no time, Regina and Emma were packing for the trip to New York.

"I hate to admit this, but I'm so nervous," Emma said as she folded her clothes and shoved them into her little suitcase. "I mean, prom was fancy and everything, but this is a whole other ball game…"

Regina chuckled from her closet, where she was pulling out their dresses that she'd kept in garment bags since Christmas. "It's really not going to be that bad," she explained. "I'll talk you through it, okay?"

"You'd better."

"Here, turn around."

Regina was holding up Emma's swan necklace, the one she'd bought her for Christmas. Upon seeing it, Emma's face lit up and she turned around immediately, pulling her hair out of the way. Regina put the necklace on her and latched it, then grabbed Emma's hair and smoothed it back down the length of her back. "There you go, Swan," she said with pride. Emma fingered the beautiful swan pendant and turned, smiling at her friend. "Thanks."

"It still looks beautiful on you," Regina said softly, reaching up to touch it.

"I still love it. You're the best, Gina."

They smiled at each other, and then Henry yelled from downstairs, "Come on girls! Hurry up or we'll miss our flight!"

* * *

Two hours later, Emma was gripping the arm rests of her seat as the plane left the runway and soared into the sky. "Hey, you okay?" Regina whispered, reaching over to touch her on the arm.

"I've never been on a plane before," Emma ground out through gritted teeth.

"What?" Regina gasped. "But you go to New York all the time…"

"We _drive_."

"Oh."

The plane jerked a little as it hit turbulence and Emma turned white as a sheet, her eyes nearly bugging out. "Oh God," she rasped. "We're going to crash. We're going to die."

Regina laughed and shook her head. "No, Em. We're not. It's turbulence. Happens every time. It's okay. Breathe with me."

Regina worked with Emma on her breathing for almost a minute before Emma's eyes glassed over and her skin took on a sickly green color. Knowing the signs, Regina grabbed a sick bag and handed it to her friend just in time for Emma to grab it and violently vomit into it.

Regina's nose crinkled at the unpleasant odor, but she reached over and pulled Emma's hair away from her face, rubbing her back reassuringly as she heaved. "Shh, it's okay."

"This is so-" she gagged again, gasping, "-embarrassing, oh my God…"

"No, it's okay. Listen, there's a lady two rows back that's having a worse time than you right now," Regina whispered, and then they heard a violent retch behind them and Emma laughed weakly before heaving again.

Finally, spent, Emma closed up the sick bag and Regina reached into her carry-on, pulling out a container of wet wipes. "I sometimes get sick too," she admitted, handing a wipe to her friend. "It's normal. Nothing to be ashamed of."

The flight attendant collected the bag without comment, leaving a bottle of water on Emma's tray as well, and Emma finally seemed to relax as she wiped her face and took a drink of the water. "So," she said when she was done, "this is first class, huh? Wish I could compare it to coach, but seeing as how I've never flown before, I can already tell you I'll be ruined if I ever have to fly coach in the future."

Regina giggled and pulled out her headphones. "Want to listen to some music?" she asked, knowing what would make her friend feel better.

But as soon as Emma started playing music on her iPod, she gasped and leaned over Regina, staring out the window. "Oh my God," she breathed.

They were above the clouds now, and rather than look at the view, Regina looked at Emma. Emma was so close, she could smell her shampoo and perfume and yes, even some remnants of her vomit, but she didn't care. Emma's body pressed against hers and her eyes were glued to the sight out the window, so Regina took the time to study her friend's beautiful face. Her green eyes reflected the sun and her thin pink lips were parted. Regina felt the urge to taste those lips again, but then laughed at herself for thinking such thoughts after her friend had just upchucked her breakfast.

"Why are you laughing?" Emma asked, tearing her gaze away from the window. Their eyes met and Emma realized how close they were. "Oh. Sorry. I probably don't smell to great. Sorry." She leaned back and Regina shook her head. "No, it was nothing like that. I was just laughing at a thought I was having."

"Wanna share?"

"Nah. Not important."

"Okay."

"So, how do you like the view?" Regina asked. Emma's eyes went wide. "What do you think?" she asked. "It's breathtaking, looking at the Earth from this height. I'm amazed."

"Good," Regina said, shifting in her seat to get more comfortable. "I'm glad I was part of your first time seeing it."

"For sure. Me too."

When the flight attendant came to ask if they wanted food, Emma threw up again at the mere mention and Regina could do nothing but laugh and feel sorry for her friend.

From behind them, Cora got out of her seat and slapped Regina upside the head with a pamphlet. "Remember your manners. Your friend is sick. Don't be so rude as to laugh at her."

"Sorry, Mother," Regina snickered, and then gagged herself as Emma's stench wafted her way, causing Emma to laugh uproariously when she was done being sick. "Serves you right," she teased as she wiped her face clean once more.

* * *

"Okay, so, that was cool and all," Emma said when they landed in New York, "but can we like, rent a car for the trip back?"

The Mills just laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, there it is. I'm sorry it's so short and choppy, but I wanted to get out one more chapter before leaving it again for a month. Next chapter is the book launch party, and then drama and angst ensues. So, I'm warning you now so you can prepare for it. Lol let me know what you think!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys. I am SO SORRY for the long delay. I could bore you with all the details, but I'll spare you and just get on with it. Hope you enjoy, and hope it makes up for the wait.

Regina was one-hundred percent certain that she was not going to live through the night.

If Emma Swan had been stunning in her red prom dress, then she had achieved _goddess_ status in the sea-green dress that Regina had bought for her. Complete with silver heels, her swan pendant, golden curls, and a face full of bright, fresh makeup that made her green eyes match her dress, Emma was going to be solely responsible for a young-age heart attack in Regina. She was sure of it.

As Regina stood in awe, mouth agape, Henry and Cora swarmed Emma, fawning over how beautiful she was and how well the stylist had done on her look. Emma turned beet red and thanked them shyly before making eye contact with Regina. "Is it…okay?" she asked.

Regina snapped her mouth shut so hard her teeth hurt from the impact. "Beautiful," she whispered, attempting to smile, but feeling like she was going to faint any minute.

"You look amazing," Emma said then, biting her lip and smiling through her discomfort at being at the center of attention for a moment. "I don't know if I'd told you that yet or not."

"You did," Regina chuckled. She'd come out before Emma, wearing a tight black gown with a high neckline that ended in a choker-style around her neck. Her makeup was dark and smoky, and her hair had been French-braided and decorated with glittering diamond hair pins. Together, Regina and Emma appeared the epitome of light and dark, which Regina felt was fitting. Emma was the light in her life, after all.

"You both look absolutely breathtaking," Cora confirmed dramatically as she whipped out her camera. Regina groaned. "Mother, I'm going to hide that thing from you, I swear."

"Pawn it, put it on Ebay," Emma whispered, loud enough for Cora and Henry to hear, which left Henry in a fit of laughter.

"You two may hate it now, but later on in life you'll thank me for the memories I'm preserving. Now pose right there and show those teeth."

Regina moved closer to Emma and they wrapped their arms around each others' waists, turning to Cora. Emma plastered on a smile. Regina, however, bared her teeth in a mocking grimace.

"Regina Mills, I will not hesitate to ground you for the remainder of the year," Cora warned.

Rolling her eyes, Regina dropped the look and instead smiled sweetly. At the last second, she felt Emma's fingers tickling her ribs and she squealed, squirming with laughter, which made Emma laugh and move closer in an attempt to keep her from getting away.

The flash went off.

"Oh, Mother, that's not fair!"

Cora had gone quiet as she looked down at the picture on the screen. "Actually, this is perfect," she said in a low tone. "I'm keeping it."

Regina groaned.

* * *

"Whoa," Emma whispered as they walked into the gigantic bookstore that was hosting the event. The lighting was dim, but in a warm way. Rows and rows of books stretched all around, and up a winding staircase was another entire storey of wall-to-wall, ceiling-to-floor books.

All around them, men and women were dressed to the nines, in tuxedos and gowns and jewelry that glittered and sparkled in the low light. Cora had been immediately swarmed upon entering the bookstore: women boasting of her clothing line, mostly. Henry had gone in the back way, away from cameras and swarms of people, always the mysterious introvert.

"Miss Mills! Regina Mills! Look over here!"

Regina turned to the sound of her name and got a flash bulb to the retinas. _Ugh._

"Is it always like this?" Emma asked, taking her arm, appearing to need something to steady herself as she walked in the high heels.

"Unfortunately, yes," Regina grouched. "It's okay. Smile and wave, and they'll eventually get bored with us."

Emma took her advice, smiling widely and raising a hand in a half-hearted gesture.

"Miss Mills! Who is your lovely friend?"

"Can we have a name?"

"Is she an up-and-coming celebrity? Is your father's new book going to be a movie?"

"Is she starring in a movie adaptation of a previous book?"

"Regina! Is your friend sporting one of your mother's dresses?"

"Tell us please!"

"Oh my God," Emma whispered, looking beyond claustrophobic.

Regina held up her hands. "This is Emma Swan, my guest for the night. She and I go to the same school. Yes, she's dressed in Cora Mills' signature styles, down to the earrings. I have heard no word on any movie adaptation of my father's books. Now, if you'll excuse us."

"Regina, Miss Mills, wait! Can you stop for a few pictures? You look completely marvelous!"

Regina posed for a couple of pictures, and then pulled Emma to her before quickly letting go of her. "Head high, smile, hand on your hip, back straight. Keep your stance open but elegant. Flaunt the clothing, not your body. Have fun with it, don't be nervous. You're gorgeous." she instructed quickly before stepping back and letting Emma be photographed.

As Regina watched Emma pose for a few photographs, she felt her breath catch in her throat. Emma turned and changed poses like a natural-born model, her head held high and her smile now beaming. Tonight, there was no trace of the gangly, clumsy softball-player with rough knees and slouched stance. Tonight, Emma Swan was one of the elite.

Finally, after the photographers begged for side-by-side photographs, Regina and Emma were able to tear themselves away from the attention. (The arrival of another well-known novelist allowed them the quick getaway.)

"That was insane," Emma laughed breathlessly. "I was so nervous! Does this happen every time?"

"I've been featured in magazines since I was barely old enough to walk," Regina replied dryly. "It's normal for me."

"I'm not going to lie, that was a ton of fun," Emma giggled, looking a bit hysterical. Regina laughed at her giddiness, surprised she could even breathe or think in the direct beam of Emma's smile. "I'm glad," she said happily.

They mingled for about thirty minutes as the room continued to fill with people. Regina introduced Emma to at least a dozen important figures: models, novelists, designers, chefs, and was pleasantly surprised by how well Emma kept her head and remained professional and polite through every introduction. Emma got sucked into a conversation with a famous chef that she recognized but Regina had never met or heard of, and Regina found herself being pulled away from Emma to speak to a couple of young men that seemed intent on vying for her attention. _Emma is probably having a much better conversation than I am,_ Regina thought bitterly as the _boys_ in front of her boasted about their hedge funds and stocks and utterly boring things, while Emma continued to speak animatedly to the chef.

Suddenly, to her relief, the lights dimmed even more and a spotlight was trailed around the room, resting finally on a big curtain in front of the only large space in the bookstore, which sported nothing but a stand with a hard-back copy of Henry's new book.

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the launch of the highly anticipated new fantasy-thriller novel, _The Shadow Kingdom_ , written by the New York Times' best selling author Henry Mills!"

Applause erupted around the room as Henry stepped into view, waving and smiling widely into flashing cameras and smiling, cheering faces. "Thank you, thank you," he said into a microphone that had been placed in his hand. "As always, it's a pleasure to be invited to this marvelous, historic bookstore. Thank you! I'd also like to thank my beautiful wife, fashion designer Cora Mills, founder and owner of the Queen of Hearts boutiques, who pushed me to pursue my dream of writing…"

After he finished his acknowledgements, there was more applause, and Henry launched into his speech about his method of writing, where his ideas came from, and his plan for a sequel. He ended the speech by reading the first chapter of the book aloud, and when he was finished, the room erupted in even louder applause than ever.

Women and men alike flocked toward Henry with their copies of _The Shadow Kingdom_ , begging for autographs, and Henry welcomed them all with a warm smile and a pen in hand.

"He's loving this," Cora said as she sidled up to Regina. Regina smiled up at her, admiring how regal her mother looked in her long, dark purple evening gown. "He gets a little better at the speeches every time. Did you know people are asking about movie adaptations of his books?"

"Indeed, I've been hearing rumors all night. As if that man needs an even bigger ego boost." She was teasing, and Regina noticed her eyes shine with love as she looked at her husband. "So," she said then, turning back to her daughter. "I've noticed Emma seems to be quite the socialite tonight as well."

Regina scanned the room and found Emma once again the focus of another magazine photographer who had apparently been late to the party. She was laughing and turning slowly in her dress, proudly displaying her look. "She's doing wonderfully," Regina said proudly.

"She sure is. And a tall, athletic, attractive blonde showing off my line isn't hurting my business at all," Cora winked before heading across the room to join Emma in the mini fashion show.

Regina shook her head, still chuckling to herself at her eccentric mother.

She had no idea how long she stood there, watching her mother and Emma with the photographers. All she knew was that she couldn't look away. Emma was radiant. More than half the room had all eyes on her, and her clear laughter could be heard even on the far side of the bookstore. Regina noticed more than a few young men introducing themselves, kissing Emma's hand…

Then, a gorgeous woman with striking Asian features, dressed in a short black cocktail dress approached her. Even from a mild distance, Regina could see the intent in the woman's eyes. She greeted Emma with a smile, then introduced herself and managed to pull Emma away into a less crowded corner. Her body language screamed "interested", and before long Emma was tucking her hair behind her ear and displaying different signs of flattery.

Regina felt like she was going to combust. Jealousy raged through her in such a strong wave, she could almost feel steam come out her ears.

When the Asian woman moved to place her hands on Emma's hips in a very forward, classless manner, Regina swore she could probably breathe fire if she wanted to.

 _I'm in love with Emma. That's supposed to be_ me.

The thought hit Regina like a tsunami. Here she was, struck dumb by the scene in front of her, when she should be going to pull Emma from the womanizing clutches of…whoever that was.

It was like a dream. Regina found herself being pulled as though by a magnet toward the women, easing politely past a sea of bodies to get to her destination. When she approached her friend and the woman who was likely going to get a fist to the face if Regina couldn't calm down, she heard a snippet of their conversation:

"I actually live not far from Storybrooke. My father is a columnist in Augusta, he's here doing a piece on the event. We should meet up sometime. I'd love to take you out to dinner…"

"That would be great, Mulan…"

"Mulan, is it?" The words were out of Regina's mouth before she was aware she was thinking them. Everything was a blur, and she felt like everything that happened beyond this point would be out of her control. She felt like a monster had woken up inside her. "It would seem _someone's_ parents are Disney fans. How unfortunate."

"Regina!" Emma gasped, appalled at the insult and the icy tone that dripped from Regina's lips.

"Actually," the annoying Mulan rebutted, "I was named for the legend herself. _Way_ before the movie."

As if Regina cared. "Excuse us, _Mulan,_ Emma and I are needed elsewhere."

Regina gripped Emma's bicep, dragging her to the staircase and up the stairs to the part of the store that was devoid of a crowd. The upstairs was more crowded with bookcases, but was dim and empty and Regina had no idea what was going to happen now, what she was capable of in this insane storm inside her.

"What the hell was that?" Emma snapped, ripping her arm away once they hit the landing of the stairs. "That was so incredibly _bitchy_ , Regina!"

"She was coming on to you!" Regina hissed, forming her shaking hands into tight fists as she faced her friend.

"Yeah, no shit, Sherlock! You probably just ruined my chance with her."

Regina faltered. "You… _wanted_ her to come on to you?"

Emma's eyes popped wide in angry sarcasm. "No, not at all. I _hated_ being flirted with by a freaking gorgeous girl. Of _course!_ What good is coming out to you if you're just going to….twat swat me at any given chance? What the hell is wrong with you?"

" _Twat swat?_ " Regina repeated dumbly.

"So what is your purpose of dragging me up here looking like you're ready to murder someone? You got beef with that girl?"

"I've never met her," Regina admitted through gritted teeth. Emma looked so damn beautiful, her eyes wild and her stance defensive…

" _What_ then?"

Regina fought to find the words for several seconds, her lips moving uselessly as clipped noises failed to escape her throat.

"Come on then, Queenie, spit it out!" Emma all but roared at her.

Something snapped inside Regina in that moment as Emma stepped into her personal space, practically challenging her to grow up, be a woman, take what she wanted.

So, she did.

She grabbed Emma's shoulders and forcefully backed her up against a bookshelf-lined wall, causing Emma to cry out as her back collided with hard wood, but her cry was swallowed by Regina as her mouth descended upon Emma's, roughly, passionately, purposefully. Emma let out another muffled cry at the surprise attack, and Regina took the opportunity to invade Emma's warm, inviting mouth with her tongue.

After the shock wore off, Emma's arms wrapped around Regina's neck in a vice grip, and she began to reciprocate.

Regina was in heaven. Emma was kissing her again, _really_ kissing, with tongue and teeth and her body was flush against hers, feeling every soft curve and hard angle…

She bit down roughly on Emma's bottom lip, eliciting a sharp grunt of pain from the blonde even as her hips shifted against Regina's.

Finally, after what seemed an eternity and yet half a second, Emma wrenched away. "Oh…oh my God," she gasped, panting heavily, moving her hands to Regina's shoulders. "Everything makes so much more sense now."

"Shut up," Regina snarled, capturing her lips again fiercely. Emma kissed back fervently, hands gripping Regina's shoulders tight.

"All this time?" she asked when they parted again, breathless.

"Since day one," Regina admitted, feeling the blazing fury in her dwindle down to a warm flame in her belly.

"And you…you didn't tell me. Even when I told you. Even when we were standing _naked_ in your bedroom."

"I didn't want…to lose what we had. I wasn't sure if you felt the same way. I wasn't sure about anything."

"I'd like to think I made my interest clear on like, multiple occasions, Regina. I kissed you, told you I was _definitely gay_ , managed to get you _naked_ the very next day."

"You have no idea how badly I wanted to give in then. You were killing me."

Emma's eyes darkened, glittering with want. "We literally could have been doing this for months, you absolute nut!"

"Then let's make up for lost time," Regina smiled, feeling wild and wanton and _free,_ finally, in the arms of the girl she'd fallen head over heels for.

"Gladly," Emma whispered before taking her lips again.

The two girls were so lost in each other, they didn't notice the footsteps coming up the stairs, or the flash of a camera in the dimly-lit room.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Abuse

" _You promised! You swore!"_

" _Emma, I had to. I'm so sorry, but I had-"_

" _Fuck you, Regina! FUCK YOU!"_

_Emma's bloody face was contorted in fury as strong arms strapped her to a gurney. "Miss, you're going to have to stop struggling. We don't know the extent of your injuries-"_

" _FUCK YOU TOO, ASSHOLE! LET ME GO!"_

_Regina watched as Emma, secured on the gurney, was lifted into the ambulance. Tears burned down her face. She couldn't let it end like this. "Emma!" she shouted, breaking free of her father's arms and running toward the ambulance. "Emma, I love you! I love you! I'm so sorry. I love you!"_

_The ambulance doors closed as Emma's response rang in the air:_

" _I hate you, Regina Mills. You ruined EVERYTHING! I HATE YOU!"_

* * *

 

Regina awoke with a gasp, panic setting into her chest when she didn't immediately recognize where she was. Her night gown was plastered to her sweaty body and her heart was hammering inside her ribcage.

That dream again. That… _memory._

Regina brought her hands to her face and pressed her fingers into her eyes. She wasn't standing outside her house in Storybrooke, Maine. She was not seventeen years old, watching the first and only love of her life being carted away in an ambulance with broken bones and bloody gashes.

She was not the scared, meek little girl who'd had only one choice that fateful night eight years ago.

The shrill ring of her cell phone brought her back to the present. Groaning, she rolled herself out of bed and grabbed her cell from her nightstand.

"Regina Mills speaking."

" _Regina, I do hope you remember that we have a meeting with the J &H law firm at eight this morning. Did you get everything we needed? Are we prepared? Because if we don't have this thing locked down, so help me…"_

Regina's eyes snapped to her bedside clock, which read 5:45 a.m. "Yes, Milah," she replied to her bitch of a firm partner. "Everything is ready."

" _Bring a bagel from that bakery I like on your way in."_

"Get it yourself."

After pressing the "end" button (and oh, how she missed the good old days of home phones that you could slam down to satisfy your exasperation), Regina dragged herself to the shower, her mind drifting from the task at hand and back to that fateful day:

_Regina stared down in horror at the article that had been printed in the gossip magazine in front of her. There, without a doubt, was a picture of herself and Emma locked in a passionate embrace against the bookshelves._

" _We'll sue them, of course," Cora sniffed, arms crossed over her chest. "They printed gossip about a minor, two minors in fact, outing you both to the public. I'm sure there's something we can do."_

_Regina's heart was hammering in her throat. She felt sick. "Mother…we have to tell Emma. We have to warn her."_

" _Warn her?" Henry piped up from his seat next to Cora._

_Tears burned Regina's eyes as she admitted, "Her foster-father can't find out about this. He…" she trailed off._

_Luckily, both of her parents seemed to know what she was implying. "Call her," Cora said firmly. "Call her immediately, get her over here."_

_Regina had her cell to her ear before her mother had finished talking. The phone rang, and rang, and rang before going to Emma's voice mail. Regina ended the call and immediately tried again. After the fourth attempt, she let her phone fall to her lap. "She's…not answering," she whispered, tears prickling her eyes. "She's home. I know she's home. She never doesn't answer for me."_

_Henry got up from his seat, his face tense with concern. "Regina, you have to tell us: how much danger is Emma in?"_

Regina shook her head, pushing the memories from her thoughts. She had more important things to do today.

A lawyer was the last thing Regina had ever wanted to be, just like Maine was the last place she'd  _ever_  wanted to go back to…but she had learned to adapt. Life was never what it was supposed to be. No, that dream was shattered years ago.

So now, after going through law school at Harvard, she worked in a prestigious law firm near Portland, Maine, with her law partner Milah Jones.

She glared at herself in the mirror as she applied her makeup. She barely recognized herself anymore. Gone was the sun-kissed golden brown of her California days, and gone was her long hair and shy softness. Her skin was pale olive, her hair a short professional bob, and her face was hard. She'd lost love, lost innocence, had excelled through law school and made top connections while doing so. She was now a product of her environment.

She despised it all.

* * *

 

"I'm telling you, Jefferson is the most  _self-important prick_ on the entire bloody planet," Milah bitched at Regina after the meeting. "Sexist to boot."

As if Regina hadn't figured that out on her own. "It doesn't matter. Their client doesn't have a leg to stand on and they know it. This was an attempted bluff, nothing more."

"You're so right," Milah grinned. "What do you say we do lunch?"

"I packed a salad with me," Regina declined. "I'm fine."

Milah rolled her eyes and looped her arm through Regina's, laughing when the darker woman tensed immediately. "You know, we're partners, Regina. Least you could do is get to know me a little better."

"I know you well enough. Let's keep our partnership professional, if you don't mind."

"You're so drab, Regina. Come out with me and my girls tonight. There's this new bar opening up by the shore.  _Our_ side of the shore, don't worry. It's called Queen's or Queenie's or something. You've had to have driven past it at some point, right? It's got the picture of the swan out front…Regina?"

Milah trailed off as Regina came a dead stop beside her, halting Milah's movement.

"What?" Regina asked, feeling light-headed.

Milah shot her a strange, exasperated look. "Come to the bar," she said slowly. "We'll be there at eight. I have to meet with Parsons about his case after lunch so you won't see me for the rest of the day, I'm sure. Consider it. I'm not as bad as you think."

With that, Milah planted a mocking kiss on Regina's cheek and swept out of the room.

Absentmindedly, Regina wiped the feeling of Milah's lips off her skin.

" _Queenie's or something…"_

" _It's got the picture of the swan out front…"_

It was too easy. Regina had looked for Emma for years, to no avail. It had been like she'd dropped off the face of the planet, so there was  _no way_ she was popping up randomly in the same city Regina was living in. Regina had finally come to terms with the fact that she was never going to see Emma again, so it was all a coincidence.

Wasn't it?

" _You have to let me see her. I need to know how she is. She needs to know-"_

" _I'm sorry, miss. Family only past this point."_

" _She doesn't_ have _any family!"_

" _I'm under strict orders not to let anyone-"_

" _Screw that!" Regina pushed past the desk and ran down the hall, looking for the door number the downstairs clerk had so kindly given her when she'd asked where Emma Swan was roomed._

_She heard the nurse call for security, but she didn't care. She found the room number and burst through the door….only to find that a nurse was changing the sheets on an empty bed._

" _Where is she?" Regina whispered. The nurse looked at her like she was crazy before answering hesitantly, "This patient was just transferred….sorry?"_

" _Miss, you're going to have to leave," came a deep voice behind her. Regina turned around and, instead of calming at the sight of the armed security officer, she felt herself lose control. The pressure in her heart was unbearable at this point. Where was Emma?_

" _Where is she?!" Regina yelled, hot tears spilling down her cheeks. "I need to see her!"_

" _Regina!" came Cora's voice from behind the officer, as she had finally caught up to Regina (who had bolted into the hospital the second Cora had parked the car). "You're going to get yourself arrested! Collect yourself this instant!"_

" _I will not!" Regina spat, feeling nearly hysterical. "What does it mean, that she was transferred? Where is she? Where was she transferred to?"_

" _Miss, you have three seconds to comply with my orders before I have to forcibly remove you-"_

" _No." A new voice entered the room, and a tall man with thinning brown hair stepped into view. The security officer stepped to the side immediately at the sight of the blue doctor's scrubs that the man was wearing. "I'll take it from here, okay? I'm Doctor Whale." He addressed the officer first, and Regina second, and Regina calmed slightly. Answers were coming. "I treated Emma Swan," Dr. Whale began. "You were the one that made the call, right?"_

_Regina nodded tightly, her betrayal still very much a touchy subject in her head. "Yes."_

" _You saved her life, you know."_

" _What was the extent of her injuries?"_

" _I'm not at liberty to discuss that with-"_

" _Tell me!"_

" _Miss Mills, I'm trying. Please calm down," Whale said firmly, and Regina could see the annoyance in his face._ Oh, he's annoyed now? Just wait, I'm going to-

" _Emma had to be transferred for her own safety. I am not at liberty to discuss her injuries or her new location. You have to understand."_

" _I'm not James Nolan! I didn't do that to her!"_

" _I'm sorry, but I'm obligated_ by law _. Her caseworker has made it clear that no one, not even Emma's friends, are to know where she is right now."_

" _Bullshit!" Regina screamed, feeling her world crumble around her. Before her brain even registered what her body was doing, she was rushing at the doctor. She was vibrating with adrenaline and fear and she shoved him in the chest once, twice, and went for a third before her mother wrenched her away from him. "I have to find her," Regina yelled. "You have to tell me where she is! I have to tell her that I-I have to talk to her!"_

_In the end, Regina hadn't been removed from the hospital or arrested; she was told later that she'd had a severe panic attack and had lost consciousness while struggling against her mother's hold. She didn't remember that happening, but she really couldn't remember anything between trying to free herself from Cora and waking up in a hospital bed feeling exhausted._

_Cora, Henry, and Regina had spent a week calling every hospital in nearby cities and even states. Emma was being protected, and no one would be able to release information about her even if she_ was _there. The Mills knew this, but it didn't stop them from trying._

_However, at the end of the week, they'd all lost hope, and Regina knew that their chances of finding Emma were almost nonexistent. Though Henry and Cora had eventually moved on, transferred Regina to a private school a town over, and went forward with their lives, Regina kept trying to find her for years afterward. Phone books, online directories, social media, culinary schools…you name it, Regina had looked for her there, to absolutely no avail._

_She was gone._

So, there was no way that Regina was standing in front of Emma Swan's bar at eight o'clock at night, staring up at the large neon swan wearing a crown that sported the word "Queenie's" across it, right? Couldn't possibly be Emma's. All of it was the biggest, cruelest coincidence of her life.

"Oh my God! Regina, you actually came!"

Regina cringed as Milah's high-pitched greeting grated her ear drums. "I'm shocked, myself, actually," Regina admitted, shooting Milah a sarcastic smile. "I really don't know what got into me. I'll just be go-"

"Nope. I don't think so," Milah interrupted, grabbing Regina's arm and all but pulling her toward the bar. "The girls are already here. Come on!"

Upon entering the bar, Regina was immediately impressed. It didn't look as much like a bar as it did a fancy art gallery. Crystal chandeliers hung from the ceiling, and the design featured mainly glass, red leather and sleek black metal, giving the place a modern, classy feel.

Milah grinned at her in the dim light "Aren't you glad you came? This place is so posh! Oh, hey, Holly!" she waved at her friend, who waved back from a table in the corner. "Come on, come meet-"

But Regina didn't hear the rest of her sentence. Standing behind the center bar, with her back to Regina, was a woman with long, golden-blonde hair tied into a braid down her back. Emma.

Regina felt her feet move forward, heart once more hammering in her chest. She wracked her brain with different things she could say when she finally saw her. She would tell her that she loved her still, that she'd looked for her everywhere, that she couldn't live with herself until there was at least closure about what happened back then…

But all of those thoughts died in her head as the blonde woman heard her approach and turned around with a large smile on her face.

"Hi, welcome to the grand opening of Queenie's! I'm Ingrid, resident mistress of mixology! Let me guess: you're a dirty martini kind of woman?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY. PLEASE stick with me, it will get better.   
> Also, I don't know jack about law school or Maine cities or anything, so any inconsistencies or false information is just my lack of research. Let me know if I get anything like, idiotically wrong. Thanks!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this doesn't feel like it's flowing quite yet, but I promise I'll get into the groove soon. This is all buildup and I'm adjusting to the differences in the adult characters from the teenagers they were. I hope you all are still enjoying this. Let me know!

Regina's heart plummeted into her toes. She tried to quickly mask her disappointment, but Ingrid caught it.

"Ah, you're looking for someone. Perhaps I can help?"

Regina watched Ingrid mix together a martini as she gathered her thoughts. "I…no, I'm not looking for anyone. You just reminded me of someone I once knew."

Ingrid pushed the glass of alcohol toward Regina with a large smile. "Here, on the house. You look like you need it."

Despite the fact that the statement could have easily been taken as an insult, Regina just sighed, pulled out a chair, and accepted the drink with a nod of thanks. "I actually do." She took a sip, letting the bitterness wash over her tongue and burn down her throat. "Oh," she commented after the first swallow. "This is probably the best martini I've ever had."

Ingrid grinned widely and went about making more drinks for the other patrons around Regina. "I'm good at what I do," she laughed. "My daughter and I worked hard to get this place. Speaking of which, I wonder where she ran off to. Oh, there she is. Em! Hey, Emma, we're almost out of glasses back here!"

Regina's very blood froze in her veins.  _It's not my Emma. Emma doesn't have a mother. Emma is a very popular name. Do_ not _get your hopes up…._

Despite her thoughts, Regina pivoted slowly in her bar stool to look toward where Ingrid had directed her call, and….

Brown eyes met green from across the room. Emma was dressed elegantly in black slacks and a button up, her blonde hair piled into a stylish messy bun and a few strands had fallen down to frame her face in loose curls.

She was older, more filled out, and stood with more confidence than Regina remembered, but she was still  _Emma._  And she was right there. Her eyes widened and Regina saw her mouth move, a silent "Regina…" falling from them. And that's when Regina realized she couldn't do this.

Before she knew what she was doing, Regina's feet had led her through the door of the bar and onto the sidewalk outside. She couldn't breathe. Her heart felt like someone was squeezing the very life out of it. Leaning against the wall, she tried to take deep breaths that only brought pain, and closed her eyes tightly as she tried to focus on slowing her heartbeat.

She was here. She was alive, she was healthy, she owned her very own business. She had disappeared for  _years_  and here she was, in the very same city Regina had taken residence in. What were the odds?

"Regina."

The voice brought tears to Regina's closed eyes as the sound slammed into her memories. The voice was deeper, richer, less playful than she remembered, but it was still  _hers_. Forcing her eyes open, she finally found herself face-to-face with Emma Swan for the first time in eight years.

"You're here," Emma said softly, taking a step closer, her hands clasped together in front of her hips. "Opening night, of all nights. It worked." She offered a small smile. Regina's eyebrows furrowed. "What do you mean, it worked?"

Emma's eyebrows lifted and she gestured to the sign. "Queenie's. The swan. I tried to make it as obvious as possible. I knew if you were still anywhere in New England, you'd hear about it. You'd…I just didn't expect you here on the first night."

Regina's head was reeling. "So I was right. This…your ridiculous nickname for me…"

Emma chuckled softly. "Well, I owed you."

 _I owed you._  What the hell did that mean? Regina found herself getting angry. "This makes no  _sense,_  Emma. I…I looked for you. For  _years._  The last thing you said to me was that you hated me. Then you disappeared. So why the hell am I standing outside your bar, which you christened with  _my_ nickname, after…why didn't you come find me? What the hell is happening, Swan?"

Emma hung her head in shame. "Look. I can't talk now. Opening night…I have to be in there. But, um, here's my card. Feel free to stay, Ingrid will provide you with free drinks, and…call me?"

Emma handed over her business card gingerly, and Regina cautiously took it, making sure their skin didn't make contact. If she touched Emma now, after all these years…

And just like that, Emma was back inside the bar, gone from Regina's sight.

Regina stared down at the card, breathing heavily as her head spun. After everything she'd done, after everything she'd gone through to get where she was in life, after all these years of radio silence, Emma was here. And Regina decided in that moment that she was going to get the answers to all the questions raging in her head.

But first, she was going to go home, sleep, and try to process the shock that was raging through her.

 

* * *

 

It's funny that, even though Regina had looked for Emma for years, she couldn't bring herself to dial Emma's number or go back to the bar.

A week had passed since the encounter, and Milah had been a bigger bitch than usual toward Regina since she'd bailed on her that night. Though she'd apologized (half-assed apology and the excuse that a sudden migraine had come on, but an apology still), Milah remained short and unforgiving.

But finally, after a week of Regina merely floating through each work day and performing at less than half capacity, Milah stormed into her office and slammed the door.

"Spill," she demanded, pulling a chair up for herself and plopping down, crossing her arms expectedly. "What the bloody hell is wrong with you lately?"

Regina had been pouring over a few legal documents and minding her own business, so she shot an annoyed look at Milah over the top of her reading glasses. "There's nothing to spill," she said curtly. "Don't you have work to do?"

"No, I'm caught up. You, however, have fallen behind. As your partner, I have every right to be concerned with your performance at work. We can't afford to lose any cases. So, you need to talk to someone and I'm not sure you have friends, so talk to me."

"I have friends."

It was true. Regina still had Zelena, who had moved from California to New York to work for Cora since Regina had taken her own path in life. They still spoke on a weekly basis, and made it a point to take a vacation overseas every summer together. Then there was Kathryn, a fellow lawyer that had been her roommate at Harvard. She was a bubbly yet no-nonsense type of person, and Regina had grown to care for her deeply. She worked in Boston, so she and Regina still got together fairly frequently to catch up on life.

"Perhaps, but you're not talking to any of them either, or you wouldn't be so spacey. So, spill."

Caught and defeated, Regina sighed, then pulled Emma's business card out of her desk and dropped it on the desk in front of Milah, who picked it up curiously. "The bar we went to?" she asked, brows furrowing in confusion. "I don't understand."

Regina took off her glasses and pinched the bridge of her nose. She couldn't believe what she was about to divulge. But if she didn't get it off her chest, she knew she might just explode. "Emma Swan. The owner of Queenie's Bar."

"What about her?"

"If you'll be patient," Regina snapped. "This is hard for me. I haven't spoken about this in years."

Milah sat back and shut her mouth, staring at her partner expectantly, waiting for her to continue. After a beat, Regina did.

"When I first moved to Maine, I was a junior in high school. Emma was…my first friend here. She was a foster child in a bad situation…not poverty, but abuse…and after awhile, our relationship grew from friends to…well, eventually we had a falling out. She had begged me not to report her foster father for abuse, but one day he went too far, and…I've been looking for her for eight years. It was like she'd fallen off the face of the planet and yet here she is, using her real name on her business cards, naming a damn  _bar_ after this stupid nickname she had for me in school, acting like the last thing she ever said to me wasn't 'I hate you', and she wants me to call her but I don't even know what to say to her!"

She finished her outburst, then realized in horror that she'd ended up letting out much more information than she'd meant to. Milah was gaping at her with wide eyes.

"Whoa, wait, back up!" Milah said suddenly and loudly, launching out of her seat. "She named her  _bar_ after you? Your nickname was  _Queenie?_ "

"Hardly the most important part of this conversation, good to know you followed along," Regina quipped, turning to continue haphazardly reading the documents on her desk. Milah reached over and grabbed the papers, forcing Regina to look away from them. "It's  _the_  most important part of everything you told me," Milah exclaimed. "You said you had a falling out. You reported her piece of shit guardian and maybe she was mad at you for awhile, but she named her  _bar_  after you!"

"She told me," Regina sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose again, "that she'd done it on purpose. She'd meant to lure me to the bar, or something. What the hell do I do, Milah?" She couldn't believe she was asking, but she was at a loss.

" _Obviously_ , you call her! She  _obviously_  wants to talk to you. Oh my God, she's the reason you didn't go into the fashion biz like your mum, isn't she? She's the reason you got into law!"

"We aren't going there," Regina stated firmly, stopping Milah in her tracks. "I can't call her. I'm the reason she was hurt by him. Because we…he was a bigot. And we…we messed up. Paparazzi…."

"Oh, I remember that!" Milah gasped. "You were featured in a gossip rag, kissing some blonde girl. That was  _Emma?!_ Wasn't there a suit or something against that company afterwards?"

"Milah. _"_ Regina felt sick at the mere mention of the incident that had changed her life forever.  _Their_  lives forever.

"All right," Milah conceded, holding up her hands and sitting back down. "I don't think I've ever heard you stutter over your words before."

"That's how unsure I am about all of this. I expected that when I found her, if I ever found her, she would want nothing to do with me. That I could apologize and she would tell me it changed nothing and we could have closure…"

"That's not what you wanted."

"Excuse me?"

Milah rolled her eyes. "You wanted, probably imagined for years, finding her and apologizing, Emma accepting, and falling back in love and getting married and being together forever."

"The immature pipe dreams of a broken little girl who'd lost her first love by destroying all her hopes and goals in one fell swoop," Regina admitted quietly. "I have since grown to understand how the world works."

"Maybe it doesn't always have to work that way," Milah said in a soft tone, softer than Regina was used to. Comforting, almost. "Call her," she continued, raising her voice again slightly. "Call her, meet with her, hash out whatever the hell you need to so that you can get your head back in the game here. You obviously didn't ruin her life, and she wants to talk to you. Woman up and do it." With that, she cleared her throat, put the business card back on the desk, then got up and marched out, shutting the door sharply behind her.

Regina picked the card up gingerly in her hands, even though she'd memorized the phone number days ago. Could it really be that simple? Could she really just pick up the phone and call?

Of course she could! She was Regina Mills, lawyer and businesswoman. She didn't get this far by being meek and hiding like a scared child.

Taking a deep breath, she picked up her desk phone, punched Emma's number in, and listened as it rang once…

And she slammed the receiver down, heart pounding in her throat and bile churning in her stomach. She couldn't do this. She-

The phone rang suddenly, the piercing tone making Regina jump in her seat, then sigh in relief. She could use a distraction from what she'd just been about to do. Hopefully it would be a pissy court clerk, so she could take out some of her frustration.

"You have reached the law office of Jones & Mills, Regina Mills speaking," Regina said in clipped, even tones as she answered the phone.

_"Um, Regina? Really? I, uh, didn't recognize this number and was just…returning the call….is this really Regina?"_

That voice. Even over the phone, it made Regina's heart clench painfully and her palms ache as her mouth went dry. "Emma…"

_"Yeah, it's me. Hi…"_


	13. Chapter 13

_Deep breath, Regina. You can do this. Act like it's a business call!_

"Yes, hello," she managed after a moment and a deep breath. "I-I am ashamed to admit I didn't feel like I could go through with the call for a moment."

She heard Emma laugh softly.  _"Yeah, I figured,"_ she said. " _It's been a week since I handed you my number, and then one ring? Figured if it was you, I'd help you along. I'm kinda surprised, though…did I hear you say law office? You're a lawyer? That's-"_

"How are you, Miss Swan?"

She heard Emma falter, and immediately regretted the formality in which she'd just spoken. " _Uh…Miss Swan. That's…Um, I'm great. Look, Regina, I'm not going to lie. I had this whole plan, you know? Of what to say to you if I ever saw you again. And…I don't know. This is just awkward…Do you want to go out for coffee, or maybe dinner sometime? Just, we have a lot between us and it needs to be addressed in person. Don't you agree?"_

She did, in fact. "I do," she confirmed. "My schedule doesn't allow for much free time, I'm afraid. This week…" she took a glance down at her calendar.  _Doing great. Business meeting, that's all this is._ "I'm only available to meet on Sunday evening."

" _I can make that happen."_

Regina marked "Meet with Emma" on her calendar, but once the words were there in front of her face in permanent marker, she suddenly felt like she couldn't breathe.

**Meet with Emma.**

" _Regina? Are you okay?"_

Regina tore her eyes away from the words she'd written and slumped down in her seat, closing her eyes and struggling to keep her breaths even. "I'm just fine. Actually," Regina couldn't stop it. She was going to explode if she didn't get some of this out. "I'm not. I'm not sure that whatever either of us needs to talk about is dinner conversation. I have important things to say to you, and I'm sure you have some choice words for me-"

" _Choice words? Regina, I wouldn't have gone through the trouble I did to name my freakin' bar after you if I was still harboring any kind of anger for you. That's why I want to meet with you. You deserve your questions to be answered."_

At the mention of anger, that very thing began to creep into Regina's mind, suddenly and strongly. "Why did it take you eight years? Huh, Emma? Why eight  _years_  and a  _bar named for me_  when you  _know_  you could have easily contacted me. I'm not exactly hard to find!"

" _You have every right to ask me these questions. And I promise I'll answer them all. I just…let's meet at my bar on Sunday evening. It'll be closed then, we'll have the whole place to ourselves. And conveniently accessible liquor at our disposal,"_ she added with a chuckle, which Regina couldn't help but to dryly return.  _"_ That is a brilliant plan. Six o'clock sound good?"

" _Yeah. Yeah, I can do six. See you then?"_

"See you then."

When Regina hung up the phone, she heard an emphatic "Was that so hard, Mills?" from just outside the room.

"Retrieve your nose from my door and stick it back in your own business, Jones," Regina tried to snap, but it lacked the bite she intended and elicited a barking laugh from her partner.

Her breath caught in her throat as she wrote  **Queenie's Bar 6:00 p.m.** under  **Meet with Emma** on her calendar, and she spent the rest of the work day staring at the words in disbelief, trepidation, excitement, and full-blown fear.

* * *

 

 

"I have no idea what I'm doing!" Regina cried on Sunday evening, staring down at the pile of rejected outfits on her bed. There was only one spot on the bed that wasn't occupied with clothing, and it was where her mother was currently perched on the edge of it.

Cora watched silently for a moment as Regina put on another dress and then ripped it off herself just as fast, leaving it to pile on the floor.

Finally, she spoke. "I haven't seen you like this since you were a teenager, Regina. Really, what is all the fuss about? It's just Emma."

"You don't understand!" Regina insisted. "It's not 'just Emma', it's  _Emma Swan_. The first girl I…she hated me, Mother, she did, and I don't know what this meet-up is about or what's going to be said. And she's beautiful, Mother. More beautiful than she ever was. I can't-"

She sighed, bringing her hands up to cover her face for a moment. "I haven't felt this out of control since the moment I knew I lost her."

"Well, you've found her now. The search has ended, she is ready and willing to talk to you. It doesn't matter what you wear, Regina. Please collect yourself and remember that you are a Mills, and you can handle anything."

Regina let Cora's words soak in for a moment, before taking a deep breath and nodding, picking up a gray dress from the bed and shimmying into it. Cora zipped up the back for her and when she stepped into her heels, her mother nodded in approval. "Classy, professional, but not too formal. You look wonderful, dear. Now go talk to Emma. You've waited long enough."

* * *

 

By the time Regina pulled up to Queenie's Bar, she felt like her heart was legitimately trying to escape from her chest. She had a moment to wonder if that was something she needed to see a doctor about since it had been happening very frequently as of late, before she saw Emma's Beetle pull into the empty space next to her.

She still had the Beetle. The bright yellow eyesore was still functioning and the sight of it brought sudden tears to Regina's eyes.  _No_.  _Now's not the time._

She blinked back the tears and opened her door, stepping out of her car to greet Emma. "Good evening," she said evenly, trying to tamper down her emotions as Emma got out of the Beetle. Emma was breathtaking in skin-tight dark jeans and a soft blue blouse, her golden curls falling down her back almost sensually as she shook them away from her face and smiled at Regina. "Hey, you," she greeted in return, grabbing her building keys from her back pocket. Silently, they strode to the door of the bar, and Emma unlocked the doors and then held one open for Regina. "Ladies first," she quipped. Regina lifted one brow at her but walked through the door first, taking in the posh interior once more. "It really is quite beautiful," Regina complimented quietly. Emma grinned at her as she tucked her keys back into her pocket and made her way to the bar in the center of the room. "What's your poison?" she asked.

"If you can make a dry martini as well as your  _mother_ , I'll have that," Regina quipped, perching herself on a barstool, feeling strangely relieved that there was a countertop between her and Emma right now. Her hands itched and ached suddenly, and she formed them into fists in her lap to quell the feeling.

Emma, meanwhile, began mixing up Regina's drink. "Ingrid taught me everything she knows, don't worry. And she is more my mother than anyone else has been," she explained. "Well, except  _your_  mother. She took me in after…well, she was the next person that took me in. And she kept me, and we've been through a lot together."

"Understandable," Regina replied. When Emma handed her drink to her, she accepted with a quiet "Thank you" and then continued, "I'm glad you found someone to care and be there for you, since you wouldn't let me."

And just like that, the cards were on the table. Regina almost winced at her near-hatefulness, but thankfully managed to keep her blank mask firmly in place. Emma, however, blanched.

"All right," she sighed, pouring herself a shot of straight whiskey, knocking it back quickly, and refilling. "You're tired of small talk. I get it; I am too. So, let's talk. You first, or me?"

"By all means," Regina said, taking a sip of her drink and gesturing to Emma. "Begin."

Emma refilled her shot glass but didn't drink from it. She paced back and forth a couple of times, and finally, she spoke.

"I'm going to start with how I feel now, so that nothing I say about my feelings  _then_  will be at the forefront. You saved me, when you sent the cops to my house that day. Had you not done what you did, I would probably be dead. He didn't….he didn't stop until the sirens were outside."

Regina's breath caught in her throat and she quickly gulped from her glass before asking, "What were your injuries, if I may ask? The hospital never told me."

Emma sighed and ran her hands through her hair uncomfortably. "Uh, I've never really… _talked_  about that time with anyone, so…um. Sorry. Broken collar bone, arm, tail bone, five cracked ribs, internal bleeding, concussion, and a few gashes from where I landed on sharp corners or his rings split me open. Took a very long time to heal."

"Emma, I'm so sorry. It was all my fault-"

" _No_." She said it with so much force that Regina leaned back a bit, taken aback by the harshness. "We messed up. It wasn't you. It was both of us. We should have better controlled ourselves; we knew paparazzi scumbags were everywhere. So don't blame yourself."

Regina nodded tightly, then handed her glass back to Emma, signaling that she was done with the alcohol. "My caseworker came to the hospital, informed me that she'd put me in for a transfer to protect me. Asked me if I wanted to see anyone before I left. I told her no."

Emma looked ashamed at the admission, and Regina felt the hurt slam into her upon hearing it. "You  _chose_  not to let anyone know how you were or where you were going," she said darkly, squeezing her fists together hard, feeling the stinging bite of her nails into her palms.

"You have to understand, Regina," Emma said earnestly, "I was  _not_  okay. My senior year, ruined. My friends, everything I'd established, gone. I knew Ja- _he -_  was an ass, and I thought I knew what he was capable of, but I never thought…I almost  _died_ , Regina. And without your intuition that night, I don't think he would have stopped until I had. It took me a few years to understand that, but once I did…I owed you a huge debt of gratitude, Regina. So, Queenie's was born."

With the last statement, she gestured at the grandeur around her. "My life was extremely rough for the next three years. I…really went downhill. I lost my chances for a full-ride scholarship, I lost my chances of going to culinary school. I spiraled out, did some stupid things…but Ingrid stayed with me, she helped ground me and push me to do great things, and here we are."

They sat in silence for a moment, enjoying the comfortable calm the alcohol had gifted them, before Emma asked, "What about you? A lawyer? How did that happen?"

Regina huffed. "It was…an easy choice. I had a high GPA,  _all_  of the resources and recommendations, and Harvard accepted me immediately. I've only been a real lawyer for about six months, though. Waited a bit to go to law school." She did not divulge the reason she waited, but Emma seemed to know what was unspoken.

"I heard about your father, and I guess now I can finally say how sorry I am for your loss," Emma said softly, filling two glasses with water and then walking around the bar, taking a seat beside Regina and handing one to her.

"I imagine everyone did. Thank you."

Henry Mills had died one year after Regina had graduated high school. Heart failure, they'd been told. He had died peacefully in his bed, but the Mills family had never been the same. Between losing Emma and then her father, Regina had begun to close herself off and build up walls, walls that she could feel starting to crumble the longer she was in Emma's presence.

Because Emma was running her hands through her hair again, and as she did so, Regina caught a whiff of her scent in the air: vanilla and cinnamon, and something uniquely Emma. She still smelled exactly the same, and Regina's entire body quaked and her head spun from it.

"Are you okay?" Emma asked, and Regina realized she'd clenched her eyes shut and exhaled sharply in order to keep herself under control. "Yes, I'm fine," she covered quickly. "This whole thing is just a bit overwhelming."

"I hear you," Emma chuckled. "I keep thinking of more things I want to tell you, but they keep getting caught in my throat. I don't know how to make things up to you. And you're beautiful. I mean, really beautiful, Regina. So naturally I'm all over the place."

Regina's pulse quickened at Emma's bold compliment and admission, but she tried to ignore it. "How did you feel about me for the first few years?" she asked quietly. "I need to know."

Emma hung her head. "I tried not to think about you," she whispered. "I did anything and everything to keep you off of my mind, and when I did think of you I told myself I hated you, because you'd done this, made me the way I was then. Which was a line I fed myself, mind you," she clarified quickly. "Like I said, I was messed up."

"I had all of these apologies for you," Regina said, sipping her water and shifting in her seat, completely missing the way Emma's eyes followed her legs as they crossed in front of her. "But now you're thanking me for the very things I was going to apologize for. I don't know what more to say except…I missed you. And….thank you. For reaching out to me."

"And for naming a bar after you?" Emma joked, bringing a smile to Regina's face. "Indeed. A bit over the top, though, wouldn't you say?"

"Nah, if anything I'd say I still owe you."

Their eyes locked for a moment, something electric and intense and silent passing between them, and Emma opened her mouth to say something else…

And her phone rang, causing her to start in her seat. She jumped up, taking a few steps away from Regina and answered the call quickly. Regina heard a man's voice, and the loud cries of a child, before hearing Emma say "I'll be right home. Tell him I'm coming."

When she hung up the phone, Emma turned guiltily to Regina. "I'm sorry to have to cut this short," she said sadly. "I have something I have to do at home. Are you good to drive or do I need to call you a taxi?"

"I'm fine," Regina said. The drink had warmed her, but not inebriated her, and the water was already working on hydrating her and clearing her mind.

"Okay, me too," Emma said distractedly, grabbing the glasses and washing them real quick while Regina watched, thoroughly confused. "Did I hear a child crying during that phone call, Emma?" she asked hesitantly.

Emma froze for a second, dish towel in hand and eyes unfocused, before her face cleared and she smiled at Regina. "Uh, yeah. Yeah, you did. That's…my son. He came down with a fever suddenly, that's why I need to go."

It was like the whole world had dropped out from underneath Regina's feet. Emma had a  _son_. Somewhere in the space of the last eight years, Emma had conceived and birthed a  _child_. The voice on the phone had been a  _man's_. Was he the father? Was Emma married?

"What did-how is- _when_ -?" Regina couldn't even get the question out. She suddenly wanted about ten more martinis just to deal with this new information.

"Look, Regina, I'd love to tell you," Emma said, replacing the glasses and turning out the main lights before steering them both to the door, "but I really have to go. The next story I have to share is a tough one, and a long one, and one for another time. Can we meet up again?"

A furious jealously flared up inside Regina as thoughts of Emma with a husband and child swirled in her mind. "If you could find the time with your busy schedule," she snapped as she wrenched open her car door. "I'm sure your family keeps you just as busy as your new bar."

"Well, yeah," Emma said hesitantly and confirming Regina's suspicions as she watched Regina duck into her car. "But I would really like to see you again so we can finish our conversation."

"Well, you have my number," Regina dismissed curtly before closing the door and starting her engine, effectively ending the conversation. She couldn't even feel guilty at the rude dismissal, as she felt as though she would do or say something stupid if she had to talk to Emma Swan for another second. She didn't put the car into gear, though. She stared at her white-knuckled hands on the steering wheel, using her peripheral vision to watch as Emma walked to her own car, got in, and drove off. Only when Emma was gone did Regina finally let herself breathe, and once she was breathing, she was crying.

Really, what did she expect? Emma didn't blame her for what had happened anymore, but of  _course_  she hadn't waited for Regina for eight years. Of  _course_  she pushed forward, lived her life, found happiness. All this was, was Emma's apology for not contacting Regina sooner. All that was happening was the closure they both needed and deserved, and then they would part ways once more. Emma wanted to talk more, but Regina wasn't sure she could handle it. She'd gotten her closure, so it'd be best to never speak again. Being friends again, seeing Emma with someone else, a family of her own, and being sidelined…Regina couldn't do it.

It was true, what Milah had guessed. Deep down, Regina had hoped that she and Emma would find each other and they would continue like they'd never been separated. She'd dreamt that Emma would take her into her arms, hold her tight, kiss away the pain of the last few years and life would be perfect. She'd known it was a stupid thought, a stupid dream, but her childish heart had held onto it anyway.

Sobs wracked her body and she collapsed against her steering wheel, gasping for breath between agonizing wails.

Emma might not blame her anymore for the events of her near-death experience and their separation, but she'd blamed her long enough that there was no longer any hope for them to be together, and Regina had known it. She just hadn't fully accepted it until now.

_I'm such a fool._


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo, double-length chapter! *pats self on back*

"So, wait just one bloody minute! Emma's back? You found her? She owns a bar that she  _named after you_  and she has a wee one? Is that what you're telling me?"

Regina rolled her eyes. "Yes, Zee, that's exactly what I'm telling you."

She had to pull the phone away from here ear when Zelena's piercing shriek nearly busted her eardrum. "I have so many questions!" Zelena cried. "Where's she been? Who's the child's father? Why would she dedicate her bar to you when she hated your guts? What the bloody hell is going on?"

"I'm asking myself the same questions and more, over and over again," Regina admitted with a sigh. She felt so defeated.

"So, while you should be absolutely chuffed right now, you sound gutted instead. Isn't this a good thing? She reached out to you. You're speaking to her. Why do you not know  _everything_  yet?"

"Because halfway through our conversation, she got a call from some man about her child coming down with fever and she had to go home. But she said she wants to see me again, explain more to me."

"So," Zee said slowly in realization, "you believe that this is what, some apology or her way of saying she forgives you?"

"I think," Regina said softly, "that back then, she thought I ruined her life. Turns out, she found a great foster mother, finished her education, found a good man and started a family  _and_ a business, and this is all her way of trying to make amends, let me know she's okay and she forgives me. And when she's done, she'll move on again."

"That's a bunch of tosh."

"What do you mean?" Regina asked curiously, sitting up straight. Zelena had always been the best at helping her see different perspectives, and that's  _exactly_  what she needed from her now.

"If that was all she was doing, she wouldn't  _still_ be trying to reach out to you. A quick chat at her bar would have been enough if that's all she was looking to do. You need to meet with her again."

"And what, hear about her wonderful husband and son and life, hear about how she moved on when I've been stuck on her for years?"

"You're jealous."

"Of course I'm jealous!" Regina cried before downing the rest of her wine and jumping up to pace the living room. "I love her. I've always loved her. I've never loved anyone else. And I've tamped that love down, hidden it deep inside, built my career and my connections and made myself strong. And I see her for the first time in almost a decade and I can feel everything crashing down around me. I can't  _handle_  this, Zee."

"Call her, immediately, and schedule dinner with her. I'm just as eager for the rest of this talk as you are dreading it. So just do it and get it over with."

* * *

 

 

So, Regina did just that, and now it was the Friday after their meet-up at Queenie's, Regina was answering her door for Emma, who stood on her stoop holding a casserole dish and a bottle of wine with a sheepish smile on her face.

As usual, Emma looked beautiful. Her curls were cascading down her back and framing her angelic, wind-flushed face. She wore a short-sleeved sweater dress and black tights, and the outfit was made complete by a pair of heels. The Emma Regina remembered wouldn't have been caught in heels unless it was an extremely special occasion….was coming to Regina's for dinner a special occasion to her? Regina couldn't tell.

"Can I come in?" Emma asked after a solid ten seconds of Regina just staring at her on the stoop. Blinking and pulling herself out of her musings, Regina smiled cordially. "I'm sorry. It's still just…really good to see you," she admitted, stepping aside and letting Emma into her apartment.

"You too," Emma said brightly. "Wow, nice digs you got here," she complimented as Regina led her into the kitchen.

"Thank you," Regina responded, "It's small, but it's nice and close to work."

"So…you live alone?" Emma asked hesitantly.

"Yes," Regina answered shortly, checking on the chicken that was currently baking in the oven and then turning to Emma and gesturing to the counter. "You can place your things there if you'd like."

Emma sat down the wine and dish carefully, then turned to Regina with what looked like a forced grin. "It's bread pudding," she said. "I hope you don't mind that I brought it. I hate coming empty-handed to dinner."

"Thank you, Emma, that sounds wonderful," Regina said cordially, reaching for the bottle opener and deftly pulling the cork out before pouring two generous glasses.

"Dinner is almost ready," she said casually around the lump in her throat. This was awkward. They were acting like strangers, when Regina could remember clearly the feel of Emma's body and the taste of her tongue, the desire in her eyes and the love and comfort they used to share with each other.

" _This feels unreal," Emma breathed against Regina's neck as her hand found its way under Regina's shirt to cup her breast, eliciting a gasp from Regina as her body responded to the touch._

_She gently stroked Emma's hair as they lay together under the covers of Regina's bed. "I don't know why I waited so long to show you how I feel," she whispered, her back arching as Emma's hand traveled down her stomach and toyed with the waistband of her pajama pants. Emma lifted her head and kissed Regina sweetly._

_Regina wasn't in the mood for sweet, however, and she pressed herself hard against her girlfriend, forcing her lips open and exploring her mouth desperately. They had gone so slow, sneaking make-out sessions and copping feels for a few days now, and she felt like she was about to break from the strain of her want for_ all  _of Emma. Her hand found its way down Emma's pants and she softly cupped Emma where she wanted to most. The blonde gasped loudly, pulling Regina's mouth harder against hers and bucking up into her hand._

" _Oh, God," Regina sighed at the feeling of Emma's warmth against her palm. Desire slammed into her harder than it ever had before, stealing her breath and making her feel light-headed as an unbearable ache swept through her body. "Please, Emma, let me touch you…"_

" _Yes…"_

" _-_ about it now or wait until after dinner? Regina? Are you okay?"

Regina blinked, realizing that she'd gotten lost in her own head again. There was a tell-tale ache in her belly from the memory of just a few days before that article ruined their lives, but she took a deep breath and formed her hands into fists, letting her nails dig into her palms painfully to distract her from her traitorous body.

"Forgive me, Emma. I-"

The timer on the oven went off then, and Regina turned around to pull the chicken out and lay it on the stove to cool. "I hope you like chicken parmigiana," she said conversationally as she began pulling out plates and cutlery and setting their places on the table.

"I do," Emma replied. "But, did you hear what I said a second ago?"

"I'm afraid," Regina admitted, "that I got lost in thought once again. So, no, I didn't hear you."

Emma huffed slightly, then shook her head. "I just…wanted to know if you wanted to skip this almost painful chit chat and get down to why I'm really here. We still need to talk."

"Indeed." Regina quickly dished out their dinner and together they sat down to eat. "I'll admit I'm surprised that you didn't bring your husband and son to dinner. I'm sure I said you were welcome to."

"Yeah, here's the thing," Emma began as she blew on the first bite of her food to cool it and then took a bite. "Oh, wow, this tastes like Eleanor taught you to make it," she laughed before cutting another bite for herself with gusto.

"I'll take that as a compliment," Regina said, starting to feel impatient. "You were saying?"

Emma swallowed her second bite and wiped her mouth with a napkin and then sipping her wine. Regina was sure she was going to combust or pass out from anticipation of whatever Emma was about to say.

Emma took a deep breath, then took a sudden large gulp of wine before she  _finally_ spoke. "When I got out of the hospital and was delivered like a package to Ingrid's door, I was…broken. I'd been pulled away from a school that I loved, a town that felt more like home than anywhere I'd ever been before, and…" she trailed off, shyly gazing at Regina before going on, "my dream girl."

Regina's heart rate picked up, and she wanted to interrupt and ask her if she still felt that way, but kept silent and nodded, urging the blonde to continue.

"I was going to keep playing softball. Get a full ride scholarship, you know? I was going to keep cooking and keep trying to achieve my goals. And then  _he_  broke me down. I know I blamed you at the time, but it was him all along. It was always him.

"So, when I got to Ingrid's, I was a mess. I lashed out at her and her husband, snuck out, got deep into drugs and alcohol, skipped school…the essential cocktail for failure."

"Why, though?" Regina asked. "Why would you sabotage yourself like that?"

Emma was quiet for a moment, and they both ate in silence while she contemplated what to say to the question. "How did Henry and Cora react when they saw the picture of us in that magazine?"

Startled by the change in subject and wondering where Emma was going with this, Regina answered, "They were disappointed."

"In us?"

"In the magazine. Mother sued the whole company for it, and won. Did you know that?"

"I had heard, yes," Emma smirked.

Regina nodded and went on, "After everything…happened, and you were gone, I was inconsolable. I called every hospital, then every group home, then every school and beyond to try to find you. They hid you well, I'll give them that. But one day, Mother sat me down and handed me a tiny cedar box, intricately carved and beautiful."

" _What is this, Mother?" Regina asked, wiping tears from her face and peering at the box curiously._

" _Open it and you'll see," Cora said softly, sitting down next to her daughter and folding her hands in her lap. Regina reached forward and unlatched the box, lifting the lid, to reveal that it was full of pictures. Gingerly, she picked them up and began to look through them one by one._

_They were all pictures of herself and Emma: The night of their fair "dates", prom, candid shots of them playing videogames (Regina's face was contorted in frustration in most of those) and helping Eleanor cook, even shots sneakily taken through the window as the girls sat outside on the swing or tended to the garden they had started. There were pictures of their movie nights, Emma with her Beetle, and finally…_

_The picture that Cora had taken the night of the book release party. Regina remembered it well: Emma had tickled her and forced her to laugh, and now she saw why Cora had kept it. She and Emma were_ beaming _. They had locked eyes while Regina had been laughing and the amount of joy and love on their faces was clear as day._

" _Mother…"_

" _If you thought I hadn't picked up on how you felt about each other, you weren't paying much attention," Cora quipped, crossing her arms. Regina glanced up at her in trepidation, only to see that her mother's face was filled with love and understanding. "It was not your fault, Regina," Cora said softly. "Loving Emma didn't cause this to happen. Loving her saved her life. And one day she'll see that."_

Regina didn't relay her mother's exact message to Emma, but finished the story with "She was looking at me, so sad and more gently than she'd ever looked at me. And that's when I knew that she would love and accept me for who I am, no matter what."

Emma was nodding as she finished her meal and stood to rinse off her plate and refill their wine glasses. Regina watched her for a moment before standing and depositing her own plate into the sink. "Would you like to go into the living room for the rest of this conversation?" she asked. "My couch is much comfier than my kitchen chairs."

At Emma's nod of affirmation, Regina led her into the aforementioned room. When they had both settled on opposite ends of the couch, Regina crossed her legs and looked at Emma expectantly.

After a generous swig out of her glass, Emma crossed her own legs and leaned back into the cushions.

"I'm happy that your family accepted you," she murmured. "James….fuck."

Regina could see the pain cross Emma's face at the sound of her abuser's name and reached out, gently touching Emma's knee. "You don't have to talk about him," she whispered. Emma shook her head and held her hand out. "No, I have to. It's time."

"So, when  _he_  heard about it, saw it, he came unglued. Of fucking course he'd been drunk when he found out. I was upstairs, folding my laundry and getting ready for practice, when he burst into my room. He grabbed me by the arm, threw me against my desk, then dragged me to the floor and spit in my face. He was calling me all the worst things you can call a lesbian. I'm sure I don't have to list them for you to get it."

Regina shook her head silently, feeling sick to her stomach. She wasn't ready to hear this. Hearing about it made her want to kill James Nolan in all the worst ways. But she stayed quiet and let Emma continue.

"I don't remember much after that. I think I yelled and screamed at him, fought him. Landed a couple of good hits myself. At one point, his fist landed against my temple and I blacked out for a bit. Next thing I knew, I was being brought to by an EMT and being lifted onto a gurney. James was still screaming, telling them to get out of his house and let him deal with the 'fucking disgusting, piece of shit dyke' his wife had forced him to foster. The next person I saw was you, standing at the curb by your house with tears running down your face and your cell phone in hand. I knew immediately that it was you that had called them. And in my anger, in my pain, all I could think was that eventually he would have stopped, I'd have needed a couple days to hide away and maybe make up a lie about a car crash, and you had ruined my life by calling an ambulance and revealing James for what he was. Just a couple more months and I could have moved out, started my life. And it was over."

"You had  _broken bones_ , Emma," Regina snapped defensively, bristling at the accusation. "That's not something you could have just  _hidden_."

Emma laughed. "Calm down, Mills," she said. "You wanted to know how I felt. What my story was. This is it. Let me go on and you'll have all your answers, okay?"

Regina nodded stiffly, leaning back into the couch and closing her mouth. Emma sighed and drank more wine before speaking again. "I had been beaten for being a lesbian," she whispered, "and before my caseworker dropped me off with Ingrid, she advised me to 'get over that phase or hide it' because not many parents would accept a gay kid. It was more than any foster wanted to take on. So, I took her advice."

Regina's eyes widened in horror as pieces of the puzzle finally started to fit together.

"Your son…" She trailed off, not sure if she could finish the sentence.

Emma nodded. "I used drugs and alcohol to numb the pain and the memories, and I slept with a lot of men to force myself to like it, so I could be  _normal_."

With those words, Regina's heart shattered. Her eyes welled up with tears. "Emma," she whispered brokenly. Emma's own eyes were shining, but she flashed a smile. "My son…his father was just a random guy I hooked up with, six years ago. Don't know his name, don't think I'll ever see him again."

Regina's pulse had quickened again. "So…the man on the phone the other night?"

"Ingrid's brother, Wesley. See, Ingrid's husband passed away two years ago, so Wes comes around often to help us out with anything we need. He's great. I'm really, really lucky that I finally ended up with a good family."

"I'm happy for you," Regina said softly. "I'm just so sorry you went through all that. That you had to change yourself."

"It was worth it, I think," Emma said. "I love my son. He's what helped me get clean, helped me open my eyes. It was the first time I'd ever felt unconditional love. I knew he would love me no matter who I was, as long as I was a good person and a good mother. So with Ingrid and Wes's help, I got my GED, got a bachelor's in business, and together we bought that beachfront property and started the bar. Really, I owe my son so much. Without him, I might still be in a pit of despair somewhere. Happiest little surprise I ever received!" She laughed and Regina's lips twitched in understanding, before turning down into a frown. There was still two questions left.

"Why didn't you reach out to me sooner? Unlike you, I could be found easily. Speaking of being found, why could I never find you?"

Emma at least had the decency to look ashamed. "I had to change my name. Emily Hansen was the name they gave to me, and I didn't argue. I still went by Emma, or Em, but I legally changed it back about three years ago. Emily Hansen was a scared, angry drug addict. Emma Swan was this confident, happy person and I wanted her back. I know it's stupid…"

"It isn't," Regina interjected. Emma smiled at her, then continued. "I kept your cell phone number," she admitted. "I also wrote you letters. I never sent any of them, but I wrote them. The first few were so angry…and then some were written while I was nearly incoherent and high out of my mind. As time went on, they changed from angry and nearly unreadable to full of sadness, regret, memories…but I never sent one. It's like I was writing in a diary, except my diary was you, even though you'd never see the entries. I honestly can't tell you why I never called or wrote, why I never looked for you online…except that I was too ashamed of myself, of what I'd become and what I'd done, and I figured you'd never want to hear from me again. So the bar…naming it Queenie's was like an open invitation. If there was even a slight chance you were still in this part of Maine, you'd hear about it and make your own choice. And you did, and I'm glad.

"I am surprised though," she said suddenly. "Regina Mills, a lawyer. I always imagined you'd go on to be a professional saxophone player. Maybe put out a CD, play little jazzy joints and smoke fancy clove cigarettes on your balcony in SoHo. Something like that."

Regina smirked. The teenager she had been would have loved a life like that: simple and fulfilling and relaxed. The adult she had become, however, scoffed at the imagery. "I have never smoked cigarettes, nor lived in SoHo. Or wanted to."

Suddenly, Regina's cell phone rang. Glancing at it, she saw Milah's name flash on the screen. "I'm sorry," she said, picking it up and standing. "This is work, I have to take this."

"No worries," Emma said. Regina walked into the kitchen and answered the call. "What?" she demanded, her annoyance at being interrupted evident in her voice.

She listened to Milah tell her about how evidence was found against Regina's current client, meaning that Regina was about to lose her case. Anger flaring up in her, Regina spat, "And how on earth was this evidence obtained? Lloyd isn't the best person, but it should have been  _easy_  for him to obtain custody of his daughter."

" _Yeah,_ " Milah scoffed, sounding disgusted.  _"Except the fucker grew a goddamn conscience and confessed to being an alcoholic and abusing the now ex-wife before. He's been going to AA, but turns out, he's been using an extra credit card to purchase the drinks. He thought he covered his tracks, but they found the info. And he cracked....to the wife's lawyer's assistant in a fucking bar, who recorded the whole confession._ "

Regina's nostrils flared in fury. She thought she'd been defending a man with a small drinking problem due to stress. But abuse? "You tell that slimy little fungus that there is a price for not only diverting from my plans that I make using my  _extensive expertise,_ but for lying to me as well. My reputation will take a hit for this, but I vow on my father's name that Lloyd will have to relocate at least two thousand miles to comfortably show his face anywhere."

" _Come tell him yourself. Only reason I know this is because he's at the bloody office right now, sniveling like a complete wanker."_

Regina pinched the bridge of her nose. "I'm on the way."

After hanging up with her partner, Regina walked into the living room to see that Emma was on her feet, arms crossed uncomfortably. "You're different," she said, accusatorily. Regina held her hands out to the sides in a clear gesture of  _so what_? "So are you," she said, stating the obvious. Emma shook her head violently and took a step back. "You not only became a lawyer, you became the worst kind."

" _Excuse_  me?" Regina gasped in shock, not knowing where this was coming from. This was a jarring turn of events. "What on Earth are you talking about?"

Emma was shaking now, but whether in fear or anger, Regina couldn't be sure. Through gritted teeth, Emma growled, "I heard the whole conversation. You're a family and divorce lawyer. And you're defending an abusive alcoholic, being paid what I'm sure is a pretty penny to help him keep the daughter he probably  _beats._  Is this who you are now?" she demanded, her voice rising an octave. "You're part of the problem! You've become one of those….those… _people_  that allowed James Nolan to avoid doing hard time longer than six months! If they have money, you'll lie and cheat and swindle and build up your reputation as being the best of the best, for what? Does this job make you happy? Who  _are_  you?"

Regina was seeing red now. Emma only caught part of a terrible development in her case, and this is how she was going to react, without knowing the details? "How dare you stand in my home and accuse me of such things!" she shouted. "You disappeared for almost a decade, didn't bother to let me know you were even still on this planet, after  _I saved your ungrateful little life_! Yet here you stand, after eating  _my_ food and begging for  _my_ time, accepting  _my_ hospitality, and you speak to me like I would  _ever_ sink so low as to do what you're accusing me of? You know  _nothing_ about me, Emma Swan. You're a fool to think otherwise."

Emma looked hurt, but defiant, and Regina stepped forward into her space, falling into "lawyer mode" and being as intimidating as she knew she could be. Holding direct eye contact with the blonde, Regina sneered, "You weren't the only one that lost their way after what James did. How selfish and childish of you to only think of yourself and not of how your sudden departure, not to mention your hiding away like some  _rat_  in the dark, scared of your own shadow and scared of your feelings for me affected  _me._  But I'm not  _near_  as lost as you would like to think I am. I made something of myself almost immediately while you rolled with the pigs for years."

Emma's eyes flashed with offense and something deeper, maybe heartbreak, but when she opened her mouth to speak, Regina interrupted her. She couldn't stop the words from coming out. She was furious and she was stuck.

"You don't get to speak!" she growled, using a finger to poke Emma in the chest, pushing her back a little. "You already wasted both of our time with your petty excuse for a grand gesture of apology and forgiveness. I now have to go deal with this sudden pest control problem I'm having at my office. I'd like very much for you to get the hell out of my home."

Emma held her gaze for a moment longer, their eyes locked in heated combat. If looks could kill, they'd both be dead. Regina's lips were curled into a sneer and Emma's were a thin line of defiance and disappointment, and Regina wanted nothing more than for Emma to swing at her. She needed some release of all this tension, all of this pain and anger she hadn't even realized she'd been harboring.

However, Emma just turned away silently, collected their uneaten dessert from the kitchen, and stormed out of the apartment, one final sentence leaving her mouth as she did so:

"I'll just take this back home with me. Henry will be more grateful for my dessert than some uppity sleazeball lawyer I once thought was a good person."

When the door slammed shut behind her, Regina was left with the knowledge that she'd just shown Emma the worst part of what was now her personality: the take-charge, bitchy, insulting, intimidating lawyer on a power trip. But what had she expected? She accused Regina of something as heinous as protecting and defending an abuser, when she knew nothing of the situation. She hadn't meant to let herself lose control of her response, but she had. Emma had always been able to make her feel the strongest of every emotion…

Wait.

Regina's hand flew to her mouth as her brain cooled down and caught up to the most recent bombshell Emma had dropped:

" _Henry?"_


	15. Chapter 15

"I don't think I've ever seen you make a grown man  _cry_  before," Milah remarked with amusement as soon as Regina's now ex-client ran from the office. When Regina neither laughed with her or bothered to respond to the comment, Milah frowned. "What's wrong?"

Regina sat stiffly in her leather desk chair, eyes down and unfocused and twirling a pen distractedly between her fingers. "It doesn't matter," she finally responded quietly. Milah sighed. "What happened with Emma?" she asked smartly, making Regina start and look directly at her, foggy eyes clearing. "How did you-"

"I'm a lawyer, and I'm your partner. I can read you pretty well, whether you like it or not," Milah bragged before scooting to the edge of her chair and folded her hands together, placing them on the desk in front of her. "So, dish before you explode."

"What right do you assume you have to ask about my life?" Regina snapped, slamming her hand down on the table. Milah started, leaning back into her chair and lifting her eyebrows in reaction. "Oh, Lord, you've had a spat with her," she realized. "What about?"

Milah had this way of letting Regina know she wouldn't be intimidated, and though Regina tried her best not to show it, she liked Milah for it. Well, maybe "liked" was a strong word…she respected her. And thus, she began to open up.

"She overheard our conversation this evening," Regina sighed. "She thinks I'm an 'uppity sleaze ball" lawyer now."

"What on Earth made her decide that all of a sudden?"

"She thought I knew Lloyd was an abuser and was still representing him for the money," Regina stated simply. Milah groaned, leaning back and throwing an arm over her face. "I have the worst fucking timing. I'm sorry, Regina."

Regina shook her head. "Not your fault. I should have taken the call completely out of earshot. Emma doesn't like lawyers very much to begin with. The foster father she had…well, he got himself a lawyer that got him a minimal sentence for what he did to her. So she's scared that I'm one of them. Honestly, I can't blame her. I would  _kill_  Lloyd if I knew I could get away with it."

"I know a good lawyer," Milah joked, then sobered up again. "You need to call her, explain what happened."

"She may not want anything to do with me anymore. Emma is….different now. When I knew her, she was so sure of herself. Confident, happy despite everything. She had her moments, I mean, we were teenagers. But who she is now…she's trying to get to know herself again. I think she expected me to be the same so I could help her find who she was." Before saying it out loud, Regina hadn't thought about it. But as the words came flowing from her mouth, she realized they were probably true. Emma had commented on how she'd expected her to still play the saxophone, still be the Cali girl at heart. She'd failed Emma by changing just as much as, but on the opposite scale from, Emma.

"Sounds like talking about it is helping you figure some things out," Milah said, somehow always extremely intuitive. She was smart and she was good at reading people; it's what made her a worthwhile partner.

"But…even if I called her and explained why I-explain what she heard, there's something else I'm not sure how to approach."

"What now?" Milah cried, throwing her arms up. "It's like you opened Pandora's box when it comes to this girl."

"Her son," Regina whispered. "His name is Henry." Shocked silent after the statement, Milah's jaw dropped for a moment before she recovered her wits.

"Oh, shit."

" _Exactly."_

"I feel like you're literally living a soap opera," Milah sighed. "Call her, clear things up. You  _have_ to, at this point. You keep getting answers that create more questions. And now  _I'm_  emotionally invested in this. Call her!"

Regina pinched the bridge of her nose. She'd never realized just how similar Milah and Zelena were. "I know I have to. I'm just not sure I can."

Milah slapped her hands on her thighs and then stood, giving one more sentence before she exited the office:

"Well, it wouldn't be like you to not  _try._ "

* * *

Two days and four unanswered attempts to call Emma later, Regina decided that enough was enough. Emma was ignoring her calls, and Regina was  _never_ one to go out of her way for people who wouldn't even  _answer the goddamn phone_.

So that's why she found herself in an immaculate (and unnecessarily expensive) track suit, jogging her way down a winding wooded path near the park by her apartment complex, headphones in and the music on her phone turned up on full volume.  _Anything_  to push these thoughts from her head, this nagging anxiety and nausea that had been present ever since she first laid eyes on Emma Swan in her new bar. If she didn't work off the extra energy, she felt she would surely explode from it and have some sort of mental breakdown, and that was something she simply couldn't afford.

" _I want you to see California."_

" _I want to see it too."_

" _Then we're going to go. I'll get plane tickets, we'll go next summer after graduation. I'll introduce you to Zelena, you'll love her and she'll adore you…I'll take you to Disneyland, my old house, the beach where I used to swim and surf…"_

" _It still blows my mind that you're a surfer, you know that?"_

" _I'm not a surfer, not by any means. Took a couple lessons as a child, it was just something I did for fun…_ "

" _You have to show me. You have to teach me."_

" _Next summer. I promise."_

Regina shook her head violently, trying to shake the memory from her head. That promise had never been fulfilled. And it never would. Huffing, she picked up her pace, desperate to stop the thoughts swirling in her brain.

Her music was so loud, she didn't hear the yell of warning before a giant soccer ball connected with her head-hard.

The blow was enough to knock her off her feet, dizzy and seeing spots, before filling up with rage. "What on  _Earth?!"_

She tore the headphones out of her ears, looking around for the culprit of what had just happened to her, and her eyes landed on a small boy running toward her, red in the face and eyes welling up with tears. She'd been jogging past a group of young children playing soccer, and hadn't even noticed. They were all staring guiltily at her now, but only this one boy was approaching her. He looked to be about four or five years old…where was his mother?

"I'm so sorry!" the boy wailed when he reached her, tears streaming freely. "I kicked the ball and it went too high and too far, I didn't mean to!"

Tamping down the rage and the pain, Regina forced a smile at the small boy. "That's quite all right," she said softly. "I should have been paying more attention to where I was going."

"Are you hurt bad?" the boy asked timidly, chewing on his bottom lip. Regina smiled a bit wider, then pulled herself to her feet and brushed off her pants. "I don't think so, I think I will be fine. You have quite a strong kick for someone so small."

The boy grinned crookedly and nodded. "That's what Coach says. Says I'll be good at soccer if I just keep pra-tick-sing."

"Ah, your coach is very correct.  _Practice_  makes perfect," Regina said, subtly correcting his mispronunciation. "You should probably get back to your game."

The boy nodded emphatically, mouthing the word  _practice_  once more before wiping his sweaty brown hair off his forehead. "Okay," he said. "I-"

"Henry!  _Henry,_ get back here!"

Regina started violently at the sound of Emma Swan's voice, sudden and worried. When she glanced up and toward the direction it came from, she saw the blonde running over. "What have I told you about talking to-oh."

Emma had stopped mid-run, taking in the sight before her as she recognized just who it was her son- _her son-_ was talking to.

"Regina," she breathed, now approaching slowly, timidly.

"Emma," Regina returned, steeling her features so as not to allow Emma the knowledge of how shaken she was at her sudden appearance.

"Mama, you  _know_  her?" Henry piped up excitedly, his bright brown eyes lighting up. "I hit her with the ball, Mama. It was an accident, I kicked too hard. She's okay though! Who is she?"

Regina was still staring at Emma, taking in her messy ponytail, skin-tight yoga pants and white v-neck tee that was plastered to her skin with sweat. Regina could see the outline of her sports bra through the thin fabric.  _Ugh, reign it in, Regina._

"We used to be friends a long time ago," Emma was addressing Henry. "Did you apologize to her?"

"Yes, Mama."

"Good boy. Go back to your practice, okay?"

"'Kay!" Henry shouted, retrieving his ball and running back to the group while yelling back over his shoulder, "Bye, Miss Ruhgina!"

"Goodbye," Regina called after him, then turning back to Emma and finishing, " _Henry,"_ in an almost accusatory tone. She couldn't help it. She still had questions, so many questions, and Emma had ignored her for two entire days. She was a bit crabby.

Emma's head ducked down in shame or embarrassment, something, before she spoke softly. "I couldn't hide forever, I guess."

"Oh, hiding, were you? Here I thought you were just ignoring me."

"I was," Emma said blatantly, lifting her head back up to meet Regina's icy gaze. "I didn't know how to handle you. The fact that you're a lawyer. The fact that-"

"That you didn't even hear me out? The fact that I  _obliterated_  that poor excuse of a man later on that night in my office?"

"What, just because you were mad at me and what I think of you? Don't let me stand in the way of your paycheck, Regina!"

"I threw his casework in his face, Emma Swan, and I told him I would never represent him, nor would any lawyer in my contacts, which happens to be  _extensive._  I do not represent monsters for  _any_  amount of money. You would know that, if you had given me two  _seconds_  of your time in the past couple of days _._ "

Emma's jaw had gone slack and she was staring at Regina like she'd grown an extra head. "So…I misconstrued everything and made a total ass of myself at dinner for no reason," she said softly, a horrified expression on her face.

"Oh, that's putting it mildly," Regina quipped.

"Hey, you were an ass too," Emma defended. "You said some awful things to me, things that I've heard from others but never  _dreamed_  I'd hear from you!"

"Sometimes the truth hurts," Regina snapped.

They stood there, locked silently in a standoff, on that trail amidst the noise of children playing and dogs barking, daring each other with their eyes to continue this argument further. Finally, Emma sighed. "I'm sorry," she said. "Look…I have to go back to my yoga session." She gestured over to where a group of women had contorted their bodies in uniformity, each on a yoga mat in the grass. An instructor was walking around them, adjusting their form and praising them. "I come here every weekend. Henry practices soccer with his team and the coach, and I do yoga not far away from their game." She started to back away, looking like a cornered rabbit.

"Don't let me keep you," Regina dismissed, putting her headphones back in place and nodding curtly at the blonde. The longer she stood there, the more the fire in her gut built to an unbearable fury in her body. She needed to get out of there. She needed to get as far away from Emma as possible, before…

No.

As the blonde's hurt expression turned away from her, as Emma started to walk back to her group, Regina tore the headphones back off and shouted, "Why?!"

Emma spun on her heel, looking back at Regina incredulously. Regina's feet began to move of their own accord, eventually bringing her almost nose-to-nose with the infuriating blonde.

"Why is his name Henry?  _Why_  did you name your bar after me?  _WHY_  did you contact me, explain things to me, make me feel like there was still some way to save our friendship, what we had, just to throw it all in my face at the first opportunity? What do you want from me, Emma? Tell me! Tell me why you named your son after my father!  _Tell me what you want from me!"_

Heads were starting to turn, but Regina didn't care. It felt like there was an electric current running through her body, bubbling under her skin.

"Do you really think this is the best place to talk about this?" Emma asked in a harsh whisper, her piercing green eyes wide.

"We've met twice. Today makes the third time, and I feel like I'm being yanked on a damn chain! You shouldn't have this much of a hold over me. It's been almost a decade! I should have moved on, I should have forgotten you. I should have let you cast me aside instead of devoting my  _entire life_  to finding justice for people like you. You wanted to know why I'm a lawyer?  _You._  You, Emma! I felt so helpless that day, and  _all_ the days after! I couldn't sit back anymore when I knew there was a way to help people. I threw away my dreams so that I could  _somehow_  make up for being absolutely powerless when the  _woman I love_  needed me the most!"

"You did it all for me?" Emma asked softly. Tears were beginning to roll down Emma's face at Regina's emotional outburst of information. Regina hadn't meant to let it all out, right there in the park, but she couldn't hold it in anymore. She couldn't go on like this. Something had to give.

And then, it did. Much to Regina's surprise, Emma stepped closer, bringing her hands hesitantly to Regina's furiously red face. "Haven't you figured it out yet, Queenie?" she whispered. "I was so scared to find you, to talk to you, to reach out…because I've never gotten over you. When I saw you, that day in the bar…I didn't expect the feelings, the attraction,  _everything_  I used to feel for you to come flooding back so intensely. It scared the hell out of me. Dinner at your place…I assumed the worst and bolted because I couldn't handle it all. Everything is so different, and yet everything is the same."

It was Regina's turn to be flabbergasted. "You…I…"

"I am sick of walking on eggshells. That's not who I am," Emma went on, her grip on Regina's face tightening slightly. "I came back here, I created my bar and dedicated it to you, wanted to find you…because I have always loved you, Regina. And I want you back in my life, whatever the cost."

Finally, she stepped back. "I  _really_  need to get back. And I'm sorry for ignoring your calls. Can I make it up to you?"

Regina, still shaken from Emma's closeness and her words, stuttered, "I-I…how?"

Emma beamed. "Come out with me. Let me take you on a date. It's time we  _really_ talked."


End file.
